Aa
vent
I dont get it at all, it is soo unfair. Ok, I cant get pregnant, that *****. Why do I continue to suffer with my period? If I can't get pregnant, it should just stop. There shouldn't have to be all these years of cramps and inconvenience if it is completely WORTHLESS. I'm just pissed is all.
I'm so glad I found you guys. I just had my first fertility appt. I am almost 42. The doctor said at my age IVF is the only thing to try. He said even if I wait to try to conceive naturally or trying other things like IUI I will be waisting my time and my chances do do IVF successfully the older I get. I went to him because I wanted to know "where I was at" with bloodwork and stuff (FSH levels, progesterone etc) he said it didn't matter because he would have to give me hormones anyway.
And...my regular doctor is turning out to be a jerk and not sympathetic or anything. So I am trying to figure out what to do next. I have a bunch of bloodwork prescriptions to get done. But I want to find a doctor who is at least nice to me. I've been asking friends and stuff for referrels but not having much luck
And...my regular doctor is turning out to be a jerk and not sympathetic or anything. So I am trying to figure out what to do next. I have a bunch of bloodwork prescriptions to get done. But I want to find a doctor who is at least nice to me. I've been asking friends and stuff for referrels but not having much luck
Just checking in and all of you! I am hanging in there myself. Just found out that my cousin's 19 year old is pregnant, which just makes me mad again. I just saw her in August and now I find out she is due in June. Just not fair that we all are trying to get pregnant and young girls get pregnant all the time. I am on CD 24, so keep me in your prayers. I am just learning how to use to ovulation tracker, and I really like it. I am no longer taking fertility drugs, so I am hoping to get my system back to normal.
Thanks Breezy for all the great information! I couldn't agree with you more about everything you said! :-) That high FSH thing means exactly what you said (perhaps our ovaries aren't AS responsive as in our 20's or 30's), maybe with a little hormone imbalance thrown into the mix. And you're absolutely right about the tons of great info from Randine Lewis' book. I loved that book and "Inconceivable" by Julia Indichova.
The normal state of our bodies at this age is to be able to still conceive. If we can't, there are reasons why. But most RE's don't feel like taking the time to try to figure out what it is, beyond your basic lab tests. And as you said, once you get a high FSH, that's the equivalent of a fertility death sentence! And it is a crock! I read somewhere that a study was done on a rat's ovary. They took the ovary out of an older, non-ovulating rat and put it into a younger rat, and it suddenly started ovulating! So the balance of hormones is everything! There are not a bunch of old, bad eggs in there! It just requires proper hormone balance to conceive and maintain a pregnancy.
I was told I was post-menopausal....twice (very elevated FSH and LH). Neither of the drs who made that bold diagnosis bothered to mention that it was most likely due to side effects from a medication I've had to be on for lupus joint pain. So in the last three months, I have had three chemical pregnancies. So I can conceive! Last time I checked, post-menopausal women don't ovulate!!! I ovulate...every month! Like clockwork! I'm having trouble with AF not being normal and stuff, but I know with a few adjustments, that will change and I WILL have a child. I just turned 42, and after adding Maca Root last month and only taking it for two days, I had actual ovulation symptoms, which I hadn't had since my 20's! (cervical mucus, spotting with both ovulation and implantation)
So bottom line is everyone's body is different. When my hormones were low (DHEA and testosterone), I responded well to DHEA. Now the maca seems to help but I think I need a lower dose. It seems to make my borderline hyper-thyroid even faster, but I can't argue with the fertility benefits! So I have now added a regimen of Vitex twice daily and today added back D ong Quai, Red Raspberry and Black Cohosh. In addition, I do acupuncture every week or two. Going to start yoga as soon as I can afford it. AND I (who has gluten intolerance and my whole family has celiac disease) am officially off gluten and going to stay off it forever!
I told my friend today who just got her first "high" FSH at 26, that we have to ignore that nonsense spewed by the negative, nay-saying RE's, and take care of our bodies. We know our bodies better than anyone! My approach for a while will probably be to use a little of both approaches (Eastern and Western medicine). I found a really nice female RE who takes my insurance. So I will proceed with her testing and see what she recommends, in addition to keeping up with my supplements, etc.
The most important thing is to not get discouraged! Have faith! And be patient! Of course that's not easy when we're older and we've been told over and over that time has run out on us! But getting our bodies back into balance (hormones, etc.) takes time. But if we stick to it, we will feel the benefits. Only God knows whether a baby will result, but we're not going to go down without a fight! Taking better care of our bodies can have only good results any way.
Everyone hang in there! Keep listening to your bodies and make the adjustments that your body tells you to do! Number one thing....try to keep the stress level to a minimum! How many times have you heard of women who try forever to get pregnant, decided to adopt, and then end up pregnant right away! I know three of those women personally! So what does that tell you about how key STRESS is? Any way, SSBD to all! :-)
Sherri
The normal state of our bodies at this age is to be able to still conceive. If we can't, there are reasons why. But most RE's don't feel like taking the time to try to figure out what it is, beyond your basic lab tests. And as you said, once you get a high FSH, that's the equivalent of a fertility death sentence! And it is a crock! I read somewhere that a study was done on a rat's ovary. They took the ovary out of an older, non-ovulating rat and put it into a younger rat, and it suddenly started ovulating! So the balance of hormones is everything! There are not a bunch of old, bad eggs in there! It just requires proper hormone balance to conceive and maintain a pregnancy.
I was told I was post-menopausal....twice (very elevated FSH and LH). Neither of the drs who made that bold diagnosis bothered to mention that it was most likely due to side effects from a medication I've had to be on for lupus joint pain. So in the last three months, I have had three chemical pregnancies. So I can conceive! Last time I checked, post-menopausal women don't ovulate!!! I ovulate...every month! Like clockwork! I'm having trouble with AF not being normal and stuff, but I know with a few adjustments, that will change and I WILL have a child. I just turned 42, and after adding Maca Root last month and only taking it for two days, I had actual ovulation symptoms, which I hadn't had since my 20's! (cervical mucus, spotting with both ovulation and implantation)
So bottom line is everyone's body is different. When my hormones were low (DHEA and testosterone), I responded well to DHEA. Now the maca seems to help but I think I need a lower dose. It seems to make my borderline hyper-thyroid even faster, but I can't argue with the fertility benefits! So I have now added a regimen of Vitex twice daily and today added back D ong Quai, Red Raspberry and Black Cohosh. In addition, I do acupuncture every week or two. Going to start yoga as soon as I can afford it. AND I (who has gluten intolerance and my whole family has celiac disease) am officially off gluten and going to stay off it forever!
I told my friend today who just got her first "high" FSH at 26, that we have to ignore that nonsense spewed by the negative, nay-saying RE's, and take care of our bodies. We know our bodies better than anyone! My approach for a while will probably be to use a little of both approaches (Eastern and Western medicine). I found a really nice female RE who takes my insurance. So I will proceed with her testing and see what she recommends, in addition to keeping up with my supplements, etc.
The most important thing is to not get discouraged! Have faith! And be patient! Of course that's not easy when we're older and we've been told over and over that time has run out on us! But getting our bodies back into balance (hormones, etc.) takes time. But if we stick to it, we will feel the benefits. Only God knows whether a baby will result, but we're not going to go down without a fight! Taking better care of our bodies can have only good results any way.
Everyone hang in there! Keep listening to your bodies and make the adjustments that your body tells you to do! Number one thing....try to keep the stress level to a minimum! How many times have you heard of women who try forever to get pregnant, decided to adopt, and then end up pregnant right away! I know three of those women personally! So what does that tell you about how key STRESS is? Any way, SSBD to all! :-)
Sherri
Oops, when I said there may be clinics where you live that do IVF, I meant NATRUAL-CYCLE IVF!
Also, my highest FSH level (recorded anyway) was 59, and I still got pregnant after that. I recommend the book The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. Different things can affect FSH levels--stress being one of them.
Finally, I have a friend in WI with MS and she tries to avoid gluten as well. She found a place there that has tons of gluten-free foods. They're out there b/c a lot of people have celiac disease, so it's worth looking in your area.
One more thing, you should have an endocrinologist look at your DHEA levels and testosterone levels to see if you're a candidate. The clinic that prescribes it here pretty much does so across the board if your bloodwork is okay, but I read somewhere that a saliva test should be done for part of the analysis. I believe the amount they prescribe is 75 mg, but I can't remember if that's daily or twice a day. I myself havent taken it but was seriously considering it until I wound up with blocked tubes.
Okay, I think that's REALLY it!
Also, my highest FSH level (recorded anyway) was 59, and I still got pregnant after that. I recommend the book The Infertility Cure by Randine Lewis. Different things can affect FSH levels--stress being one of them.
Finally, I have a friend in WI with MS and she tries to avoid gluten as well. She found a place there that has tons of gluten-free foods. They're out there b/c a lot of people have celiac disease, so it's worth looking in your area.
One more thing, you should have an endocrinologist look at your DHEA levels and testosterone levels to see if you're a candidate. The clinic that prescribes it here pretty much does so across the board if your bloodwork is okay, but I read somewhere that a saliva test should be done for part of the analysis. I believe the amount they prescribe is 75 mg, but I can't remember if that's daily or twice a day. I myself havent taken it but was seriously considering it until I wound up with blocked tubes.
Okay, I think that's REALLY it!
Hi.
I don't even want to begin my rant because it would go on for 3 days, but I want to let you all know that I COMPLETELY identify with everything you're saying and I feel your pain, anger and frustration!!
I also want to say that there are several clinics here in NYC that do natural cycle IVF, which I knew nothing about for more than a year of trying because the "big" clinics told me over and over that my ONLY option was donor egg due to my high FSH (around 20 at that time). I learned about New Hope Fertility Clinic (the one to which you're referring, alikat) from an acupuncturist, but I've since learned about 3 more here that do the same thing. In fact, I went to New Hope, and was ready to move forward but then they wanted to give me clomid, which I REFUSE to take since the one and only time I did take it, I wound up bleeding on and off for a month (it was like getting my period three times in one month). After that, I was told my a different big fertility clinic and two acupuncturists that women over 40 (I was 41--almost 42) should never be given clomid. Some clinics say they haven't heard of such a thing; some say they have. Regardless, I've found stuff online that confirms that I shouldn't have been given it AND the way my body reacted was enough evidence for me. Also, New Hope is supposed to be drug free, but they really wanted to give me the clomid, so I wound up not going through with the natural cycle IVF.
The point is that there may be clinics where you guys live that also do IVF. New Hope has made a "thing" out of it, meaning that they really focus their marketing on women with high FSH levels. The other doctors I've found here are much quieter about it and also do regular IVF, so it might be worth asking around, if you're really interested in trying it.
Finally, I believe that these doctors are full of sh**! If your FSH is higher, it likely means that your ovaries aren't AS responsive as they once were, but it doesn't mean that you're not still ovulating. They kept telling me how older eggs are harder to penetrate, blah blah blah. I swear, the more dismal and negative they could be, the happier they were. They're sadists. I got so fed up with all their crap and all the appointments that I stopped going to them. I bought the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and was sure to have intercourse when it said to and, shock of shocks, I found myself pregnant in October. Yes, miscarriage. But my old, hard eggs were penetrable and able to implant (I had implantation bleeding). This was after being told repeatedly that I had only a 1% chance of ever conceiving.
With the miscarriage, a stupid high-risk OB/GYN gave me a pap (which I've since learned is NEVER supposed to be given during a miscarriage) and, as a result, my two healthy, open tubes wound up blocked! (Left one completely; right one very). I went from having a hormone issue that presented obstacles but I still had hope to having a mechanical issue that presented ZERO hope. My RE told me that barring a miracle I would never get pregnant again. Well, 2 cycles later, I wound up pregnant AGAIN. This is at 43, with high FSH and with 2 blocked tubes!! The pregnancy was ectopic (because how can an egg make it through the tube?) and ended in miscarriage, and I am angry beyond belief about my tubes, but my point to all of you is that if you're ovulating, you CAN get pregnant. I wouldn't even check my FSH levels anymore. What for? What good does it do? Women get pregnant with high FSH levels all the time. So why show it to the REs and have them bash you around some more? I personally have two friends who ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant in their 40s and I have two others that ONLY got pregnant once they stopped all the fertility treatments and focused instead on their diet, acupuncture and Chinese herbs. I know it might not happen for you, but maybe it will! As long as you're still ovulating, there IS still hope! Really, there is. My coworker has a friend who went through everything we are in her late 30s and early 40s. After no avail, she and her husband gave up and accepted that they would be childless. In her late 40s, she started going through menopause and then at 49, she found out that she was pregnant!! Naturally and accidentally! They decided to keep the baby and she gave birth at 50!!!!! They now have a 4-year-old, healthy, happy daughter! So please keep that in mind.
Finally, gluten. There are tons of gluten-free flours and recipes out there. I was eating gluten free after my first pregnancy b/c I wanted to do everything to get my body into tip-top shape since I finally believed that I actually could got pregnant. Once I found out that both my tubes had become blocked, I returned to my not-so-healthy ways of eating. But it can be done. There are even gluten-free foods at health food stores, if you don't feel like cooking yourself and, here in NYC, there are gluten-free bakeries.
Anyway, that's my rant/pep talk. I'm rarely on here these days due to being incredibly busy, but I do periodically pop in. And I wish you all tons of luck--as long as you're ovulating there IS still hope!
Breezy
I don't even want to begin my rant because it would go on for 3 days, but I want to let you all know that I COMPLETELY identify with everything you're saying and I feel your pain, anger and frustration!!
I also want to say that there are several clinics here in NYC that do natural cycle IVF, which I knew nothing about for more than a year of trying because the "big" clinics told me over and over that my ONLY option was donor egg due to my high FSH (around 20 at that time). I learned about New Hope Fertility Clinic (the one to which you're referring, alikat) from an acupuncturist, but I've since learned about 3 more here that do the same thing. In fact, I went to New Hope, and was ready to move forward but then they wanted to give me clomid, which I REFUSE to take since the one and only time I did take it, I wound up bleeding on and off for a month (it was like getting my period three times in one month). After that, I was told my a different big fertility clinic and two acupuncturists that women over 40 (I was 41--almost 42) should never be given clomid. Some clinics say they haven't heard of such a thing; some say they have. Regardless, I've found stuff online that confirms that I shouldn't have been given it AND the way my body reacted was enough evidence for me. Also, New Hope is supposed to be drug free, but they really wanted to give me the clomid, so I wound up not going through with the natural cycle IVF.
The point is that there may be clinics where you guys live that also do IVF. New Hope has made a "thing" out of it, meaning that they really focus their marketing on women with high FSH levels. The other doctors I've found here are much quieter about it and also do regular IVF, so it might be worth asking around, if you're really interested in trying it.
Finally, I believe that these doctors are full of sh**! If your FSH is higher, it likely means that your ovaries aren't AS responsive as they once were, but it doesn't mean that you're not still ovulating. They kept telling me how older eggs are harder to penetrate, blah blah blah. I swear, the more dismal and negative they could be, the happier they were. They're sadists. I got so fed up with all their crap and all the appointments that I stopped going to them. I bought the Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor and was sure to have intercourse when it said to and, shock of shocks, I found myself pregnant in October. Yes, miscarriage. But my old, hard eggs were penetrable and able to implant (I had implantation bleeding). This was after being told repeatedly that I had only a 1% chance of ever conceiving.
With the miscarriage, a stupid high-risk OB/GYN gave me a pap (which I've since learned is NEVER supposed to be given during a miscarriage) and, as a result, my two healthy, open tubes wound up blocked! (Left one completely; right one very). I went from having a hormone issue that presented obstacles but I still had hope to having a mechanical issue that presented ZERO hope. My RE told me that barring a miracle I would never get pregnant again. Well, 2 cycles later, I wound up pregnant AGAIN. This is at 43, with high FSH and with 2 blocked tubes!! The pregnancy was ectopic (because how can an egg make it through the tube?) and ended in miscarriage, and I am angry beyond belief about my tubes, but my point to all of you is that if you're ovulating, you CAN get pregnant. I wouldn't even check my FSH levels anymore. What for? What good does it do? Women get pregnant with high FSH levels all the time. So why show it to the REs and have them bash you around some more? I personally have two friends who ACCIDENTALLY got pregnant in their 40s and I have two others that ONLY got pregnant once they stopped all the fertility treatments and focused instead on their diet, acupuncture and Chinese herbs. I know it might not happen for you, but maybe it will! As long as you're still ovulating, there IS still hope! Really, there is. My coworker has a friend who went through everything we are in her late 30s and early 40s. After no avail, she and her husband gave up and accepted that they would be childless. In her late 40s, she started going through menopause and then at 49, she found out that she was pregnant!! Naturally and accidentally! They decided to keep the baby and she gave birth at 50!!!!! They now have a 4-year-old, healthy, happy daughter! So please keep that in mind.
Finally, gluten. There are tons of gluten-free flours and recipes out there. I was eating gluten free after my first pregnancy b/c I wanted to do everything to get my body into tip-top shape since I finally believed that I actually could got pregnant. Once I found out that both my tubes had become blocked, I returned to my not-so-healthy ways of eating. But it can be done. There are even gluten-free foods at health food stores, if you don't feel like cooking yourself and, here in NYC, there are gluten-free bakeries.
Anyway, that's my rant/pep talk. I'm rarely on here these days due to being incredibly busy, but I do periodically pop in. And I wish you all tons of luck--as long as you're ovulating there IS still hope!
Breezy
I totally agree about the gluten! :-) I've done it three separate times and it's never been easy. Didn't stick to it more than a few months either (yet). But I actually have a family history of celiac disease, so giving up gluten has at this point finally become a necessity. I have noticed that my digestion is way better when I'm off gluten, so that's enough reason there for me to do it. I have yet to see if there will be fertility/miscarriage benefits. Will keep you posted!
Good that you at least tried the DHEA. Too bad it wasn't more effective. But at least you know you gave it a try! We'll all just keep trying whatever we can and not give up! My theory...I don't think it's ever completely hopeless until we hit actual menopause!
This group has been a real Godsend! All 40+ ladies TTC and supporting each other. It does help so much through our difficult struggle!
:) Sherri
Good that you at least tried the DHEA. Too bad it wasn't more effective. But at least you know you gave it a try! We'll all just keep trying whatever we can and not give up! My theory...I don't think it's ever completely hopeless until we hit actual menopause!
This group has been a real Godsend! All 40+ ladies TTC and supporting each other. It does help so much through our difficult struggle!
:) Sherri
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