preg 16yr old rape victim - SCARED AND CONFUSED! HELP PLEASE?

[Fallen1991Angel]

I am 16 years old, 17 this February.  I was raped on the beach at night on November 3, and I am pregnant as a result of it.  My family does not know yet (I want a good Christmas before I tell them...) Now when I am home alone when it is dark, I get these almost panic attacks when I am not in my room.  I have all the doors locked (checked once after I locked them), lights are on.  When I am in the open, I freak out.  My heart starts racing, my asthma acts up, and I start to shake.  It only stops when I go into my room and lock my door and double check my windows and draw the shades.  Is it typical to have new fears while pregnant, or is this something like PTSD?  I am scared, and lost...

[hartmens_gurl]

im so sorry you lost your babie im 16 too,and have a secret as well that i will someday tell my parents. but not eny time soon!! me ,and my friend read your story,and it hit close to home becuase,both me and her have been used by our ex- boyfriends. i really hope that your ok,and alway remember that you always no matter wat time or day it is you have me to talk 2.so take good care,and take one day at a time.talk to you later ok.

[Fallen1991Angel]

Thank you.  I am going to talk with my parents someday, but for now...  Well, the shame and guilt and everything else overpowers my will to tell my parents.  Someday I will come clean and tell them, but for now I am putting my trust in God and just asking for His strength and for cleansing.  May God Bless You as well.

[loyalty]

first of all i'm soooo sry of wut happened to u....this z so wild i wanna know y these things still happens in these days.....anyway u have to tell ur parents becouse at the end they will now evrything when the time comes to put ur baby....and maybe they can make somthing that will help becouse thay nows wut z the best for u...believe me they won't be mad but sure they will be sad nd sry for wut happened....btw i'm agirl from the middle east and alot of this happens evryday but they tell their parents emediatly n the time they know that this z a shame in our country but they tell someone becouse they believe that the person who did this wild thing have to be faced and stop to not let him do the same thing to another girl....
nd about ur fears nd wut u feel t's normal becouse any girl n ur situation couldn't stand and walk to her home nd couldn't try to find a solution...lsn baby u have to go to a doctor maybe something bad will happen so u have to be careful....u have to be tough and face ur parents and try to do the best u can to not let sthg bad happen t's ur body nd u r young to b pregnant by this wild way to go nd tell ur parents they are the only one who gonna help.....god bless u and b careful....

[ananamas]

sorry kiddo..good luck with everything.

[Fallen1991Angel]

I went to the doctor earlier today, and he confirmed what i thought...  I sat there for near an hour crying my eyes out...

physically I'm ok, just achy.  i think it'll be a while before i get over this emotionally though...  ugh...

[April2]

FallenAngel, you must get yourself to a doctor now! If you are indeed miscarrying, they will need to moniter you. There's so many things that could go wrong. You could bleed to death or get an infection if anything is left inside. You must go to the doctors and let them check you out. They may need to do a D & C or something. At least moniter you.
Please go to the ER and let us know how you are doing, ok?
Take care of yourself.

[Fallen1991Angel]

I've got bad news.  I fell down the stairs Sunday night and yesterday, I started bleeding and my stomach hurt like hell.  Then something came out...  I was so scared...  Now I am still bleeding, but its bleeding like a period...  I think i lost the baby...  I feel terrible.  My entire body feels like its been put through the ringer, im nauseous, and tired...  ugh.  not to mention the fact that i was just getting used to the idea of being pregnant, and i was loving it... now...

[Fallen1991Angel]

i never thought of that.  i will do some research on it...  thank you

[ananamas]

First off i want to stay im terribly sorry you're going through this. here's some info you might by a bit interested in. Hypnosis has been proven to basically improve memory and even help people remember times from way back in their past. For example, the Lindenbergh baby that was kidnapped was able to remember the sex of the person who took him, and how they took them out of the house. He did this through 112 hours of hypnosis and whatnot, so maybe you would be interested in researching and attempting this so you can try to remember that night, as painful as it might be to remember it the gain may end up being far greater than the pain you would get from it. sorry again and good luck!

[Fallen1991Angel]

Yeah, I have been told to try to remember.  Everytime I try to think of any identifying feature, it just comes up blank.  Believe me, I have tried.  I'm going to tell my family soon, I just sometimes get a little anxious about telling them...  I know it's not my fault, but sometimes the guilt flares up anyway.  I mean, sometimes my mind just says "this is what you get for every wrong you've done".  And I know not to believe it, but sometimes it keeps repeating it and it hits a little too close to home.  ::sighs::  But I'm trying to work past that...  Anywho, I need sleep now, so thank you for your advice.  Nite!

[melissa_123]

im so sorry this happened to you. My heart goes out to you. If you need someone to talk to, im here. =)

[melissa_123]

I would definetly try to remember what the guy looked like to press charges. What he did to you was unbearable. By the way, tell your family right away. It was not your fault, and you and your family both can find out what to do. Just remember, you didn't ask for this.

[Fallen1991Angel]

thank you.  i will.

[April2]

Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. Your true friends and loved ones will stand by you and they're all that matters. You need to take this one step at a time and talk to your parents and talk to someone in crisis counseling. I wish you the best. Stay in touch, ok? I care.  ((((Hugs!))))

[Fallen1991Angel]

I don't know who it was.  I was alone on the beach walking my dog, and the man had a ski mask on, so i couldn't see his face.  i don't remember any distinguishing features...  i was too shocked...  so i have no clue who did this to me...

i took a home pregnancy test that read positive.  i have been taking prenatal vitamins.

i did my research paper on abortion, and after that i could never have one.  and i have friend who have been adopted or are in foster care...  i wouldn't put my own flesh and blood through that, even if the circumstances surrounding his or her birth aren't ideal.  it's not the baby's fault it is the product of crime...

i am going to call a hotline for help, and i will probably talk to my school guidance counselor - or at least try to...  i have told a few of my friends about the basics of what happened:  that dad had me go walk the dog and i was attacked and couldn't see my attacker's face, but i am too ashamed to tell all the details to them...  i know it's not my fault, but i can't help but to feel that i did something to deserve it...



i'm scared out of my mind... i am still a child myself...  how am i supposed to take care of one?  and i have barely any clue what to expect, even though i have a friend who went through this and had her baby on sept 11.  she helped a lot, but i am still lost.  the morning (psh, more like all-day and half-way-through-the-night) sickness sux, and the cravings are tolerable.  the mood swings are enough to drive me up a wall...    i just, idk, am lost...  there's so much i had planned for after high school...  i graduate from hs next year, and i was planning on going to unc chapel hill for nursing, but now i might have to put that on hold...  and i usually don't care what others think of me at school, but i can't help but to think that everyone will think, "surely the goody-goody-two-shoes, perfect-angel, never-does-wrong [fallen1991angel] isn't pregnant!  she must be a total s**t and w***e outside of school"...  idk...

thank you for caring...  

[April2]

Sweetie, this is not a reaction to a pregnancy. This is a reaction to the terrible trauma you had to endure. You should not be trying to deal with this all alone. It's too much for anyone to try and deal with alone. I think it's very admirable of you to want to wait until after Christmas to tell your folks so as to not spoil their Christmas but don't you think they'd want to know? You're their little girl. You need to talk to someone. You need counseling to deal with all of this. And you need to report this to the police. This person should not be allowed to be roaming the streets possibly preying on other young ladies. Did you know this person? Even if you did, it doesn't make it right or ok. Nobody has the right to take something from you that you did not willingly give.
Are you sure you're pregnant? You really need to be under a doctors' care as soon as possible too. Do you know what you're going to do? These decisions are awfully big for you to try to deal with on your own, plus trying to overcome the shock of the this violent act done to you. You really need to talk to your folks. You need them. And you need to get some professional counseling for awhile too so that you can return to living a normal life. There are women's abuse shelters that can help you if you call them. Please don't try to deal with this on your own. You have been incredibly brave so far but you need to get this out in the open or the panic attacks, fears, etc. will continue or get worse.

Stay in touch and let us know how you're doing, ok? I care. I'll be praying for you. Take care, Sweetie. God bless you.