So I am going to tell everyone on here everything since my identity is unidentifiable. Please read and listen to my story and give me you're honest opinions and advice.
So I now live alone with my dad because my mother left me, my brother, and my dad when i was around 1 or 2. I have always been a pretty good kid my dad is a good dad he gave us everything we wanted, me and my brother both are amazing hockey player (I'm not just saying that to brag) and my family is a good family, but there was always something missing to me, so i would rebel from time to time like any kid does.
As I got older around 15-17 thats when things started to change. My brother hung out with the wrong crowd and he started to do a lot of drugs and steal from home. From time to time over the year i would watch him get kicked out living in building staircases and police bringing him home. I would watch him get beat up from my dad almost on a daily basis. I watched him drop out of school, and ruin his life. When he was 17 thats when he left for good and we have never heard from him since, i don't know where he is or what he is doing right now. For all I know he could be dead. This really ****** me up over the past two years because I love my brother thats my best friend.
I know it messed up my whole family but they moved on and got over it, it really messed up my dad for a while and he learned to put on a happy face and go about his day for me because there was only us 2 left. Something about this really stuck with me. So about last year grade 10 I started to hang with the wrong crowd and they changed me, I mean, I wasn't totally bad, I still get good grades, I work at burger king and I do everything that I am told to do. But, from time to time i will go out to party's and do drugs and get totally waisted, it is peer pressure i guess, but a part of me does not care at all. I came home black out drunk throwing up everywhere not knowing what happened the night before 2 times and I know that I could have died but i do it anyways, I have never seen m dad so angry or so hurt before and I told him I would change but i didn't.
So a couple of days ago, I told him I was going out to the movies and I would be home by 10:00pm. I went out with a couple of friends and got so wasted that I couldn't move, I wouldn't wake up. They carried me home at 1:00am and I wouldn't stop throwing up. The next day my dad was so angry with me he beat me so bad I thought he was going to kill me i have so many bruises and black eyes. He keeps yelling at me like crazy and I'm scared to say in the house anymore. He keeps telling me to leave and I know that I probably will make these stupid mistakes again and I don't want to put him through this anymore. But i also know that it would kill him if I leave because I am all he has left.