i could be a father at age 16.... help ?

[needhelpplease47]

okay for the last month me and my girlfriend havent used a condom and have sex pretty often.. her period is coming up soon and im dreading if she misses it.. i just need some help cos i mean if she is pregnant me and her wouldnt get rid of it we couldnt cope with the guilt, it would just cause problems. i mean, is there anything i can do ? im just your average 16 yr old kid and ive hardly even started my real life i want to know what i cant do if she is pregnant, i know me and her brought it on ourselves and its our fault but we're just kids you know ? i need some advice for how i can support her, emotionally and physically and how to cope, and is it normal to be kinda excited? in a way we both are :/. Help please, i need it.
thanks

[heatherlynn22]

your welcome and good luck!

[needhelpplease47]

Thanks again :), hopefully this will all work out

[heatherlynn22]

if you guys are against abortion...don't do it. it could end up ruining your relationship. but if you really feel you have no other option....

raising a child is hard...but not impossible. my husbands mother was 16 when she got pregnant with him. she raised him on her own until he was 4 almost 5 years old when she met his now adopted dad. his father walked out on the shortly after he was born. they had a hard life. she had to work 2 jobs just to get by and he was tormented in school. they had to live in the "ghetto" and he was beaten before and after school everyday from kindergarten till second grade. but.....it's what made him who he is. he is an INCREDIBLE father and husband. and his mother.....a WONDERFUL woman who i love as my own mother. her and dad (his adopted dad) are great. so it will be hard but not impossible.

[needhelpplease47]

thanks again, weve been together a long time and talked about marriage and thats likely the way things are going, getting my own place is easy as i have a place i can live in bulgaria but thats a long way from england but, it does offer a full time job as a wakeboard and snowboard instructor or working at a hotel (parents own it) which is a great opportunity but im not ready for living there. She will happily get a job but me and her want to go college to get some more qualifacations, which is a problem in this situation. She will take a test this weekend so then ill find out the results and probably plan from there. also moving in with her is an option since her parents fostered for 15 years and they already want me to move in this summer since they have alot of free space since they stopped ( a whole floor to me and my girlfriend). But then it comes to taking care of the baby if we end up with one, i would put in full effort and commitment and im sure my mum and her mum would be greatly helpfull. but then again im only 16 and hardly ready, i would consider adoption but i know my girlfriend wouldnt put anyone through that since she was adopted and so was my nan and they are both against it.. but plan so far, pull out of college, get a full time job and work my socks and provide as much money as possible and getting the job ASAP as it would be good to have some money under my belt during the 9 months of pregnancy, that would give me a headstart, look into housing options and maybe look further into bulgaria, which at the moment does seem to much of a good idea and get alot of parental support as that could help me financially and with care of the child and maybe see a counciller to discuss the issues and such ill have, also taking care of my girlfriend through it all and make sure im totally supportive in every way possible. hopefully thats a game plan, ill also talk to her about abortion, i know me and her hate the idea of it but i guess it could be a lifesaver and help as have an easier and healthier relationship, especially for our age.

[heatherlynn22]

well....you could always talk about what if she's pregnant. to have some sort of plan. do you plan on marrying? getting your own place? will she get a job? should you start looking for another job? (a saturday job will NOT provide for a family....unless you make a few thousand dollars or pounds that day) insurance? the basics. or you could wait until she tests to see if she is even pregnant.

[needhelpplease47]

thanks loads for the advice, in a way i guess we are just being stupid and trying to get pregnant.. well ive finished school and have a couple more exams left and im on a saturday job that earns £65 for the day and i could easily get a job for during the week so money isnt too much of an issue, its just the fact neither of us are ready, i know a few people my age with kids and its tough for them, i also know alot of people who have been through abortions, and its ruined them. ive dug myself a hole so has my girlfriend.

anyway, thanks for the help its appreciated. any ideas on what i should talk to her about at this moment ? me and her are both pretty down at this whole situation.

thanks, its nice to have someone to talk to

[heatherlynn22]

are the 2 of you trying to get pregnant? are you in school? there isn't much you can do besides being there for her. if her period is late ask her to take an hpt.

if you're NOT trying to get pregnant i HIGHLY suggest b/c. condoms AND some form of pill/patch/shot. having a kid is NOT an easy thing. especially when you're 16. can the 2 of you support a baby? if not you may want to talk to your parents about options. getting a job, where you'll live, insurance for mom and baby and all the things baby will need.

if you've been having unprotected sex as much as you say then she has a very HIGH chance of being pregnant.