I soooo know where you are coming from - I found this place and started posting on the undiagnosed forum and found so many people who were so helpful and understanding and concerned enough to help me look for answers or push me in the right direction. I truly think this place saved my life. I was sick for three years - had every single test imaginable - and was losing my battle with the docs - trying to find something - anything that would cause me to feel that bad. Finally, one night, I had some neurological symptoms and I ended up in the ER - I knew that one of two things was going to happen that nite: (1) I was going to end up in the psychiatric ward OR (2) SOMEBODY was going to listen to me and help me. I sat on that bed and cried telling the ER doc about the last three years of my life. I told him if he thought that I was crazy to go ahead and lock me up.....he believed me and ordered a cartoid artery u/s based on my family's history with heart disease - and finally, we saw the tumor on the left.....I was afraid - but at the same time I was so RELIEVED...I mean, I finally knew what was wrong and I knew that it could be treated and that one day I would feel better. It gave me such hope - I cannot tell you how suicidal I was. I even had drug resistant depression because of this. I truly have gotten my life back. I want to scream to the mountain tops about how important it is to be proactive in your health care and not to stop - NO MATTER WHAT - until you have answers. There is always a reason behind everything that happens - I think the reason for my stuff was to help encourage others who are dealing with the same thing - I know I learned so much through all this. Life is precious - you only get one go round....and I am trying my best to make it the best I can. I don't want to have any regrets when I lay my head down and die, ya know? I am going back to school at 39 - in March - and determined to get my degree!
So, just want you to know that you are in a safe place - and a great place for support during all this. I am most certainly here if you need to let go. Be gentle with yourself and know that things will get easier...just be patient.....I know, easy to say - that is not one of my better virtues!
peace,
Charley
I know what you mean about feeling fortunate. I had a sister-in-law who passed away April 2006 from ovarian cancer. She was only 43, which is 3 years younger than me. She survived 14 months after diagnosis and went thru major He**. But the strength and positive energy she possessed is an inspiration to me. I swear I felt her presence in the pre-op room, along with my brother who passed away in June 2006, who was only 1 year older than me, and an another brother who passed away 2 years ago at age 64. Needless to say when my family is extremely worried about me right now. This is really strange for me because I so used to being really healthy and calling home to see how my family is doing heathwise because I live in Virginia and most of my family is in Illinois. I'm the 13th out of 14 kids my mom had. Being next to the youngest, I have siblings who are over 20 yrs older than me and in very poor health. Out of all our health issues (and trust me there are plenty!), I'm the first to be diagnosed with cancer (papillary with 8mm tumor on right side and 3 benign). It's still hard for me to believe, but I''ve got the double smile to prove it! This website has been what has saved my sanity through all the madness of having thyroid cancer. My family has been my rock also but everyone here at this website who's BTDT, is what has helped the most.