I am a 40 yr old woman. I have amazing mental motivation, creativity and amazing patients, most of the time. This is followed by a never ending lack to follow through on anything i create in my mind. I think in, what I describe as, circles, I get lost in my thoughts, I very frequently lose my place, I am easily distracted. I lose time all day long, almost like a blackout. I'm at work and the hours seem to pass me by like nothing and I look but have barely anything done in a 4 hour period, but it seems like only minutes have passed. I often have to regroup and figure out where I left off last. The people that I train to do what I do often work twice as fast as me with half the knowledge and a quarter of the effort.
This is completely frustrating and I feel so stupid. I get angry with myself and it affects my self esteem. I sometimes feel worthless. I have a hard time retaining information and I am often forgetful.My bills are never paid on time and I am very compulsive as far as spending. I can never save money or stick to a diet. I am always late and awful at managing time or remembering birthdays and social events. I am completely aware of these issues and work, to no avail, to stay on top of this awareness. I constantly organize and reorganize, make lists, plan my calender, all of which get shoved in a drawer amid another fit of trying to stay organized. This cycle of events is constant, just as my overwhelming feeling of being overwhelmed. Which again makes me feel unsuccessful and frustrated. I have been treated for depression but I believe my anxiety and frustration it is a side affect of having ADD and being undiagnosed. Also, because I believe I have ADD, I am always trying to stay organized so that I can function better and more smoothly. I don't believe I have ADHD, as I am not fidgeting, I can stay in my seat, wait my turn and not feel like I want to cut someone off with my thoughts. However that might just be me being aware and using my self taught self control.
My daughter is 20 and was diagnosed when she was in third grade. I took the test with her back then and knew "This was me" I failed 2nd grade and graduated a semester late. I'm unsure if I should see a psychologist, or psychiatrist. I have tried everything I could do to stay on track on my own and think it is time to seek help because I feel like I am starting to have panic attacks because I do not feel in control. Any thoughts...?