Aa
Keep the bby or abort ? Help !
I am going on 8 weeks pregnant in a couple of days. I already talked to my bbys father who doesnt want to be involved in the pregnancy or bbys life. I though he was going to b supportive but apparantly didnt happen like that. Im scared that my dad will want me out the house. I am also not in love with my bby since this wasnt planned at all. Should i consider abortion before im a little more ahead. ? Help please !
COMMUNITY LEADER
Yes. Mentioning the practical side of having a baby isn't to say you can't have one and take care of it but to be realistic about the things you need to plan for. I wasn't implying that you can't do it or shouldn't. But as a mother of two, there are things you have to figure out and be prepared for.
I agree with kitkat that you will need to really discuss with your mother and sister about babysitting as if they are of age to work, that is time that they could spend elsewhere bringing in a paycheck. If they are not, that is taking away from study time and free time or whatever else that they do while you are at school. Taking care of a baby is fun to me but also work and I guess I wouldn't take for granted that 'someone' will watch my child. Have you told your dad and mom yet as in one of your posts here---- you were fearful of them kicking you out. You've gone from that to them being in charge of the baby when you are away. So, you'll want to discuss these things thoroughly. Daycare is expensive. I have heard about some cheap cheap places although I don't know if I'd leave my child there. Those places are about 150 a week. You'll have to check in your area. And while you could nurse in the begining (and should really)---- at about 6 months, the baby starts to eat food food and you'll have to start buying baby food. I think the average cost of having a child just through the ob/gyn is about 2000 dollars. I had insurance so only paid a copay each visit of 20 dollars. Then there is the hospital cost---- I paid 10 percent of that. Babies go to the doctor for well checks every 3 months at least for the first 2 years. Probably after that, diapers were one of the biggest expenses. I supplemented with formula which adds up too. I liked baby clothes so spent some money on cute outfits. I was able to get a crib as a hand me down but had to buy car seats (the newborn one and then the one that goes after that that faces forward and then a booster seat after that), bassinet, bouncers, porta crib, etc. etc. etc. It sure isn't cheap to have a baby!! Whew-------- I honestly had no idea until I did. But plenty of folks do it on little and are fine. Just be prepared.
Probably the other thing you should think about is how your life will be. I've had very little free time to myself since I had kids. My husband and I get a date maybe once a month for 2 or 3 hours when I pay a babysitter. If your mom is watching your baby while you are at school, I'm sure she'll expect you to be with the baby at most other times. It definately ends the youth----------- as raising a child is serious business. You can't pick up and go when you want. You can't stay out with friends for hours. You want to talk on the phone to someone and the baby needs you and is crying. You'll spend your saturday at the park playing with your baby while your friends are hanging out. I love it!!! I absolutely love it. And you may too. But just wanted to mention these things to you to think about.
Anyway, I again feel that you are right------------ all things are possible. You just have to plan for it to make it so. good luck to you.
I agree with kitkat that you will need to really discuss with your mother and sister about babysitting as if they are of age to work, that is time that they could spend elsewhere bringing in a paycheck. If they are not, that is taking away from study time and free time or whatever else that they do while you are at school. Taking care of a baby is fun to me but also work and I guess I wouldn't take for granted that 'someone' will watch my child. Have you told your dad and mom yet as in one of your posts here---- you were fearful of them kicking you out. You've gone from that to them being in charge of the baby when you are away. So, you'll want to discuss these things thoroughly. Daycare is expensive. I have heard about some cheap cheap places although I don't know if I'd leave my child there. Those places are about 150 a week. You'll have to check in your area. And while you could nurse in the begining (and should really)---- at about 6 months, the baby starts to eat food food and you'll have to start buying baby food. I think the average cost of having a child just through the ob/gyn is about 2000 dollars. I had insurance so only paid a copay each visit of 20 dollars. Then there is the hospital cost---- I paid 10 percent of that. Babies go to the doctor for well checks every 3 months at least for the first 2 years. Probably after that, diapers were one of the biggest expenses. I supplemented with formula which adds up too. I liked baby clothes so spent some money on cute outfits. I was able to get a crib as a hand me down but had to buy car seats (the newborn one and then the one that goes after that that faces forward and then a booster seat after that), bassinet, bouncers, porta crib, etc. etc. etc. It sure isn't cheap to have a baby!! Whew-------- I honestly had no idea until I did. But plenty of folks do it on little and are fine. Just be prepared.
Probably the other thing you should think about is how your life will be. I've had very little free time to myself since I had kids. My husband and I get a date maybe once a month for 2 or 3 hours when I pay a babysitter. If your mom is watching your baby while you are at school, I'm sure she'll expect you to be with the baby at most other times. It definately ends the youth----------- as raising a child is serious business. You can't pick up and go when you want. You can't stay out with friends for hours. You want to talk on the phone to someone and the baby needs you and is crying. You'll spend your saturday at the park playing with your baby while your friends are hanging out. I love it!!! I absolutely love it. And you may too. But just wanted to mention these things to you to think about.
Anyway, I again feel that you are right------------ all things are possible. You just have to plan for it to make it so. good luck to you.
It's good you're thinking about it and sort of planning, but you know you can't rely on child support right? It can also take a while, and a lot of stress to get all that sorted before you start receiving payments. Just because he has a good paying job like you say, doesn't mean you will a lot of money from child support. It depends on other factors too. Are you sure your mum or sister will be able to watch the baby every day when you're at school? Don't they work or have their own lives to lead? And day is so expensive, it's shocking how expensive day care is. You'll also need a stroller, car seat, crib, clothes, wipes, diapers, money for medical bills etc, formula if you're not breast feeding, bottles, towels, bath/wash products etc. It is very expensive. You're right that it's never impossible, but it can be extremely difficult - even a married couple who earn money find it hard because of the expense of everything that they're not used to having to pay for.
@specialmom. Im sure my Mom or sis can watch the bby while im at school if not theres plenty day cares i can bring him to. And diapers and other needs will obiously be provided off child support so it wont be much of a problem since my bbys dad has a very good paying job. Everything can be done its never impossible !
COMMUNITY LEADER
Okay. well, it is never too early to plan. Who's going to watch the baby while you are at school or work. How are you going to pay for all baby needs (diapers, clothes, etc.). All those details that one must consider when raising a child. I too had to think it all out before giving birth so that I had a plan in place. If you are going to keep the child and raise it, then start saving every penny you make, come up with a plan to get through school and set yourself up for the type of job that leaves you completely financially independent. All of that good stuff that a mom has to do. good luck
Thats good news :) Glad u made the decision for your self dont forget your prenatal vitamins and to drink plenty of water :)
i wish u a happy and healthy nine months
i wish u a happy and healthy nine months
Thankrg a lot to all of you for your opinions and trying to help i really appreciate. I think i am just gonna go on keeping it. I always wanted a family maybe thats what confused me the most since i wont provide a father for him or her. I never believed im abortion and idk what the heck im thinking now, i feel like i need to really slap myself for this. I just wishd everything would happen different and wouldve been able to provide love frm both parents to my child. It just really starting to get to me and breaks my heart dearly how all is happening a whole different way. I just hope everything goes well this pregnancy and dont have to go through such thing again. Im afraid, really afraid ! Thanks all for the advice. I have my appt next Tuesday and decided to keep him, i say him since i have a feeling its gona be a boy. Im so excited to see that my baby is doing good and hoping for the best.
You are reading content posted in the Women's Choice Community
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
Normal vaginal discharge varies in color, smell, texture and amount.
Bumps in the genital area might be STDs, but are usually not serious.
Chlamydia, an STI, often has no symptoms, but must be treated.
From skin changes to weight loss to unusual bleeding, here are 15 cancer warning signs that women tend to ignore.
