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Avatar universal

Had a baby 5weeks ago and had a positive test

Hi Ladies, its been a while since I have been here. I had my baby on 06/05/06 and unfortunately he died that night.  He was born healthy but well its a long story.... the nicu did something and we have an attorney.  Anyways, my question is we have been having unprotected sex since 3 days after having the baby. I took a pregnancy test last week and it was negative and then I took another one yesterday and there was a very very faint line and you can see it in the sunlight as well.  I took another today but didn't do it with first morning urine and it was negative.  I am going to try again tomorrow.  Has this ever happened to anyone and they got preggers? My dr told me it was impossible to get pregnant within the 6wks after giving birth.  I stopped bleeding 3wks after I had him for a week then I bled 2-3 days with a light period and now I have stopped bleeding completely.  Any suggestions would be great.  I know this sounds bad but I am hoping to be preggers.
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Avatar universal
I am sorry to hear about that.  Good Luck with everything!
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Avatar universal
Sorry about your loss. But it is possible to fall preggy in the first 6 weeks. I did and so did my sister she was 4 weeks and I was 5 weeks. So it does happen.
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Avatar universal
I remember you posting a while ago.  I'm so very sorry to hear of the death of your child.

Is it too painful to share the story?  You said the baby (was it a boy or girl) was healthy but the nicu did something wrong?  If he was healthy why did he have to go to the nicu? I'm sorry and disregard this post if you don't want to dredge up painful memories but maybe there is something we can all learn by your sharing.  Best of luck to you in your efforts to have another baby.
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i fell pregnant with my second dd when my first was 6 weeks old i was breast feeding and on the mini pill i reckon anything is possible i am sorry to hear about your loss good luck to you.
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Thank you. I suppose then we could be pregnant then. We have been bd every day since 06/07/06.
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i hope so best of luck let us all no what happens one thing i do no is that you are really fertile after giving birth good luck.
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It is possible. My friend had about 5 miscarriages. When she finally managed to get pregnant, she had a girl and nine months later, she had another girl. I am sorry for your loss to. I hope everything works out for you. I do agree with the post above about waiting and giving your body time to heal but if you are pregnant, then like I said before, I hope everything works out for you.
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I have heard it could take up to 6 weeks for all traces of the HCG harmone to be clear of your system. I think you should talk to your DR. and see what they suggest....
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Avatar universal
hi, im sorry for ur loss, im not sure how long hcg stays in ur system after giving birth but im sure if u took a test a line came up (faint or not) u might be pregnant as long as it was in the alloted time plus i think ur more fertile after giving birth to for a while. take anothere test in a weeks time and c what happens - give the hcg time to bulid up and give u a accurate result.
good luck xx
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry for your loss.

You definately should not have been having sex immediately after the birth.  Your cervix is still quite open, you are bleeding, and the uterine surface is raw and open.  You would be quite susceptible to infection.  If you had a vag delivery, you risked tearing the swollen, fragile vaginal walls.  If you had a C/S, you will risk a pregnancy with a weak scar that is not at all healed.  
Most doctors realize you won't wait the full six weeks afterwards, and feel it's ok to have sex once the bleeding stops.  You would ovulate about 2-4 weeks after delivery, so it is possible to get pregnant before 6 weeks.  
You could have had some residual HCG in your system from your recent delivery.  You should follow your doctors advice about what to do from here.  

You've got to be one of the few people I've ever heard of who has sex that soon after a delivery, let alone after a tragic and very unexpected, devastating, horrifying loss.  It's important to do the work of grieving and resolving feelings of anger, despair, and sadness before jumping right back in.  You also need to heal physically or risk complications with the next delivery.  To each his own, I suppose.  My condolences.
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Avatar universal
I have known of many women who had babies only 10 months apart. It is not extremely common, but it is certainly NOT impossible like you Dr. said. Wishing the best for you.
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139902 tn?1189755822
I am so sorry for you loss, how terribly sad.

I think it's possible to get pregnant, but like whoisthis said, you should give your body a little time to heal.
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Avatar universal
Oh my - Is anyone reading the same post as me???  I can't say how this person is feeling but the wording in the post really sounds like she is not as distraught as she should be for just losing a baby - I mean "unfortunuatly he died last - anyway long story but" and then to say "I really would like to be preggers".  That is not exactly the termanolgy I would think one would use after just losing a baby - I mean this is not a post that is meant to be rude, I understand this person may grieve differently but it just does not sound sincere.  I had a miscarriage and was distraut.  I wanted to talk to ANYONE that would listen and tell my whole story whether it was long or not.  I am sorry for your loss and I hope you can get pregnant soon.  Good Luck to you.

p.s. Like others have said - You really should give your body some time to heal physically and emotionally.
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Avatar universal
If he was perfectly healthy why was he in nicu? i agree. You should give your body more time. Good luck.
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Avatar universal
i think from memory the baby was early she was due way after me and my bubby is nearly 4 weeks old now.
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Avatar universal
My baby boy Johnathan Andrew was born at 32 weeks.  As a precautionary they put him in the nicu.  The wrong dosage of medications were given and they treated him for an infection that he did not have.  
Some have said I am not dealing with the grieving properly.  I cannot tell anyone of you what it feels like to give birth to a baby that morning and to have to sit there and hold him until he died at 11:40pm that same night.  Your heart feels as though you are dying inside yourself.  You feel emptiness and sorrow for a long time.  I still cry every night but I have to be able to move on.  Perhaps peopple think that I should still be crying all day and night but when I did that I was more depressed and wished I had died instead of him.  There are many unanswered questions on his death because the autopsy shows there was nothing wrong with him and the clinical notes are inconsistant with the autopsy.
Now yes we did have sex only 3 days after he was gone. I needed the comfort and the affection. I was told it was okay as long as we were careful. I think that everyone is different with their grieving and those of you who have not lost a baby whom was born healthy with no reason except that things went wrong with the medical staff please do not judge me.  I never came here to be judge, I just wanted to know if anyone else got pregnant. Do I want to be pregnant? Yes I do because you have no idea how empty you feel.  I know it won't replace him and nothing ever will,but maybe it will fill the emptiness.
Thanks for the responses that everyone has given. I will f/u with my dr next week when I go for an appt.
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93654 tn?1247499334
I am so very sorry for your loss, and cannot imagine what you've been through. I hope your bf/dh is your rock right now. Did you two get married? I remember yall had some rough patches around New Year's, that's why I asked.

Again, I'm sorry...grieve in whatever way works for you, just don't compromise your health. Good luck to you.
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Avatar universal
No we did not marry but we are still together.  He has been staying with me every night since the passing of our son.  He too is grieving so we seem to be grieving together and we have been able to talk about it.  Sometimes he doesn't want to talk about it, but thats okay cause I feel the same way some days.  Its easier to talk about it now than it was 3 weeks ago. If anyone even mentioned it I would start crying.
I am glad he is there for me because if he wasn't I think I would have gone crazy. That was how I was feeling the first couple of days. You feel like you should have been able to do something to have stopped it, but I wasn't able to get to the NICU until 6 hours after he was born because the epidural did not wear off until then.  They gave me more meds and it was too late cause he was born before they kicked in and then all I could do is wait there until it wore off.  So part of me wishes if I was there maybe it would have never happened. But I can't continue to think about the what if's anymore because that too will drive you crazy.
Thanks for asking.
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93654 tn?1247499334
I just can't even imagine. I went through the "what if's" with my m/c and ectopic, but I really don't think they even compare here. I'm glad he's supporting you and that you have each other. Have you considered going to grief counseling? It can be helpful when those "what if" questions start gettting to you. Just something to consider.
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Avatar universal
hey everyone my baby was born just 7 months ago and i had the normal bleeding afterwards. which i know isnt considered a real period. that lasted for about a month then i was expecting my real period to come and it has yet to start ive looked online and it said my body may take longer to heal but that was about 3 months ago. im worried! im pretty sure im not pregnant because ive been really stand back ish when it comes to sex with my man. any suggestions on what else could be wrong???
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Avatar universal
Hey, didn't you say that you lived in Tucson? What hospital did you have him?  My son was born at 36 1/2 weeks, but I was in labor a couple of weeks b4 that and had to get a few shots and be home bound b4 dr. said it was ok. She told me then that Caucasion, baby boys born b4 36 weeks tend to have some real issues, she did not know why, but said that has held true for her patients.  Sorry to hear of your loss, just don't know how awful that would be.  I don't even want my children to die when I am 80 let alone the day they were born. God bless you and comfort you in this time of healing.
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Avatar universal
I'm sorry if my comments or anyone elses made you feel worse.  You weren't clear in your initial post as to what happened, just that you had a healthy baby who died a few hours later in the NICU.  That's what may have led people to misunderstand and to be shocked.  I am very sorry for your loss.

All preterm infants are presumtively treated for infection, whether they have one or not.  That's because if they wait for signs of infection to surface (as they often do in preemies) the results can be overwhelming and devastatingly hard to manage.  So if I'm understanding what you say, that may be why he was treated for "an infection he didn't have".
And as another poster mentioned, caucasion male preemies are statistically more likely to have a complicated and serious course and a higher mortality rate.  Not that this fact gives you any comfort if he was given the wrong medication, but any preemie is a great risk of morbidity and mortality.  Most 32 weekers survive.  Sometimes despite all best efforts, they do not.
Again, not knowing what medication was given or any other specifics I couldn't give any thoughts on what might or might not have happened.  The care of a "healthy" 32 weeker is fairly straightforward, so I don't know if there was any complicating factors such as birth trauma, C/S or vag del, breech or vertex, hemorrhage, prolonged rupture of membranes, fever, positive GBS, maternal medications given during labor or birth, a cerebral bleed, RDS, renal failure, pneumothorax, NEC or any of a host of other problems that threaten a preemie.

I wish you the best in your efforts to recover.  Its a long hard road that takes a lot of emotional work.  



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Avatar universal
I am so sorry - Like I said my last post was NOT to be rude by any means - I understand you may grieve differently and maybe it was hard for you to talk about it.  I really do hope you can get pg again soon - I know when I had my m/c that was all I could think about, was getting pg again - and even though it does not take the pain away completely it does help.  You have a place that you can go to to remember your little one - With a miscarriage all you have are the few precious memories of a few weeks or so.  I do hope all works out for you and your husband.  Good Luck to you and again I am so sorry about my last post - I did not want to upset you in any way (((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))
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Avatar universal
To boycrazy- My son was born at UMC hospital I would have to say a hospital I would never go to again.  They treated my son for a heart condition he never had.  They gave him high doses of diplomine which is a fast acting drug and they gave him too high of a dose.  I sat there and watch my sons heart stop beating as they gave him other meds to counter act that med. He came back to life but they still insisted his heart was not working.  After an extensive autopsy was done they found no reason on why my son should have died.  The dr who did the autopsy was the one who said I should hire an attorney because he had just did an autopsy on another baby the day prior with a med error as well. He said he couldn't give me any information on that family or what exactly the baby had but that I too should look into the medical staff.  What this is going to do for me I don't know but perhaps it will help the next little angel they should do this too.  My grieving comes with great anger now because I thought the autopsy was going to bring some closure when its only opened more doors to the "what if's." Everyday I think to myself why wasn't I there for him and what if I was. But I can't think that way because I cannot undo what has happened.  He will always be a memory in my life and no one can take that away from me.  Although I still feel emptiness.
To blondie- I know you werent being mean. I just wanted it to be known perhaps what I typed the first time didnt sound appropriate but I hate retelling the story over and over because I have nightmares everynight of that night and it hurts me to relive that night in my mind each day.  Each time I think about it, my heart feels like it is literally breaking over and over again in me. I had so many hopes and dreams for him and I know his dad was looking forward to seeing him and I made some choices when he was dying that have hurt people for my selfishness and because I didn't want people to see me at the lowest point of my life and crying as hard as I was I chose for no one to be there except for my friend who was there for his birth.  My bf had to be at work and there was no one to replace him.  He was going to be at the hospital right after work and I took it upon myself to tell him I did not want him there. I thought if he didn't see him he wouldn't hurt as bad as I was hurting and going to hurt. Had I known his true feelings on the situation I wouldn't have done that.  I personally didn't think he cared enough for me or the baby at the time because he didn't come when he was born. But I didn't know he couldn't be there because there was no one else to cover him.  I wish someone had told me. But when things are happening so fast you don't think in your right mind and you make choices you wished you hadn't. I have cried with him apologizing over and over for my selfishness.  But he says he is not angry with me and that I need to focus on grieving Johnathan so that we can move forward.  So I am thankful he has been there for me because if he hadn't I really don't think I would be where I am now. I still run into people that saw me when I was pregnant and I feel embarrassed and I feel guilt when I tell them he died.  They don't know what to say to me and they usually say good-bye then too. So many people avoid me now instead of asking questions.  I would rather answer their questions than them ignoring me.
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