I'm so sorry for your loss i too have had to go through this at 23 weeks went for a routine u/s and found that my son had died i had to give birth to him and it has to be the most painful thing any one has to go through they could not tell me what went wrong i still do not know to this day why he died when i read your post it brought me to tears im so sorry that you have had to go through this in time the pain of losing the baby will ease will never leave you but you will learn to cope as for your other question if you are in a lot of discomfort i would talk to your Dr to see if they could give you anything to stop the milk but i too had to go through that as well once again i cant say how sorry iam for you and your husband i wish you well in future take care and god bless
I also had a pregnancy loss at 20 weeks but mine was due to placental abruption. I also had my milk come in after the loss and unfortunately you just have to wait it out. Don't squeeze them of try to express milk as it will just prolong the process. Wear a tight bra like a sportsbra and that will help the milk absorb more quickly. I was also told that cabbage leaves in your bra help. Don't ask me why but some swear by it. As for feeling better, it just takes time. I cried everyday for seven months until I became pregnant again and finally felt as if I had new hope. I now have two beautiful little girls but not a day goes by that I don't mourn the loss of my first little girl, it still kills me and probably always will. The only difference is that now I look at my two little ones and am so grateful for them. The time will come when you stop crying and redirect your focus. I wish it was easier than this but emotional healing takes much longer than physical. My thoughts and prayers are with you. My heart aches for you.
Thank you both so much for your comments. I wish I knew the sex of the baby. my husband told the doctor not to tell me he thinks it will be harder. I wanted this baby so badly you know. For the last 5 months every single second has been for the baby. I wasn't eating or very healthy when i got pregnant but I changed immediately for the baby's sake. Now I don't want to eat or sleep or breath and all I keep wanting is to hold my baby. I feel like my heart has been ripped out and destroyed. I have been reading about some other ladies getting pregnant again soon after there D&C so I have a small hope, but It will never take away the pain. I just keep thinking about all my ultra sounds when the baby was moving and waving its little arms. The last 4 weeks I drem't every day that the baby was dead, and I prayed It was just bad dreams. When i told my doctor before she put the ultra sound thing on me that I thought the baby was dead she smiled and told me not to worry, then when we didn't find a heartbeat her face drop t and she told me I couldn't possibly have known. I don't understand why I knew but I did. I kept telling everyone that something was wrong. It just all feels so unfair you know.
I was scared about the breasts because i didn't read on here about it happening to anyone else. How long did you both have it for do you remember?
Again thank you so much for replying it means the world to me.
My breasts were engorged for maybe a couple of days and then that awful hard feeling went away. It took quite some time for my milk to dry up completely though. It had been about three years since my loss so I don't remember exactly how long. I know how you feel though. It's like having your milk come in after a loss like this just adds insult to injury. Hang in there, the pain will eventually ease up a bit.
One other thing. I did not know the sex of my baby at the time of the loss for the same reason, they said it would be too difficult. At one of my follow up appointments when the nurse was going over the final report of what had happened she let the fact that I had a girl spill. I am glad that I now know as it also helps me. At the time when I found out it was a girl all I could do was cry but 7 months later when I was pregnant with another girl I truly fely like I had been given back what was taken away. If you want to know the sex the Doctor should have that info. but it is your choice and nobody elses. Maybe discuss it with your husband.
I don't have any advice to give you but I just wanted to tell you how terribly sorry I am for your loss. I had 2 m/c last year back to back and I was devistated. I couldn't imagine having to go through what you ladies have gone through. I am 25 weeks now and I pray every day that my baby boy will be healthy. Again, I'm so sorry for what all of you are going through
hi there well for me i had milk for about 6months i only noticed it when i went in the shower and the warm water made it come down but was not in any pain.the fullness and tenderness stopped at about 4 weeks after losing the baby and sweetheart its ok to feel how you are it takes time to heal its been 7 years since i lost my little angel and i still morn for him i see kids that would be his age and i get tears in my eyes, i have done this since it has happened i light a candle every august 4th to remember him it helps me, you said that the dr knows if it was a boy or girl well if you want to know i would ask for her to tell you i named my little guy Tristan and that helped with some closer it also made it easier to talk about with other people other than referring to the baby as baby i wish you well and if you ever need to talk just post on here im on nearly daily reading i do wish you well take care of yourself