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Women's Health: Postpartum Community
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Avatar universal

Need help! Freaking out.

I'm 17 and the guy I am with has recently turned violent and agressive, he was living with me but I have sent him back to his moms house 100 miles away. My boyfriend and I have been sleeping with each other usually protected (condoms) until' 5 weeks ago. I am now bleeding but was 3 and a half weeks late. It doesn't feel the same as my period would (as strange as that probably sounds). My moods are constantly changing and go from all extremes quickly. I feel different in myself. How likely is it I am pregnant? I havn't taken a test yet but am planning to as soon as possible.
6 Responses
Avatar universal
It could be that you are pregnant, but it also could be that you are stressed- which messes up a period. It's good you got the strength to send the guy packing, but be aware that men who are controlling, violet and aggressive, often go crazy at the thought of not having their gf and the rejection factor. A separation time is when these men do unimaginable things, including stalking, further or escalating violence, threats and to an extreme- severe harm or murder. It is really important that you are safe...so please make sure you have a good support system and that you are surrounded by others or protective measures. And, no matter what the results of the test are- don't go back with the guy or allow his pleas or "I'm so sorry" to convince you that he's changed. Chances are, if you did use protection properly, you are not pregnant but experiencing a missed period or late cycle. Do take a test though. And, if you are pregnant, you have even more cause for keeping you (and the baby safe). Your moods changing could be also chalked up to you sending him away and you probably feel a bit guilty about it and probably still do have feelings for the guy-that is normal. Again, though, don't take him back. Violence is a deal breaker in any relationship and it would only get worse if you continued living together, got married or had a child together. Good luck!! Take the test and then repeat it with a blood test if you are still uncertain and/or if you miss another cycle.
Avatar universal
Thankyou so much for the advice.
He became very controlling, walking me to my friends (they live 20-30 steps away)
After speaking to another friend one evening and closing the conversation he put a hole in my bedroom door as he couldn't read what I had typed, he later through a ps2 steering wheel at me hitting the wall. Other than this he has grabbed, pushed and pulled me.
I have no intention of letting him back, a friend of mine who is older with children has also been in an abusive relationship before now so she has helped alot.
I plan on doing a pregnancy test very soon but I too far out to get one for myself. Hopfully everything will sort itself out, whats meant to be will happen.
Thankyou again for your help
Love, Hugs, Peace and Smiles
Lauren x
Avatar universal
Glad to hear you are not letting him back. I know it is hard sometimes to cave and let the guy back when they do a lot of "It'll never happen again" or "I'm so sorry" but it is a vicious cycle. Glad to hear also that you have a friend who can help you out and give sound advice.  Let us know how the pregnancy test turns out. Most likely, based on what you have described, you should be safe and not pregnant. If you are, then make sure you take steps right away to gain custody of the child- could be a messy situation and obviously you and your child's safety and well being are the most important things here. Good luck!
Avatar universal
Still not been able to get a test..
The bleeding I mentioned in my first post lasted only a few hours (I wanted to see if I would bleed any futher giving it a few days, I havn't done) I'm really worrying that I am 4 weeks late for my period, unless that short bleeing was it :S    I'm not eating properly and by using the food tracker (if it genuinly works) last week I got 38.something of my calories.. I know that by not eating enough this can effect your menstral cycle (am I right there??) thing is I have been eating like this for months (since I put on a stone over summer as I was drinking heavily, working alot and running around therefore eating alot to get my energy levels up). My moods are changing alot but this could be due to the stress of everything? But I feel like I am so happy then within half an hourish my mood would plumit and I could be crying. I always feel sick and have a bad taste of it in my mouth (sick will come up but wont come out)
Should I be worrying?
My boyfriend and I had sex on numerous occasions unprotected, this was stupid but if I am pregnant I am very accepting of it and will do my best at raising a happy baby.
Avatar universal
You should probably get a test- get one online and get it mailed? Even the cheap urine strip tests work well. You can usually get them in sets of 10, 25 or 50 (you could take the cheapest set-10 tests are a lot of tests). I'd also consider seeing a doctor too- a blood test is very accurate. Usually you can find a pregnancy center or somewhere that you can get tested for free and confidentially. It is possible you are pregnant or that you are just stressed out. When stressed, though, it is very important to eat properly- that way you don't make decisions out of exhaustion. Plus, if you are pregnant, you really want to eat well- in the first weeks is when everything is being formed & developed. Anyway, try not to worry or stress until you know an answer one way or another.
Avatar universal
Thanks, I think I'll have to :)
I'll eat when I'm hungary but it doesn't seem to be often, I am having problems sleeping and will usually sleep between 5-6 hours a night falling asleep at about 4am. When it hits 10pm usually I am usually relaxed, alone and at home in a calm enviroment. I was taking nightnurse to help this and it was working but have stopped as it says not to use if taking a pregnancy test. What are the chances of the test being affected by this?
Thankyou for all your help :)
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