Masterbation - from a woman's perspective

[awkward]

Hi.  I have a few questions about masterbation from a woman's perspective.  Every post I've seen about masterbation has been from guys.  Do the effects of masterbation differ w/ men and women?  I've only masterbated twice in my whole life and I'm 19.  I don't think that's bad.  Actually I think it's quite good.  But anyway, I've been getting mixed feelings about masterbation.  Some say it's healthy, some say it's a health hazard.  Some say it's only addicitive if you do it 5-10 times per day others say even if you start off with a little bit you'll get addicted eventually.  

I'm just trying to find ways to relieve my sexual tension w/o hurting myself.  As of now I'm thinking about ruling masterbation out.  Sex is out cause I'm waiting until I'm married.  Is it true if you masterbate too much you'll lose sensitivity in your vagina?  Are the effects of masterbation the same for men and women or do they differ?

Thanks for your help.

[Fourpaws]

Masterbation is completely normal! Good for you that your waiting to have sex until marraige. Masterbation isn't going to make you lose sensitivity, it will only get you in tune to your body and you'll know what makes you feel good. The ony thing I have heard is when you use vibrators all the time, you can develope a tolerance to the vibration, but if your not using it everyday you'll be fine. I prefer doing it without the toy anyway.

[jociadam]

I would have to agree with Fourpaws.  Masterbation is completely normal and I've never seen any hard evidenct that it is harmful.  It will help you get in tune with your body and will help you have more pleasure once you do start having intercourse.  If you have sexual tension building, your heart starts beating faster, your blood pressure rises, among other things, so I can't imagine that those things would be all that healthy for you.  I say go ahead and maserbate.  You'll feel better.

[Dontneed2tell]

First of all, IMO, you're not a woman yet. 19 is still a teen. Legally you're an adult but that's just my opnion. I've always considered myself a "gir;" up until my 22nd or 23rd birthday. Now to what you're saying...masterbation is bad if it's done too much to where it effects your daily life in terms of your job, etc. Masterbation is bad if it starts to get sore  you know where (in the private areas/groin). Our culture thinks too much of sex because sex sells but it does not mean that masterbation doesn't have repercussions.

...Also if it involves dangerous tasks like in a bondage situation where the blood supply or breathing can be cut off.

[coolkid1996]

Well i am an 11 year old boy and i only masterbate like sometimes 4 times a week!!! at the most now i think to believe that masterbation is a ok but even a boys Penis gets sore sometimes and it really hurts but then it feels good after awile!!! and you should get a boy friend and have Sex if that is your hearts desire!

[aa27231]

I am 28, and I masterbate at less six time per week since 1994, and I feel good and sexually I feell more then before, but, i am suer that the adiction of masterbation has a bad sideeffects, cause having overdose of somthing even air could kill you.

[izzyroze]

if you want to masturbate then do so , and like all things do it in moderation . Those who do it all the time and say there addicted want to do it all the time its a fact.
Wanting to feel nice things with our bodies is natural and anyone who says its a health hazard are retarded and living in the dark ages.
Its good you want to old out for sex after marriage but rem that even if you wait it doesn't necessary mean your relationship will last forever. Why not have sex when you fall in love and take it one step at a time and take the pressure off of a future partner who you'll be telling no sorry we can not be close unless we are married. I have been with my partner for over 15 yrs and have three children and we are not married and are not bothered if we ever do so maybe think of love instead of a ceremony !!! . I also will add I have a regular sex life and maybe once a week i might do a little something for myself and I feel no guilt and no i am perfectcally normal .
So stop worrying and start living

[ddaisie00]

My apologies to those hoping for a response to the original question.... this is in response to a previous comment with a harsh/judemental tone.

I totally respect that you have a right to an opinion, however, strongly need to voice mine too.

The tone of your post is extremely 'right and wrong' with a 'yes or no' absolute type of tone.  Every person is different, so even if you believe something strongly for spiritual reasons (which some do, i'm not saying that you do) it's still a personal decision and not to be looked down upon because someone else chooses to live differently.

I don't know if your absolute tone is one of firmness in your personal value system or one of past hurt which has left a sour taste.  However, I can speak to your comments about bondage with the knowledge that all sexual acts are dangerous on some level.  As with anything that we choose to involve ourselves in (being a passenger in a car, getting our ears pierced, or even having dental work done) we're making decisions to let others have an impact on our physical being.  It's a decision we make, and should be an informed decision..... not to get in a car with someone who is irresponsible or has no training, not to let someone pierce our ear in the bathroom instead of having a professional do it, to seek a dentist who listens and will respect possible pain issues.  

Bondage (and all others aspects of a BDSM lifestyle) are the same way.  Yes, some couples can start to slowly learn things and introduce them into their lives.  However, one should NEVER jump into anything without first learning if their partner has training, is safe, has experience.  Those are things that should be discussed with any partner on ANY level.

[The_Don]

I'm a 20 year old woman and even when I'm in a relationship I masterbate at least once a day. As i'm currently not in one, I masterbate up to about 3 times a day!! I don't think it's unhealthy for the following reasons:-

1. It takes my mind off men and sex, which is a nice break and means I don't feel the need to sleep with just any guy.
2. I don't think about it when it's inconvenient. I only do it in my own home when I'm by myself and not busy.

Masterbation can become unhealthy but only if it's excessive, which is to say only when it becomes an obsession. But you've already done it twice and you don't sound like your that taken by the idea, so your unlikely to become addicted to it (judging on what sounds like a non-addictive personality). Think of masterbation like alcohol - it's ok to do as long as it doesn't affect your ability to live your life!!

And good on you for holding sex off until marriage!! I was only 19 when I started having sex and, tbh, it's overrated. You sound like an intelligent individual. Whenever you start having sex i'm sure it will be the right time for you, and I hope it will be special!!

[sexbeast]

i masterbate at least once a day. i am an 18 yr old girl, with a ton of raging hormones. but when my bf goes to work...(hold that thought) before he goes to work we have hard sex for 3 hours and then he goes to work. after he leaves i  have this sudden urge for a clitoris climax, so i get my viberating tulip out and put in on my clitorious. and let it go... while doing so i watch a little bit of porn hub and get off in like a min or two, and prepare myself for another round of hard sex when my man gets home. so i belive that if you keep your ***** ready all day long for your man he will love you.

[Divine4801]

To awkward: Thank you so much for asking this question. I'm 22 and I have been wondering about the same questions and didn't know where to ask them. So thanks for putting a voice to the issues at present.

As for the rest of these comments. Thank you for your answers they helped too. I really appreciate it.

[ntd420]

Masterbation is actually considered good for a girls clit. The more you have an orgasm the more sensitive the area will become (not to excess).  Think of it like a muscle, the more you work it out the stronger it will become.  

[aeron]

masterbation is very relaxing..

[uukzrz87]

Masterbation is, for those who do it everyday, definitely an addiction.
Try stopping and if you have a hard time...your addicted.
I'd say even once a week is an addiction.

Also; if you don't want sexual desires to run your life don't stir them.
Basically no sexual thoughts, no porn, no masterbation. Don't get to touchy with guys...be honest right from the start.

I think it's interesting to see a girl ask if it's ok.
What would you think if your future husband masterbated while looking at porn once a day minimum, up to say 15 times in one day...had seen millions of porn vids and had so many thoughts of other random bodies?
But had vowed not to have sex before mariage?
You might be sickened at the idea if your not an animal in the sentimental realm (sorry girls but if you masterbate all the time it's not love or respect you'll get from your man; it's desire but that's it).
Even I who am basically the guy cited above, abhor this practise, it disgusts me.

from a guy, 21. I've asked around and read random discussions like this one all the time. There are no specialists on this question:
even doctors are biased in favor of a set of values or another.
If you strive for purity: don't masterbate.
You make me happy, a girl that doesn't want to be a human-dog hybred's so rare; it gives me hope to find a wonderfull wife some day although I don't think I'd meet her standards.
Take care ;)

[Do_Or_Die]

OMG! Masturbating it awsome..It is in NO way harmful for your body, internally.. maybe a few sores from time to time.. but that's because some people get  carried away. I am a 21 year old woman... and I masterbate almost 5-6 times a day.. and I am sexually active.. Just not frequently enough.. I actually prefer masturbation sometimes more then sex, because I know what my body likes.. and if anyone knows how to please me, it is myself. I say go for it.. MASTERBATE, get that frustration out.. better then to hold it in.. which causes higher stress levels.. sexyal frustration... mental frustration... I think NOT masturbating is more hazardous to your health. :) Go enjoy.

[enjoyit_more]

UUKZRZ87 said that if you don't want sexual desires to run your life then don't sir them up by masturbating. That's like saying, if you don't want food to run your life, then don't eat. Doesn't make much sense. Sex is a natural desire. And obviously, like anything, it can become an obsession. However, eating for some people has become an obsession, but we don't refuse to eat. Can I say, DUH!!! Sorry to be so juvenile. I'm a 34 year old woman and have done my share of masturbating, but in no way have become addicted to it. WTF!!! He also goes on to say, "What would you think if your future husband masturbated while looking at porn once a day minimum, up to say 15 times in one day...had seen millions of porn videos and had so many thoughts of other random bodies? But had vowed not to have sex before marriage? " I'd say, Congratulations! How the hell did you manage that?! Besides, not everyone who masturbates watches pornography or thinks of random naked bodies. Anyway, I was just trying to add a sense of normalcy to this forum. Seems like there were either those saying that they masturbate a million times a day(obviously I'm exaggerating), or they are saying that you are a porn freak or into bondage if you masturbate. Let's get a grip on reality people. So, in response to "Awkward's " question; What you are experiencing is a normal part of being a human with a healthy sex drive. You should enjoy it while you still have it. As some of us get older(Not me of course, lol), we lose the ability to enjoy it like we could in our early twenties.

[frog83flys]

Ok so I was reading the reply, and I just wanted to say that having urges is a normal thing. Every teen gets them no matter if you are actually thinking about sex or not. I think that it is defiantly okay for you to relieve those urges with a little self pleasure. I can understand not watching porn, but I'm pretty sure that every woman who marries a man already knows that they have probably more than one time in their life watched porn and or masturbated to it. I respect your thought to stay pure, but sometimes those urges can build up and you might do something you could regret. If masturbation keeps you from having sex, then I'd say go for it.

[Kosa]

I am a 23 year old women and I have just reasontly started masterbating to relieve some of my overpoweing sex drives. I to have desided to wait untill after marriage for that beautiful event. My reasons though lie in that the Bible forbids it before marraige. Its not easy though and I struggle hard with it at times. I was very afraid that I was going to lose my verginity if I didnt do something about my emotions so I started masterbating. I have found that it helps my emotional state yet I now have to deal with wanting to masterbate more then I need to. Sex is something beautifull and perfect in its right place. It is not my time to experiance that, but when it comes my time I will compleatly enjoy myself and have no regrets!

[micky476]

exploring your sexuality is perfectly normal. ever since i started masturbating, i've noticed myself be more relaxed, happy, and basically more focused on all the things i have to do. i do it about 6 times a week, and i LOVE it. i look at pictures or porn for like 5 minutes, rub my "area" and just let nature take its course. i think u need to accept your body for what it is, and not speak so narrow-mindedly. really? how conservative!

[RichyRichArd334]

Dang girl, you know how to live

[justuandme]

masturbation can be a very healthy thing as stated by others....as long as it does not CONTROL your life!

My sister and I talked to our Dr. about the fact that neither of us have ever had an orgasm during sex......we have both been married for years and have had different partners prior to marriage and no one has ever been able to give us one.  His advise was to masturbate. He said to get our bodies used to the feeling and the more we do it the greater our chances are of having one with our hubbies. It was weird at first but it does work! Now I can have a clitoral or a Gspot one almost every time, sometimes more than once!

He also told my husband to masturbate to help him "last" longer. My husband is a wieredo, he does not feel right doing it....he feels like he is cheating on me if he does it.  At least he always make sure I get to have one first.

Masturbating has also seemed to help my mood and stress level LOL

[annimok]

Did you know that masterbation use to be used in hospitals as a treatment for stress???? Thats where vibraters came from, doctors were tired of doing it themselves and so they invented a machine to get it done and do it faster... so There is your proof that masterbation is healthy, it helps releive stress... if i didnt masterbate id prolly done went on a killing spree...

[reallynow1]

First of all, "masturbation" done in the old days to women in hospitals is sexual abuse and was discontinued for that reason.

Second of all, many of you act as if you have no choices in relieving sexual tension besides masturbation or sex. It is possible to channel that energy into exercise, meditation or prayer, or doing something worthwhile to help the world or improve yourself!

Also, looking at porn can make you unappreciative or real live sex when you find the right person to have it with--it objectifies people and sets unrealistic expectations. Masturbating while in a sexual relationship can take away the focus from improving the relationship and is not necessarily good.

I see masturbation as an immature way of handling sexual tension. Not bad but not ideal either.

[Justpassedby]

I just wanted to ask,I masterbate like 3x a day ,started doing this on march since i had abortion, i felt like just the need to satisfy myself than have an  intercourse with my bf since he is always traveling and its totally not gonna make me pregnant,and it makes my menstruation a lot advanced, or sometimes I bleed after I feel my orgasm, is there something wrong with me? Would definitely appreciate your opinions

[Eireluv]

damn girl you gotta get checked.

and to the rest of you that disagree. i say its healthy to let that tension out  some how dont ya think?