Aa
HOCD: a question about my daughter
This may be long but i would love for some help.
My 17 year old daughter opened up to me last night about something that was bothering her.
She has had obsessive compulsive disorder for her entire life, and lately she has a new worry. She fears that she may one day turn into a lesbian, and this is her story...
From the time she was a little girl..about 8 or Nine years old, she liked boys. loved them! her first crush was on Hugh Jackman after watching kate and leopold and then she began to have many many serious crushes and romantic feelings for male celebrities, etc. Her first real crush was on a boy when she was nine, and from then on, before "sexual" feelings for boys emerged, she continued to romantically fantasize about boys, think about kissing them 24/7, and had feelings for boys that lasted even years at a time; "praying" that they could be together, young adolescent stuff like that.
As she got into about 11 years old, of course she had curiosities about sex and sexual feelings and she no doubt felt aroused by seeing couples get close in movies etc, but in this day and age kids begin to be exposed to sexualized images of people, especially other women, at a young age.
As she began to rediscover masturbation, she found that at about 12 sexualized images on women would give her that feeling in her privates and this kind of thing she found she could masturbate to. Pictures of things like porno-sized boobs or things like that is what she got off to, but she never thought about anyone she actually knew, or any girls on the playground, or her friends, in that masturbation way at all. Nor did she ever even think of liking girls romantically, because boys were all she truely cared about.
Keep in mind, at about age 13, she did fantasize about boys sexually and that gave her the "rush"..the good rush..and in her waking life she always fantasized about boys romantically/sexually/erotically. I think what is most important is the fact that she felt aroused by boys in REAL life.. and as she turned 15 she began to have some sexual experiences with boys and she no doubt felt extremely aroused. Her most extreme sexual urges have come up at age 16 with a boy she became very close with, and every little thing that he'd do that sounded or looked remotely sexual have her extremely intense sexual urges..ones that were different from the ones she has when she saw sexualized images of girls..this feeling was all over and most importantly "down there".
as she broadened her sexual fantasy range, and she realized that boys turn her on so much, she realized that she dosent need those things to "get off" and whenever she masturbates now, she thinks of men, and sex with men, with ease.
My daughter, from the time she was a young girl, was obsessed with finding her "soul mate". Especially this year starting about january she was so filled with hope about finding her husband and dreamed of her wedding and had her whole life planned out; she would pray and pray and pray for a man who will love her and never leave her etc etc etc..she always talks about how when shes upset, all she does is think about the day she marries the man of her dreams because that is the day that nothing else will matter. unrealistic i suppose, but typical of a teenage girl who has got so much love in her heart to give.
My daughter has become so fixated on this thought, it goes in a constant loop in her head all day, filled with anxiety and deep depression. She keeps looking back into her past looking for signes she is gay, keeps looking at girls and thinking "oh my god, am i attracted to her? does she arouse me?" she is uncomfortable being around her girl friends or hugging them, touching them, laughing with them or anything because she fears this will mean shes gay. Her ex-boyfriends mom is a teacher and because she gets nervous around this woman due to all the criticizing she used to do to my daughter she thinks this MUST mean she is really secretly in love with her, and she fears that her whole life shes only loved boys subconsiously as a cover because she may have been gay deep down.
Im sorry this is so long, but what is mainly the point is, she is afraid that she will one day out of nowhere become a lesbian and (and because of her strong catholic faith) not be able to have her dream life with her husband and her babies and live the life shes always dreamed about.
What do you guys think? Is my daughter gay? Will she be gay?
Thanks in advance for all your help and support.
Much love.
My 17 year old daughter opened up to me last night about something that was bothering her.
She has had obsessive compulsive disorder for her entire life, and lately she has a new worry. She fears that she may one day turn into a lesbian, and this is her story...
From the time she was a little girl..about 8 or Nine years old, she liked boys. loved them! her first crush was on Hugh Jackman after watching kate and leopold and then she began to have many many serious crushes and romantic feelings for male celebrities, etc. Her first real crush was on a boy when she was nine, and from then on, before "sexual" feelings for boys emerged, she continued to romantically fantasize about boys, think about kissing them 24/7, and had feelings for boys that lasted even years at a time; "praying" that they could be together, young adolescent stuff like that.
As she got into about 11 years old, of course she had curiosities about sex and sexual feelings and she no doubt felt aroused by seeing couples get close in movies etc, but in this day and age kids begin to be exposed to sexualized images of people, especially other women, at a young age.
As she began to rediscover masturbation, she found that at about 12 sexualized images on women would give her that feeling in her privates and this kind of thing she found she could masturbate to. Pictures of things like porno-sized boobs or things like that is what she got off to, but she never thought about anyone she actually knew, or any girls on the playground, or her friends, in that masturbation way at all. Nor did she ever even think of liking girls romantically, because boys were all she truely cared about.
Keep in mind, at about age 13, she did fantasize about boys sexually and that gave her the "rush"..the good rush..and in her waking life she always fantasized about boys romantically/sexually/erotically. I think what is most important is the fact that she felt aroused by boys in REAL life.. and as she turned 15 she began to have some sexual experiences with boys and she no doubt felt extremely aroused. Her most extreme sexual urges have come up at age 16 with a boy she became very close with, and every little thing that he'd do that sounded or looked remotely sexual have her extremely intense sexual urges..ones that were different from the ones she has when she saw sexualized images of girls..this feeling was all over and most importantly "down there".
as she broadened her sexual fantasy range, and she realized that boys turn her on so much, she realized that she dosent need those things to "get off" and whenever she masturbates now, she thinks of men, and sex with men, with ease.
My daughter, from the time she was a young girl, was obsessed with finding her "soul mate". Especially this year starting about january she was so filled with hope about finding her husband and dreamed of her wedding and had her whole life planned out; she would pray and pray and pray for a man who will love her and never leave her etc etc etc..she always talks about how when shes upset, all she does is think about the day she marries the man of her dreams because that is the day that nothing else will matter. unrealistic i suppose, but typical of a teenage girl who has got so much love in her heart to give.
My daughter has become so fixated on this thought, it goes in a constant loop in her head all day, filled with anxiety and deep depression. She keeps looking back into her past looking for signes she is gay, keeps looking at girls and thinking "oh my god, am i attracted to her? does she arouse me?" she is uncomfortable being around her girl friends or hugging them, touching them, laughing with them or anything because she fears this will mean shes gay. Her ex-boyfriends mom is a teacher and because she gets nervous around this woman due to all the criticizing she used to do to my daughter she thinks this MUST mean she is really secretly in love with her, and she fears that her whole life shes only loved boys subconsiously as a cover because she may have been gay deep down.
Im sorry this is so long, but what is mainly the point is, she is afraid that she will one day out of nowhere become a lesbian and (and because of her strong catholic faith) not be able to have her dream life with her husband and her babies and live the life shes always dreamed about.
What do you guys think? Is my daughter gay? Will she be gay?
Thanks in advance for all your help and support.
Much love.
My 15 yr old daughter has been with both girls and boys it's started out with girls at 13-14 she started to open up to me about everything she was just also with a boy over Christmas break and when u say she opens up to me she tells me things I could go with out hearing but she knows right now she likes both and I am a mother of 5 & I been with girls in my life time but I'm straight I've been married and getting married next summer I also only kissed and played with the girl I never went down on any of them but they did me I'm not gay to have liked it so I hope my story can help u out
Nope not necessarily being turned on by the female body is her fetish because she's more comfortable and used to the female body at that age I was the same by was completely set put for men.
this does not mean your daughter is a lesbian! I am a heterosexual 37 year old female with three children and a husband. There is nothing unusual about fantasizing or looking at pictures of women to become aroused. I love sex with men, but love to watch women in sexual situations. Maybe its because i can relate to how those women feel, but i think its just because the female body is beautiful and erotic! I can remember masturbating with my friend when i was a girl on several occasions, i think its just part of self discovery! I truly crave sex with men (husband), but i love to watch and see naked women and women masturbating. for the record i am not a lesbian. i hope this helps, your daughter should not worry about something so innocent, normal and prevalent.
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