1462810 tn?1327360449

Bible stories

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah,
the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal.  She explained how Elijah built
the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the
altar.  And then Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels
of water and pour it over the altar.  He had them do this four times -
"Now,"  said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have
Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, " I know, I
know!" she said, "To make the gravy!"

The Sunday school teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and
turned into a pillar of salt, when little Jason interrupted, "My Mummy
looked back once while she was driving," he announced triumphantly,
"and she turned into a telephone pole!"

  A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan, in which a man was beaten, robbed and left for dead.  She
described the situation in vivid detail so her students would catch the
drama.  Then, she asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the
roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would you do?"

A thoughtful little girl broke the silence, "I think I'd throw up."

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark ?"
"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms?"

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how
powerful kings and queens were in Bible times.  But, there is a higher
power.  Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday

"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a
rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt .  When he got to the
Red Sea , he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked
across safely.  Then he radioed headquarters for reinforcements.  They
sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"No Joey, is that really what the teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

A Sunday school teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of
the most quoted passages in the Bible, Psalm 23.  She gave the youngsters a
month to learn the verse.

Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the
Psalm.  After much practice, he could barely get past the first line.  On
the day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Rickey was nervous.  When it was his turn, he stepped up to
the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's all
I need to know."


There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family bible to her
brother in another part of the country.
"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.
"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.
Somebody has well said, there are only two kinds of people in the world.
There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning
Lord," and there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning!"
There is the story of a pastor who got up one Sunday and announced to his
congregation, "I have good news and bad news.  The good news is, we have
enough money to pay for our new building program.  The bad news is, it's
still out there in your pockets."
While driving in Pennsylvania, a family caught up to an Amish carriage.
The owner of the carriage obviously had a sense of humor, because attached
to the back of the carriage was a hand printed sign..."Energy efficient
vehicle: Runs on oats and grass.  Caution: Do not step in the exhaust."
Sunday after church a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson
was about.  The daughter answered, "Don't be scared you'll get your

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.  Later in the day, the pastor
stopped by for tea and Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school
lesson was about.  He said, "Don't be afraid, thy comforter is
Give me a sense of humor, Lord.
Give me the grace to see a joke.
To get some humor out of life,
And pass it on to other folk.
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535822 tn?1443976780
Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings     loved it ...
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