i have OCD

[flowerpetal]

I suffer with servere OCD and it is driving me insane. I went to the doctors once about it and was diagnosed with a servere case of OCD, but was just given anti-depressants, I do not want to take these and think i need much more than this as it takes over my whole life, and i want to stop this now as i have had enough. What do you suggest is the best thing to help get over this.

[1centwiz]

We might be cracked pots, that leak water to the plants along the roadside, but the path we travel is full of blooms....
OCD is only part of the problem. I notice for me, my symptoms get worse when I get more stressed over things I can not change. SO I hyperfocus on the things I think I can and go over board. You may not realize that your thoughts are running together when you write and if I'm reading it correctly, I tend to do that when I get excited or stressed out as well. Like trying to fit everything into one suitcase because you may forget this or that, but when you try lift it, although it has everything you may possibly need in it, you can't get it off the bed to carry it. So what's the point? the point is, either divide and conquer or decide what you really need and what you can buy when you get there...
It sounds to me like you need to divide and conquer first. Then when you get there, decide what you need that you didn't pack and don't worry about the cost. It's all part of a vacation and no matter what you try and do, you'll always forget something. So plan that into your trip and you'll have a better time knowing that it's ok if you forgot something, you planned on buying some things anyways... Sometimes it's ok to plan to fail, because you really aren't failing if you planned on being ok with forgetting. Sometimes, good enough is just good enough. You probably do things better than most, but most won't even notice. If something catches your eye and you get "stuck" on it, put it on a list to get to later so you can move on to the next task at hand. I can't stop my mind from over analyzing, but sitting down with my kitties or friends little kids always has a way of calming me down. Find what is your calm trigger and put that in a place where you can reach it. Whatever it may be... Chewing gum used to be helpful for me. I could count the bubbles or my chews and then I could sit still in school. Now it's my Ipod... I go everywhere with it, but when I"m around people, I only have one ear bod in. I tell people that I'm listening to Christian Music because it calms me down a bit. Most people say ok and that's all that needs to be said. But it keeps me from answering out loud with off the wall comments, or the extreme need to fill the silences. I've been able to make new friends that I don't push away with my words. It's like background ambiant noise for me and I don't feel so insecure in groups anymore.
I hope this note comes across as helpful. You are not alone, just unique to be you. Embrace it, and find ways to work around the "isms" in your life. Your kids will see you as a problem solver and a process person. Most people that have met me think of me that way... the shame of having the "isms" is lessening with time and I'm being to tell my husband more and more, but it's taken me 6 years of hiding things from him so he'll still love me. Now he's starting to realize that the comments about it all being in my head, were true and he feels terrible about it. He was just being sarcastic and frustrated in his own way and with his own "isms"... go figure...

[theotterone]

When I was diagnosed with ADD, my doctor was explaining how great it was we caught it in my daughter at age 9.  He was saying that the ADDer is very bright and can catch some of what is going on around them and get by.  I said both my daughters (6 & 9) are very bright, to which he responded "So is their mother!"

Sometimes, it is hard to do what is right for us as moms.  We are so caught up in taking care of everything and everyone else, that it seems we don't have time to deal with our own issues.

My point is, I am now working to establish a balance between my ADD, Depression and Anxiety and the medications that go with them.  I was scared to take stimulants, but I am calmer with my kids now that I am on them, and they NOTICE!  Even in the morning before I have taken anything, being awakened because they thought "play with the puppy ON Mom in bed" was a good idea caused a laugh instead of an angry yelling session.  You need to take care of YOU too.  I won't claim to know how much pressure you are under as a single mother.  I can tell you when I have OCD symptoms, I know my meds are off.  You need to keep in contact with your doctor and give them time to work.  It can take a month to 6 weeks for antidepressants to work.  I know it is hard to explain to kids.  I had to explain to my then 4 year old (now 6) that Mommy doesn't take medication because she is sick, but to help keeping her from getting sick.  It took me years to figure out what would work for me, and now I get to revamp the whole thing!  Take a deep breath and know your kids will be better off if you take care of you so that you can be there for them!

You always have support here!
The Otter One (Alyssa)
Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light! :oD

[flowerpetal]

thankyou, yes i definitly see what you mean. Just so worried about the side affects of them, especially as i have 2 young children and am a single mother. i dont want to affect there lives in anyway because of the way they might make me feel, even though it probably doesnt make sense, because even though i dont see it i am probably affecting them by me having OCD anyway, even though i try and be as descret about it as i can, not many people even know i have it.

[Sandman2]

    I can remember going to a Doctor for a severe case of whiplash as a result of a ski fall.  He gave me pain pills and muscle relaxants.  Being macho, I didn't want to take the pain pills.  He told me that your muscles are crying out.  Until, you can reduce the pain that they feel, they won't relax - ie. the relaxants won't work.
    Anti-depressants are somewhat similar.  The body has to calm down before you can start other methods to deal with the OCD.  Once your body has relaxed enough for other methods to work, then you slowly cut back on the depressants.
    The main thing is that you need professional help.  You need to try what they suggest.  I don't think this is something that you can handle by yourself or get a magic fix by members of this forum.  Good Luck.