18 years abuse and having hard time dealing with it all

[jenny769]

I was in a relationship for almost 18 years that was very abusive physically, emotionally, verbally and mentally.  So many things happened and so much said that was very hard.  I am now not with him anymore and have a new relationship but i'm having a hard time not letting the abusive one make problems for the one i'm in now.  He has almost broken up with me a few times now and tells me to seek help with getting better.  I do not want to loose him and I do want to be better with all of this.  The problem is a lot of times I don't realize what i'm doing wrong until my boyfriend is already upset with me.  How do I get past this.  I just want to be happy with my new boyfriend and move on.  The abusive relationship was very difficult, he done everything from punching, smacking me, tripping me, kicking me, held me by my throat and lifted me off the ground, held knives and razors to my throat, called me everything, threatened my life, threatened to take my life.  And the worst thing was he threatened to take our son away from me saying that I was unfit.  I know I am a fit mother and I know what he did was wrong and I am living with my Son now and he moved far away.  I am dealing with a lot of stress lately, as well as anxiety, and feel that I may have post traumatic also.  I do not want to destroy my relationship with my new boyfriend, I love him so much.  Please any advice would be appreciated.

[allmymarbles]

What is it about your behavior that upsets your boyfriend?

[RockRose]

Have you considered that you may be in another abusive relationship at this point?  

If you don't realize anything is wrong until your boyfriend is upset - is it possible he gets upset over things that are too minor for you to notice?