Can someone help me?

[happywifey]

Ok my husband was gone for a month and a half, (he was just my boyfriend at that time) before he left things were really rocky, name calling him pushing me around... And I have this problem where I lie to him about little thing I dont mean to or want to I know that I do get scared or how he is going to react, but I know he wont believe me about somethings so I lie about it in hopes that everything will go away or get better, be forgotten... Well when he was gone I had cheated on him. There was this party an I did somethings that Im not proud of, that I deeply regret, take back and wished none of it never happened.. My supposably "best friend" told my boyfriend about most of the things that went on and thru alittle side lies in there..  I feel horrible about everything, my husband gave me the chance to come clean, I have, but I know I left one thing out because I didnt want him to think that I was doing something I really wasnt, now I have comed clean with everything but he doesnt believe me and thinks i have done other things which I cant blame him, I'd be thinking the same thing if the tables were turned... But then I really scared that me hurting him like i did will ruin our relationship our marraige ruin everything... We have a little boy an possible another one on the way? How can we get passed this I dont want him to cheat on me, which Im deathly scared of because he wants me to feel how he feels and I dont want him to leave, is there any advice?!?!?! Why do I lie like I do, why cant I just quit??? How can we get past the stuff that I regret doing?!?!?!??

[kenneltech]

The jerk pushes you around, treats you like crap, the marriage is rocky, and you wonder why you strayed?  I wouldn't just stray, I'd get the hell out!  I can see why you lie, I'd lie too!  For heavens sake, why do you want this marriage (or whatever?) to be okay?  You have kids, one now, one maybe on the way, that have to watch and listen to all this sh---!  Do you have any idea how this is affecting them?   They are going to grow up with your "boyfriends?" attitude about women, calling them names, not trusting them, etc.

And you, cheating is NOT the answer, sounds like both of you need to grow up, you are supposed to be adult parents.  Take your kids and go to a battered womens shelter and start a life with your kids, this "marriage" isn't going to get better, why would it?  Are you both seeking counseling?  NO.

[LeighAlexsandra]

Lies create more lies unfortuanlty :( ..its a nasty road and it comes too a horrible end Belive me i know :(.. When your husband was away was it for work? or was it because you needed a break? Sorry too be nosey... Its just because if it was because you needed a break well at the end of the day it was him who left.... If it was for work... Well okay it was bad but your regretting it, you know it was wrong... First of all... Your best friend needs too go... If she has throwen more lies in there its defentaly hard enough without her going and stiring more problems...All you can really say is look i've told you the truth that is that and if you dont belive me there is nothing else i can do... And you have too stop beating yourself up about it.. Because if you cant forgive yourself, how can you except him too forgive you... You weren't married at the time.. and i dont think your husband will cheat on you because you cant as i've herd people say ''fight fire with fire.. because you just get burned'' i hope this make sense too you... If you love each other truley your love should be enough too fight this... the past is the past you both need too look for the future and for your children congratz if you are pregnant :)...Good luck and please keep posted... I hope all goes well for you

[jrobertson20]

I would try couseling both for marriage and some for just you and him alone.  I know most people don't want to hear that but I truly think that is the only way to help things.  Trying to talk at home is probably going to just let a lot of things unresolved or cause a big fight which doesn't help anything.  I can't tell you why you keep lying so maybe that is something they can help you figure out.  It's easy for me to say you need to stop doing this but it is harder for you to stop.  Get professional help even if your husband doesn't want to go to counseling I really really think you still should.  Good luck.