worried

[Mary811]

I was abused by a relative for a short period when i was really small. Later on I had a friendly relationship with that relative. In the recent 5-7 years Ive come to hate that relative & am not on talking terms with the same person. Though I never confronted him. BUT now Im having disturbing thoughts & dreams bout another relative wanting to try something sexual with me. Though this 2nd person and I have had a wonderful supportive and loving relationship my entire life. I would say Im closer to him that anyone else in my family. He doesnt deserve to be the villain in my dreams or in my thoughts. Why is this happening to me. Am I a sick person who is fantasazing bout a decent man in a very unholy way.
Ive also read that anxiety can bring on some really unwanted and obtrusive thoughts in our mind.
Is it relatted to anxiety. Please help.

[newty97]

Remember the person who abused you, was prior to their violation of you, probably a caring, kind, wholesome individual who treated you with love and compassion. Then all that trust and goodness was lost the day that person abused you. The point I am trying to make, is that the goody turned baddy and your dreams are probably a manifestation of your fears that this will happen again with the relative that is treating you with the dignity and compassion that you so fully deserve. The sexual content is again your psyche reminding you of the trauma you have endured, do not read anything into the fact that it is your relative in the dream, after all you have been totally betrayed by a family member in the past. Our bodies have funny ways of reminding us of past events but this is a sure sign that matters have been swept away under the carpet and not dealt with accordingly. It appears that you would benefit greatly from therapy in order to put this unfortunate event to rest.
However this has to be done for you, by you and on your terms to gain real closure.
Take Care
Claire xxx

[margypops]

Great    it is hard to do, you have to get into a Habit ,of not allowing the negativity in,I think of it as distraction, the same thing you can do with a child begining a Tantrum, nip it before it starts, switch it off, you can say, No I will not do this", or Stop' nothing is happening I am okay', just a few words to yourself, then as you say change direction ,live in the moment of what you are doing, and focus hard on that.  I see over and over folks saying they cant stop thinking...Good luck,

[Mary811]

thank you margypops. Ive been tryin to switch my thoughts off and keep myself busy continuously last few days, and i have to say it has helped tremendously.

[margypops]

It does sound as if your thoughts are causing this anxiety, it is only our thoughts that can make us feel bad. when you feel as if you are letting them absrb you distract yourself stay in the moment ,switch off from them it can be done, it will become a habit. some counselling may be good for you with regards to the past. Good Luck