Emotional and Verbal abuse of grandchildren

[prep629]

I don't know how to ask this but My soon to be 4 year old grandchildren (twins) cry everytime their mother comes to pick them up or even if I tell them that they are going home. They lived with me for 2 1/2 years then my daughter moved out with her boyfriend and had another baby now 1. They can stay at my house for days and not even ask to go home, in fact I picked them up from preschool and they were all excited until I answered their question that I was just picking them up and taking them home. Is this normal?

[jo929]

I have grown children now and am a Granmother they are not around me, bt i remember that my children stayed a lot with their granmother and she loved children they were so fond of her but she let them do anything they wanted to do, she never dicipined them, so i had  much to my regret my youngest stayed with her because she begged me to let her said she was so lonely so i just let her stay for days and my daughter was 11 when she passed away, and she became withdrawn and she had gained so much weight, because when the girl was unhappy she fed her so i am to blame she grew up with problems and those days they did not have special classes or councelors, so i am to blame for not over seeing her my mother in law was kind and she was like a child herself she was never one to tell a child right from wrong even tho i loved her dearly maybe you are letting the children do as they like to much and then maybe i am wrong i hope so for the childrens sake, but you sound like a person with some sense so watch for signs they may not like their moms boyfreind and he may not like them  lots of luck  jo  children come first in my books

[margypops]

This is a hard one as what you may perceive as child abuse it sounds like it would be hard to prove it could be that they love being with you and dont want to go home, do they ever seem as if they are abused what other signs are there, if you do feel that they are you could ask to speak anonomously to a child protection person for advice thats what I would do but you may need more than they dont want to go home. How did your daughter behave with them when they lived with you, is she a good Mom ,why would you think otherwise. It is good that you are aware I feel you need to find out more if you can and you are being protective as a great granma.would be .