Your post is very vague,is there anthing else you could say to help us to help you?
The first thing is to move away from him, you dont have to live like that, it wont change. Make arrangements to move in to a place by your self or with other family Good luck
We need more information.
FOR YEARS EVERYTIME I GOT HURT (PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY) I'D TRIED TO MAKE MYSELF FEEL BETTER BY BUYING MY DAUGHTER OR SON SOMETHING. AFTER YEARS OF LIVING ABOVE OUR MEANS, WE ARE IN FORECLOSURE. I'M MISERABLE. BOTH KIDS ARE GROWN NOW, BUT I MADE A PROMISE TO MY GRANDMOTHER NOT TO LEAVE MY HUSBAND. I CANT LET HIM LOOSE THE HOUSE THO. I'M JUST SO CONFUSED AND SCARED. LAST APRIL HE HURT ME AGAIN AND WITH MY KIDS GONE I FIGURED WHAT WAS THE USE. ATLEAST HE COULD KEEP THE HOUSE BECAUSE WE HAVE A LIFE INSURANCE POLICY THAT WILL COVER INCASE OF SUICIDE. I DONT WANT TO DIE BUT I DONT WANT TO LIVE THIS LIE ANYMORE.
Then regardless of any promise made, you should leave there is no other way .I feel reading your post with your feelings about suicide that you should speak to your Doctor and get some help,you dont have to be scared of him or anyone , you stand up to a bully, if you cant then you leave ,would your granma want you to live like this, I doubt it. Dont think about it, just do it ....
Grandmothers are not always wise. In any case, this is your life, not hers. Put on your running shoes.
I am a male, never let a male dictate the way you live, he is not a man. a real ma treats his lady with dignity. leave now before its too late.