Husband abuse no one see's

[lolo628]

My husband and I have been married for 23 years of and on. He has physical abused me and mentaly. I think he is a demon most times. Last time we got in a fight he was so evil it put me in a mental break down. Every weekend we fight and he and I drink all weekend. I dont want it anymore. I tried not drinking to see if that worked and it doesnt. We have a beautiful son that is 14 now and he is great but now seeing the bad that I hid from him all these years. What do I do?

[loribell981]

1. get sober. 2.learn as much as you can about your finances. start a secret bank account and put as much money aside as you can. 3. talk to an attorney. demonds do not play nice. 4.only discuss what you are doing with the people who have proven they can be trusted or are bound by legal implications to keep what you are doing secret.  5.do not get involved with other men.  it's not healthy for your son, and it is not healthy for you.  6. if and only if you can keep it to yourself would I recommend you keep a diary and ask your attorney if it will help your case.  7. actively search for resources available in your community in the event you will need to go to a shelter or need financial assistance. 8. abuse takes away your power.  your just trying to get your power back.  this will hurt him and make him angry.  but he will survive .  Your goal is to ensure you and your son survive.  Think with your head and not your emotions because he has distorted what your emotions will tell you.  You are not alone.  Others have left with just the clothes on their backs which is obviously not ideal but they got their power back.  Good luck

[margypops]

If he abused you there is no way your son did not hear and it will have affected him.,you need help to get clean or you will never do it and your son will continue to be traumatised...

[AnnieBrooke]

ps -- if he ever beats you and there is physical evidence, be ready to go to the police and have him arrested.  What he is doing is morally insupportable, but it is also illegal.  You and your son need protection.

[AnnieBrooke]

Get counseling, so you can get clean and sober, and so you can leave.  If you have to, hide the counseling from your husband.  Talk to your pastor if you can't get a therapist.  Tell your son you are sorry, once you go, for all the undercurrents he had to live with as a child.  (It will have affected him, as you probably already know.)