I m 23 years old, been with my bf for almost 2 years. I met him during summer 2009 on holiday and we clicked right away. In fact, i left my family and my home country to go live with him 2 months after meeting him because he said he couldn't do the whole long-distance relationship thing, that it wouldn't work and well, i didn't want to lose him and also thought it d be great to move to another country, given the opportunity to study abroad or get a job, and get some independance it seemed (i lived with my parents at home) so i moved in with him. He lived in a tiny appartment that he owned, so not much room for one person, let alone 2 but we made it work in the beginning. Also, before moving, i had told him that i didnt have much money and that i didn't know how long it would take me to get a job, he said it didnt matter, that he wanted me to move in anyway, that he would pay and i could just help out later. Anyway, the real issue or most important one is, for a long time now, cant really figure out when exactly it started but he has been kind of forcing himself on me. for example, this morning, he started touching me and "humping" me (dont know how else to put it) while i was sleeping so that i woke up. I knew that he wanted sex but i told him no, i m not in the mood, coz i was really tired coz i had been up late doing some schoolwork (i started at university in autumn 2010) and wasnt feeling well coz i m really stressed coz of my studies just now... i told him to leave my pants on but its like he isnt really listening, so he just took them off anyway, and there i was completely naked. He is quite strong, like he can hold me down with just one hand so i cant really push him away, and the times before when i have actually pushed him away or yelled no, he gets really grumpy if not angry and pushes me off the bed or tells me to go away, or just doesnt say anything for the whole day...
but anyway, this morning and other times, i dont wanna say that i just give in, but its like what i say he doesnt hear or it doesnt matter, so i just stop protesting and i let him take me... sometimes it hurts, since my body isnt really ready, but he just keeps on anyway, and sometimes he asked if i m ok and even if i say no, he keeps on....
so i dont really have much desire anymore and i dont know what to do, i mean he is my bf so i should want him too but i just dont anymore...
Sorry for writing such a long message, it has just been going for so long that i m confused and dont really know how to explain it...