Can someone tell me their real story considering abusing?

[more0then0a0virus]

my friend`s boyfriend have some sings of abusive behavior. I guess it`s hard, but I would REALLY appreciate if someone could told me more details about how it stats. Like: "You can`t go out looking like that*"...

I don`t want her to go trough that. Any help would be appreciated...

P.S. And if you were abuser, can she tell him that she wants to make their relationship work, but he have to accept he has a problem, so they can handle it together? He hit her 4 the first time, and his excuses are miserable and typical: "you shouldn`t  have provoke me, but I`m really really sorry. And why are you exaggerating so much?"

[Katona1700s]

Most abusive guys would say "you provoked me" i wouldnt let that slide as an excuse. Normally abuse doesnt just happen, normally it starts off small then grows. If she never said anything in her defense if he verbally insulted her then he would take that as a "she wont do anything" and that can lead to physical abuse. I have seen abuse and i heard alot of excuses as in "i was drunk" or "you were provoking me"...there is no excuse to putting your hands on someone else and making them feel worthless. Your friend needs to be strong and tell him straight to his face "You need to treat me better, i will help you go through this, but dont hurt me." Yeah it can be difficult and harder than it sounds but anything is harder if you dont try. Your friend needs you to encourage her and if you stand up with you against him, let her know that you are there, and once she is encouraged by you then she can stand up to him.
Hope things get better for you and your friend.
<3 Katona1700s

[RockRose]

If she's in a new relationship and she suspects it is turning into an abusive one,  it's just dumb to tell him she wants to be with him as long as he admits he has a problem and is willing to work on it.  

That's just foolish behavior,  in the abused one's part.  

But honestly,  that's why these relationships last,  abuser and abused.  Because the abused is very willing to sit right there and be abused.  Other women,  at this point after being hit,  would walk right out the door.

Some women won't.  It's weird.  More women will leave if they're being ignored,  than will leave if their being battered.  

And there's really not much you can do about it.  It's her choice.  She may decide to stay,  and if she does . . .  I wouldn't be around them because then you are in danger also.

Best wishes.