My 10 year old son was abused

[Green_SA]

My 10 year old son had always been shy and withdrawn but about 9 months ago he became more so. He dyed his hair black, got his ear pierced, got suspended from school for fighting, cut his arm so deep he had to get taken to hospital because he lost so much blood, then peaked by stealing a bottle of my painkillers and downing the whole bottle at school! After this entire saga he finally told us what was going on - for seven months he was being sexually abused by his friends father.
He's been seeing a psychiatrist for the last two months but he's still so angry and withdrawn. He keeps on having nightmares and has started being very hostile to any male (except my husband). What can we do to help him through this?

[jo929]

I can only say that i feel for both you and your son.yes he will need counsling and maybe blame himself some do. but be there for him if he wants to talk, maybe time can be a healer and by all means see that the man pays as he will keep on doing this, also if he kept going back there may be a reason, that he is not talking about all of this ,I have seen this happen and my heart goes out to all of you just try to comvince him he was not at fault, and the man was the abuser and he was just a victim,, he may feel he did something wrong assure him of your love. and tell him time may heal    lots of luck  jo

[RockRose]

This is really hard.  I'm so sorry this is happening to your family.  : (

Typically children who are sexually abused will resist being around the abuser - and will not go where the abuser is if they can help it.  If the abuser is a family member or parent or priest,  and they can't get away,  the abuse keeps happening.

Was it his own choice to keep going over there with the abuser?  If so he's going to have a much harder time in recovery than if he took steps to resist.  Children who are abused to take steps to take charge tend to fare better - the guilt that children put on themselves for purposely exposing themselves to abuse is harder to recover from.

I hope you called the police.

Best wishes.

[jml1986]

This it going to be a very tough time for him and counseling is the best thing for him right now. I would suggest you talk to his doctor about different ways to help him vent his anger in a positive way. Is the guy that abused him being charged for this crime? If not, this could be part of the problem. For some people it takes see the person punished to feel like they are vendicated. If he is not been charged it could seem like to your son like you really don't believe him even though you have said you believe him, and are getting him the help he needs.

[tamtam504]

HI, i am so sorry for what your son is going through this must be horrible for him! I think him seeing a conselor is probably the best thing for him right now,I also think maybe karate or something like that would also give a positive experience with a male and also help him to channel some of the anger he is dealing with. It will also give him a chance at feeling he can protect his self if ever needed. I hope thiswill  help you and again i am sorry for what ya'll must be feeling right now. Sincely tamtam