My best friends boyfriend

[lynnalb15]

How do you tell your best friend that her boyfriend/ baby's dad is just not into her! I'm so sick of hearing her tell me about how bad he treats her and how he tells her he wouldn't ben be with her if not for their daughter. He hits her an is very verbally an mentally abusive. When he was prego he told her he ws going to punch her in the stomach to terminate the pregnancy. I getting to the point that I don't even want to be around her because all she does is tell me how horrible he treats her. And it's pointless telling her to leave him because she obviously won't. He's cheated and never wants to spent time with her or baby. It's sickening! She just sits back and let's him do this to her. And I'm at a loss. My poor boyfriend is sick of hearing about it from me cause I'm just so lost on how to help her. So I could use some advice please!!!

[melipops]

Hi, Please don't leave her when all the chips are down. Try to get through to her by means of the baby. Let her know that you will be there for her if she does leave. This is exhausting for you I understand but some imes it atkes a really strong freind for someone to realise they need to get out. I hope things get better for her. Just remember she is in a cycle that is hard to break but there is hope for her. Ring the police next time and see what happens to him. Let the law deal with him. Take care

[overopiates]

I don't agree w/phasing her out.Even though this is annoying and aggitating don't abandon your bf especially when she is n this situation.She needs u and ur clearly her rock.That being said u do need to let her know if she doesnt want to leave which u fully encourage&support but her constant complaining w/o making changes.Let her know its affecting ur relationship and its hurting u to know how badly she is being treated that this AWFUL situation that will  only get worse.If she isnt willing to change then u r no longer willing to listen to her complaints.After saying that tell her flat out what an abusive,sneaky ******* she is dealing with.Tell her she deserves better and u r sick of her not realizing it and doing something for herself and more important her child.Pit yourself n her shoes to explain.Ur pregnant.Ask how she would feel if u called and said ur bf threatened to kick u or worse what if u called&had a miscariage because he beat u.Tell her u r n fear of the call from her saying he lost his temper hurt u or god forbid her child.Explain he could give her hiv.I get that u have probably said stuff b4.Do it n a different time.Concern but firm tell her u don't wanna have to walk away from her and the friendship but u can't sit by watching and listening to this w/o her making changes u love her too much to sit by waiting for the worst.

[cheshchesh819]

i have been in your situation,and in the end i told my friend you moan you threaten to leave and it never happens,i told her i will always be her friend and i am always going to be there for her,but as long as you stay with him and put up with his abuse that is your choice,i dont want to hear about it,the way i see it is if she aint willing to help herself and leave him then what am i suppose to do,she is still with him 5 years later with 2 kids in tow,she will never leave him,she has stopped moaning to me as much,but we are still friends.

[RockRose]

Phase her out of your life,   and NEVER ever complain about her to your boyfriend.  If her name comes up in conversation,  let it be something like "I got together with ___ today.  We went to the park.  Her daughter sure is growing up fast".  That's it.  Enough boring him with this girl who's stuck and refuses to help herself.

I see you're about to have a baby.  This is the perfect time to meet other new mothers,  form new friendships.  Look for the most positive,  most involved girls in those groups and befriend them.  Girls who are doing interesting and positive things - exercise,  yoga,  travel,  whatever it is that interest you.  

You can't help her.  Interesting your profile begins with the prayer of serenity.  Listen to it,  and take it in your heart.  

Best wishes.

[margypops]

All you can do is advise her, its her life , does she say why she allows this situation  what concerns me and you can point this out to her, how is this going to affect the child , children who are brought up in abusive families are affected all their lives by the trauma . I would place an emphasis on that its not simply her life.She should leave him now and not look back ,he wont change ...