childhood memories

[sahara07]

i dont know if this is the right place for this but i need to talk to someone because i cant deal with this guilt anymore. Im a 19 year old female but when i was around 9-11 my mom's friend would come over with his kid she's around 14-15 now. At first we just played together the usual stuff but then we started dry humping ( fully clothed). I dont remember how it started, but sometimes she'd ask me to do it and at that time i was starting to get curious about stuff like that and it felt good so we did it on a couple of occasions. Anyway i take fully responsibility for it i was older and it just wasnt right. I cant stop thinking that i may have scarred her or abused her .......i'm so disgusted with myself that its taking a toll on me i cant focus in class, im having panic attacks and tachycardia.I just wanna know ws that normal, is there something wrong with me,  what can i do to make this stop. Thanx for any replies.

[imanaddict]

OMG that gave me such a laugh! I needed that today!

[teko]

I sure did! What made it worse was he worked the 3-11 shift, working as a security guard for this company and walked all night!  He had grounded me for something I did not do, so I got even! Then I got my a$$ busted on top of it all, but it was so worth it!  I was honery for sure!

[margypops]

Perhaps you are worried about something else and that is why you are overthinking,delving into the past, delve away but how about you focus on some of the positive happenings you have had, tell your self to STOP when thoughts of any negative behavior come up, you were kids ,all normal, most have done something similar.  Good luck

[imanaddict]

I agree with Teko...BTW Teko..did you REALLY do that to your dad?? LMAO!!

Anyway, you guys were kids, and kids actually do this type of thing at those ages. It happened with me too, so I can relate. I haven't forgotten about it, and I was very very young, but it didn't "scar" me. I chalk it up to being a curious child. Once children find out that they like that feeling, they share it with their friends. Since it didn't go beyond dry humping, if I were you, I wouldn't give it a second thought. Kids these days are doing WAY worse! They are actually giving oral to each other, so what you did was pretty mild compared to some of the other stories I've read on here!

[teko]

I think you need to put it into perspective. At the age you were when this happened, you barely had an idea of what you were doing much less it being sex. I know the fears you must have in this world of everything is abuse mode. It was a childhood thing, she has probably forgotten all about it by now, and you should too.  It is just normal kids doing normal stupid stuff. Now if you were older say 17 and she was 10, I might, maybe raise one eyebrow!  I got mad at my dad one time, and starched his underwear.  He had hemeroids and had a special pad sewn into his underwear, so I starched em.