how is there god or justice?

[eminsay]

My ex was very abusive and left me totally traumatised. I found out that he also tried to murder his ex-wife when i finally got away from him. By the time i had recovered from PTSD, I reported his abuse to the police but it was too late for him to be arrested. It was also very hurtful that one or two mutual friends Only a year or so later, he is happily married to a lovely lady. I contacted her on facebook, assuming he would be abusive to her too. Only apparently he is lovely and kind and gentle to her. How can this be? how without any retribution or justice can he have just changed?

Also, people who didnt know me very well at the time, and didnt really want to believe he did all this, and his family, can now just say i was crazy and made it all up. I find it so hard to get over what he did to me (which included taking me captive for 4 days in his house, taking away my phone, attempting to strangle me, threatening me with a big knife when i said i wanted to go home and interrogating me about my ex-boyfriends using scientology techniques against my will). so no small thing to get over. I always thought one day he would abuse again, and then i would help that girl go to the police and there would be justice. But it isnt, he's just somehow changed and they're blissfully married. how can this be? i just dont believe in god or goodness anymore.

[allmymarbles]

I am guessing you are feeling antagonistic towards his new wife. And you certainly begrudge him his happiness (if, in fact, he is happy). You want the misery to continue, but with you out of the picture. I get that. But you are harming yourself by not turning away and moving on.

[RockRose]

OOOOOOPSSSSS,  I didn't mean "old" women,  I meant "older" women.  I'm assuming you're in your late 20s,  this feeling and experience is common among women in their mid 30's.  

[RockRose]

I agree with cheshchesh,  and have a couple more thoughts.

Your story is very common,  eminsay,  among old women.  The level of abuse is less,  but there are a LOT of ex-wives with children whose husbands leave for another woman.  During the first marriage he's cold and distant,  verbally abusive,  neglectful to the kids,  just a jerk all round.  To her,  and the first family.

Then he meets another woman,  they have an affair,  he leaves the first one and treats the second one like a queen and dotes on the children they have,  and everyone loves that couple and think they're great.

So basically the same story.  

And let me warn you,  friends of the woman who was left get VERY tired of hearing about it.  At first everyone is sympathetic because it's awful,  but after awhile when the woman really can't focus on anything else except what a jerk  - mentally ill - psychotic - man she had married,  it's tiring,  and no one wants to be around them.

So that's my thought.  

Rather than spending all your time trying to plot and seek revenge,  spend your time trying to break free of the bondage this prior relationship has put you in.

Break free.  Picture yourself breaking free.   And go from there.

[cheshchesh819]

You really need to stop worrying about how and what he is up to now, you need to focus on you and getting help to try and overcome what has happened to you,this man has ruined so many years of your life already,dont let him ruin anymore.