When I was 5 years old, my 11 year old aunt came to live with us. I was exposed to sexual activity at the same time through schoolmates. I asked my aunt if she would let me show her what I know. She was willing and for the next two years we had intercourse in secret. She even allowed me and another boy have sex with her at the same time. Since she was old and definitely knew what we did was wrong, I feel she is more to blame than I am. I feel horrible about this situation in my past. It ocasionally affects my sexual relationship with my wife. Should I get professional help?
Dear Margypops, If I cared whether you believed me then I would be a Troll. I wish you had not posted your comment but that's why it's called an open forum. It took me this long to comment because I didn't want to convey only anger.
If anyone has anything constructive to share, I would be glad to hear it.
I am sorry for you bearing your sole, and getting such a rude response. I understand that, that kind of thing can happen at any age. My brother was molested by the 12 year old babysitter when he was 4-6 so she was actually 12-14 and they had intercourse during this time, and I know it can be hard. He is now a full blown addict, living on the streets, because of the stigma and the type of responses people had when he did come forward, like my alcoholic father, saying that sitter was hot and he was lucky etc. I am not sure what I think you should do about the situation except perhaps to speak with a professional if you think talking about it would help. As for your aunt being at fault, really there must have been something in her past that taught her it was okay, and if she was living with your family instead of her own, perhaps she had some issues of her own. I learned about sex at a very young age too, and I am sure you are the same that we knew enough to keep it a secret.
I agree that you should seek professional help. I really don't know if an 11 year old can be held resposible for such things. As sadmomma44 said, your aunt must have had something happen to her as well. I hope you don't feel guilt about what happened. A 5 year old certainly can't know that those things are wrong. Good Luck.
I am truly sorry about what you went through and I know it cannot be an easy reality to face. I agree with two of the above comments regarding your aunt. It could be that her abusing you was a cry for help. In fact i am almost certain that it was as it is not normal for an 11 yr old to do such things. Have you confronted her about it? Have you even tried to get to the bottom of the situation. Many children cant say what happens to them because of fear so they do it to someone else with the hopes that this person will say something to someone else. Or maybe it was normal to her because she was used to being treated that way. Why did she come to live with you?
My aunt came to live with us because her and my grandma had just immigrated to the U.S.Aftere a few months, the found there own place but she would watch me on holidays and the summer. I have spoken to her about it and actually said I was sorry. She told me I didn't have to and just forget about it but I can't. Is a psychologist the one that could help me? What type should I look for?
Pity something like this had to happen so you at such a young age. You are now a grown man and it is troubling you badly. Look for a Psychologist or Psychiatrist but not just anyone one but one who specializes in Trauma issues, these are the same ones that treat those who have PTSD, they are excellent and have all the knowledge that is required. Make sure you find the right professional and repeat "specialized in Trauma".
If it bothers you by all means get some help but remember what happened happened as a child and you are no way responsible and remember children can be very exploritory at 5, i really can not recall what i did at 5 but i remember at a certain age all children play dr and nurse and are curious about one anothers body and that is no sin luck jo
Do as Marylou_II says and consult a psychologist or psychiatrist experienced in trauma situations. It is important for you to deal with this as it is affecting you now. It wont be easy but you can get the help you need so that you can learn to cope. I do hope everything works out for you. Please keep me posted. feel free to drop me a line or two if you want to just talk. I do understand a lot where you are coming from.
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