Tired of being slapped

[katia202]

Its hard to even write about this but I need help and I am too ashamed to tell people I know that my husband has hit me in the past when we have had bad fights. It has happened two times. The first time he slapped me but the second time it was a very strong hit on the side of my head and ear. They happened about 3 months apart from each other. The problem is I am living in his country in our apartment here and have no one else to go to, nor do I want to tell anyone anyway. We have been married almost a year. Sadly I think this type of behavior is common in his country but I have never experienced it before now so I am very upset and not sure what to do. Even after all this he will sometimes playfully slap me which I hate and I will do it back to him and have told him to stop many times. I really don't want to leave him because I love him but I'm afraid its part of the culture for him to think its acceptable. Helpful advice would be appreciated thanks.

[teko]

I hope you decide what to do BEFORE you have children with this man, otherwise, get used to it. To heck with being embarrassed, get out and go back to your homeland, then let em know your not going back. How can you love someone that hits you like you are their possession, unless you see nothing wrong with it as well.

[kenneltech]

You don't say where you are, but I would see if there are any battered women's shelters there and go to one!  They will help you find jobs, you are in a safe place, no one knows where it is.
But if that is not feasible, then call your family and tell them to help you get home.  There is absolutely no reason to be embarrassed, we all make mistakes, and I'm sure your family knows that.  I don't think you can go to the authorities if you are in his country and abuse is the norm there, so I would either see if there are shelters or get ahold of your family, and I'd do it NOW before it escalates, because it iwll.  Look at the other stories on here, these men get worse, not better and you need OUT!  Whatever you do, do not have kids from this guy, it will only complicate things and he may harm the children.   Good luck

[Flavoured]

To completely honest with you, if the culture is ok with it, and you live among these people, then it's most likely going to escalate into full blown beatings. Because if you've only been married for a year (the honeymoon phase) and he has hit you twice, then expect more. Or you can leave him, I assume you don't have any children yet, this makes it a lot more easier if you haven't. It's not an easy decision to make children or no, so you need some proper soul searching, and real dialogue with him. All the best. xx

[AnnieBrooke]

I would tell him the one more hit is a deal-breaker, and prepare to leave.  It will be up to him whether he wants you enough to change this habit or not.

[margypops]

If its the culture I think you speak of, there isnt much you can do men are allowed to do this , you would be best moving back to your own home ,you could try telling him that you cannot accept it,even if he thinks its the norm for him, if he loves you enough he may stop it, if not its a matter of...if you cant stand the heat get out of the kitchen Good Luck

[nikki0207]

You need to tell he or u need to go if he feels he can do it and u take it he will keep doing it. I was abused for 10yrs. Once he hit one of my kids I got out. I felt I was able to I have CPS involved and open court case. my prayers are with you and stay safe. look up shelters u can go to have a plan and go. No body deserves this the min someone touches u in a way thats not wanted its wrong. plz take care. Nikki