Was I possibly abused or just psycho?

[Jem1981]

So I'm not sure what is/ was wrong with me as a child that I had these thoughts/ feelings?  Was I abused and don't remember? Am I some sort of psycho?
     As a child I had very strong sexual thoughts/ desires that I could not get rid of even though I felt terrible about it. It had to have started by at least 6 - 8 years old (possibly earlier). Don't really remember.
   Anyway, I remember things like spending my time on long car trips imagining being married and doing sexual things. I was often fighting off thoughts of getting my sister (5 years younger than me) to do sexual things with me. I hated these thoughts and never followed through with any of them. I also constantly had intrusive thoughts that I was bad and needed to be punished to the extent that I would end up locking myself up in my room when nobody else was around, pulling down my pants and spanking myself with a belt.  I don't have any memory of anyone doing anything to me other than that of a boy pulling down his pants in front of me. His foster mother found us and I just remember adults being upset and me feeling like I did something really bad.

[Nighthawk61]

I think you need to talk to someone now, about your childhood and how it may or may not have affected how you were feeling, or are feeling. There is no shame associated these days with asking to talk to a counselor, so please do this for yourself. I'd love to hear how it goes.