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What are some signs of verbal abuse?
Wasn't sure if I put this in the right category but. I'm in kinda of a bad situation and was just wondering what are the signs I could be in a verbally abusive relationship?
I wanted to add that my husband also tells me that his drinking is no big deal. Denial?
I know this is an old post but I wanted to say thank you for the information on verbal abuse. My husband is verbally abusive when he drinks alcohol. He insults me, criticizes me even in front of other family members and then denies he is verbally abusive. He even tells me there is no such thing as verbal abuse. I am not able to leave at this time due to finances but I am in the process of making this happen.
I spent 10 years with a verbally abusive woman. I am a man who is not ashamed to admit the devastating impact that a situation like that, especially if it is prolonged, can have on a person. Unfortunately, I wasn't aware of what was happening, and to what extent, until I was removed from the situation.
For me being screamed at, insulted, belittled, shamed etc.etc.... just for disagreeing and making mistakes became "normal". I eventually started internalizing these things without even knowing it. I couldn't even get angry without being cast with intense guilt for expressing an emotion that I had every right to express. Be wary of emotional threats and other manipulative tactics used to control you, some are subtle. If your boyfriend demonstrates a parent/child form of communication towards you, do take notice. Ther are many warning signs.
The most important thing that I learned is that YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON. They can only change themselves.
Good luck
For me being screamed at, insulted, belittled, shamed etc.etc.... just for disagreeing and making mistakes became "normal". I eventually started internalizing these things without even knowing it. I couldn't even get angry without being cast with intense guilt for expressing an emotion that I had every right to express. Be wary of emotional threats and other manipulative tactics used to control you, some are subtle. If your boyfriend demonstrates a parent/child form of communication towards you, do take notice. Ther are many warning signs.
The most important thing that I learned is that YOU CANNOT CHANGE ANOTHER PERSON. They can only change themselves.
Good luck
Sabrina hit the nail on the head!Only one thing the last man i was married to started out doing all the verbal and b4 i knew it he started slapin me and verbal next came he was beating me like i was a man it was really bad i was alway's blk and blue im talkin abt real live *** whoopin's.He killed himself 7 yr's ago and i will NEVER EVER go thru that again. Im remarried now and happy my husband dosen't abuse me he is a very nice man.My opinion is u should LEAVE the first chance u get and i wouldn't do it while he is around i would wait till he is gone or u may see the REAL side of him.All men usually start out verbal b4 they go into the beating.You do what u want to do but when it get's deep and u can't go to ur family's house or anything for shelter becuz he say's he will kill them then it's going to be to late GET OUT NOW.Why would u let him talk to u so bad in the first place and after a few times of him doing it iwould have been out of there.
Thanks guys for all your help. I ask because it has to do with my boyfriend and has been getting worse by the day. All the things you guys have been telling me basically describes how he is towards me every day.
Thanks again : ]
Thanks again : ]
Verbal abuse is anything that is said to you by anyone that makes you feel intimidated, put down, less than human or down right mean. We all make a choice as to how we will or will not allow ourselves to be treated at any given time. How long you put up with or tolerate it ends with you and your own self worth.
You simply do not buy into it, tolerate it, or enable it in any way. You distance yourself from it. You cannot control anyone but you. If you allow it, it says alot about you. Do not be a victim, and put an abrupt stop to it. I am assuming you are not living with parents and are a minor, other than that the power lies with you.
You simply do not buy into it, tolerate it, or enable it in any way. You distance yourself from it. You cannot control anyone but you. If you allow it, it says alot about you. Do not be a victim, and put an abrupt stop to it. I am assuming you are not living with parents and are a minor, other than that the power lies with you.
Sabrina covered it pretty well. Possessive, paranoid, jealous, manipulative, and controlling personalitites tend to display verbal abuse as though it were nothing.
Sabrina is giving you good advice. I was in a verbally abusive relationship, and it consisted of me always being wrong, the blame for everything. He said things to tear away at my self-esteem, and my feeling of self worth. They want to beat you down for several reasons, it makes them feel big, and they don't want you to have any confidence about anything. They can make you start questioning that "maybe" it is me! This is their goal, to make you the bad guy and convince you that it is you that is or creates the problem. You don't want to be around anyone who says anything bad about you or your abilities, they have a hidden agenda. I hope this helps and take care.
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If verbal abuse consists of threats, insults, ways of controlling, you should seek help for yourself. It can be caused by anything, a bad day, co dependancy, abandonment issues, anger problems, control problems, addiction, ect.
Some signs are, Lies Of Omission. It is a term used in court, which refers to withholding information that is crucial, keeping a secret which should not be kept, not telling you the whole story. Lies In General. And withholding their thoughts, as in refusing or seeming uncomfortable to open up to you about their thoughts, or even what they did during the day. You never want to be with someone who acts blocked off and secretive from you, it is a bad sign, if not just one for verbal abuse.
Bad humoured jokes that are used as a way to insult you.
Criticizing, accusing, and blaming you. If you say something they will turn your words around and make it seem hostile. They will do anything to encourage a fight, to push you away. They will act innocent as soon as you get riled up, in a way they are trying to make you think you are going crazy.
They will insult you in numerous ways to gain control. They will compare you to things they know will bother you. They will undermine your accomplishments.
They brag a lot, and never tend to admit to failure. They see themselves too superior. They will only ever like to talk about themselves, and a lot, but their talk is shallow, and they get enraged or turn mute, try to escape by an acting charade, as soon as they have to delve deeper into their hopes, fears, and other real stuff like such, because it scares them to admit mistakes or failure within themselves.
You can also learn to read body language, and take cues from facial expressions.
An abusive person has body language that makes them look too confident, making them look superior, and they will act to fit in anywhere they go. They usually maintain piercing eye contact, but they stay away from physical contact during social interactions.
You might also want to google body language signs to tell if someone is lying, or angry.
These signs can just mean that the person is not committed. They don't necessarily mean something is wrong with them. But there is a high chance that these signs are valid, and also a chance that a verbally abusive person, has a lot of baggage that can be destructive, and possibly dangerous, and in that sense can possibly become a physically abusive person, so be very careful. It's a small possibility, but in any way, verbal abuse is just as damaging and you need to be able to love yourself. I hope everything goes okay.
- sabrina