soo tired of it

[stressedmomma87]

***~~~Okay so my post here is also posts from the divorce and break-ups forum... I just want to get more opinons advice and help on my situation~~~***

so im sure everyone hears the same thing over and over again... but i need help/advice.... I have been with my husband for 2years known each other for 9 years... we have 2 children together (5 and 1) but im just now opening my eyes to the pain an hurt he has caused me now and over the years... let me give you alittle background a little over 2 years ago before we got married i made the mistake by cheating on him. he stuck with me tho called me really bad names treated me like crap. i stuck it out trying to keep our family together.. well last year, i was 9 months pregnant. on our 1yr wedding anniversary he wanted to go party an walk the track, i wanted to go home. the night resulted in him beating me up and 2 days later leaving me for another girl.. 2months go by an hes calling me saying he messed up wanting to have our family back, i fell for it while he made all these promises we did get back together i helped him thru a legal bind he ended up getting into while we were seperated.. now for the past 6 months i have been living thru emotional and verbal abuse an seldomly physical. he constantly tells me im a bad mom and treats me like a child, parties on the weekend instead of spending time as a family (he say i keep him prisoner but he has no job or money an he wants to spend my money on seeing his friends than payin bills) still has yet to fill those promises like he said a year ago &&i have very few friends bcz of him and half of my family wont talk to me bcz of him... im finally opening my eyes to whats going on, an i want out but im afraid he'll take the kids from me... my mom said i was able to go back to her house but i have to do everything myself. [ex: get conseling, restraining order, divorce ect.] is there any other advice i can get to make my transition safe and easy? (mind you he has no idea im planning to leave him, just going to pack up an move on.)
any thoughts, advice, help would be appreciated!
thank you

not to mention i found a text in his phone the other day when he was talking to another girl while i was asleep an he had said "he was to wild to get married" "I watch my neice and nephew during the day" (which he is a stay at home DAD)  wtf.... he clams he was just having a conversation an didnt know if she would keep talking if he told her he was married an had kids...

This just keeps making my decision final to leave him, he is semi violent, when he gets made (or in his words when i get him mad) he tells me to leave bcz he is going to throw some punches... Why should i leave its my house?! thats not a good enviroment for our kids.

I wish this was just easier :(

this past weekend he an my son went on a camping trip it was to hot for me an baby girl to go so we stayed at my parents sat. night i drank a lil bit just to loosen up, well hubby calls at 11:30 at night demanding i come get him(so he could get his gps charger -court ordered-) or we're done even after i told him i couldnt drive.. so later that night he sends me a text saying were done.. i text him back saying your right we are done i dont wanna be married to you anymore, he tried to turn everything around to get me to come back saying he'll change and blah blah blah same sh!t i heard before.. so sunday i went to the house to grab the kids an i stuff.. monday they boys came back from camping but still have yet to get my son back.. its not fair this whole custody matter thing... he doesnt have a job, license, stable place to live... && he on gps monitoring (kinda like house arrest) for a domestic voilence case from when we split up last year (witnesses say he didnt do anything but trail set for july plus i know what he did to ME)

I cant stop thinking of everything he's done to me... why!?! im a good person i've helped him countless time, giving him whatever he wants or needs... an he treats me like crap!!!  why couldnt he just love me an be their for me.. i didnt deserve any mistreatment. i loved him so much i wanted our family to work sooo bad.... );  I contacted my lawyer to file for custody an i start conseling next week...

Okay i feel like i have a problem that i cant control, well.... As hubby an i are taking steps to divorce. Im the one leaving (as other post states, i cant handle how he treats me, we have no trust for each other) yesterday we met up at the park so we can see the kids and spend time with them (he has our son with him- i have our daughter with me) he keeps bugging me to come home for one last night of "fun" half of me doesnt want to half of me does (i feel like he has this pull on me, to where he knows all the right things to say.. which makes me give in) i have always had a hard time telling him "no" ... i can i be more firm that its over. he see it as we both equally hurt each other an is wondering if all this is for real or a punishment.. of course its real.. ughh he is messing with me head!!! im starting to feel crazy, an i know if i keep talking to him im going to start to miss him, an what i'd hope to have an help him so we could have a normal family... but i know our relationship is far from normal. I only talk to him, bcz he has our son an i dont want him or anyone to think, i dont care or want to see our son. bcz i do!!! i just want to be left alone for awhile til i can talk to a conselor... how do i go about tell him?!?! im so lost....
our son is 5 will be starting kindergarden in Aug., hubby does not have a job or license an in the state im from its consider a civil matter as hubbies and wives have equal rights to the children. so the is nothing i can do until custody an vistiation is worked out thru the court. yes he was physically abusive in the past tho he has not layed a hand on me in now a year, tho his words an how he picks my mind bothers me...

I know i dont wanna go, but how do i tell hubby without him thinking i dont wanna see my son?

[Nighthawk61]

i'm so sorry, i just read the last part, he's not been physical for a year, i'm really tired right now.
i'm so sorry that your son is with him and not with his sister, you need a good lawyer to keep these kids together. I had a friend once that was going through the same thing so they kept the kids in the family home, and got one apartment on the side, and the kids stayed in the home and the parents took turns looking after them in the home. I think that this would be best for the children...

[Nighthawk61]

If  i was in the same position, and was planning to move on because of it, i would be smart enough to talk to your family doctor a few times about the abuse, and i would talk to family members so they also got collaborate my story, then, when i was ready to move on i would wait until he was drinking maybe, and abusive and i would call the police and have him charged with domestic abuse. It will be much harder for him to take the kids or have the chance to during unsupervised visits. This seems harsh, but... these are your children, and your not making this up., it's bad enough that it's happening , you might as well use it to protect your children's and your rights.
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. Fare thee well. Liz

[ku111]

I think he has threatened you one too many times.  You do what's best for you and your children.  File, get temporary custody and never look back.  It is what is safest for you and your children.  No one deserves to be treated like this.  I wish you the very best!

[specialmom]

This is a legal issue.  I posted on the other forum about this for you.  You have your son with someone you claim has been violent.  The court system is set up to protect children.  You should move forward with the legal end of leaving your husband and push the issue of either full custody due to his violent nature or at the very least shared custody if you can't prove he is violent.  

goodluck.  Don't wait.