rape

[gild]

when i was 12 years old i was raped by my brother, now i am 28 years old. i get pain during my mensuration cycle. i have become a nun ( religious person) will there be any other complications. please help me.

[faithfulchild]

I am sorry that you had gone through such a terrible ordeal. Unfortunately i can relate. However, What you speak of sounds like normal menstrual pain to me. I am wondering though if you hadn't known that already. Is this the first time this is happening?

Also is there something else you would like to discuss?? You said you haven't confronted your brother or have mentioned any of this to your family. I understand why you wouldn't. I pretty much am doing the same thing.

You came here asking for help and i believe that this is a pretty good step forward. Since you have chosen to be a nun, that pretty much ruled out half of the potential problems that you might face ( that is those concerned with intimacy in and building relationships). Which leads me to ask, why did you become a nun?

The other problems might be faced with your inner self. These include self esteem issues, boundary issues, feeling disconnected from people, guilt, shame, repulsiveness regarding sex and the like,  and an overall of lack of appreciation for yourself. Do you struggle with these? If not then i guess you are doing well.

You can text me privately if any of these bothers you.Otherwise i will keep you in my prayers.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

am sorry she went through that i hope she had others that was there for her and helped her through it.  i never said i was better than you , i just dont tell others to get over it and move on, i know they have feelings to and dont want to hurt others.  if you have never been Raped than you dont know how it feels, words are easy to say but not easy to live if it was you. i hope you have a Blessed day

[allmymarbles]

I forgot to finish the story about my niece. After years of sympathetically listening to her and trying to be helpful without success, we all tuned out. That is when she got on with her life.

[allmymarbles]

You are not offering help. You are offering pity. In what way does that aid the victim? I don't notice you making any helpful suggestions. You seem more intent on telling the world that you are a better person than I am.

And, by the way, I have a niece who has been through the same thing. She got lots of pity and spent her life living off that (and enjoying the victim status). The past cannot be undone. The future is wide open. There is a time to move on.

[heartfluttersflyawayplz]

wow allmy marbles, you havea problem to , you dont talk to others like that, what if it was you or your daughter am sure you would want help and not someone you to just move on. i think best advice is if you cant help and talk nice dont talk at all.

[allmymarbles]

It is time to move on. No one has had a perfect past and granted yours was worse than most. But others have survived the same abuse without ruining their lives. You are not the first person I have known whose childhood was marred by rape. I repeat - move on.

[gild]

thanks for your valuable suggestions. may God bless you.
i will ask help through medications.God has intervened a lot in my life, today what i am is because of his mercy and grace.

[imanaddict]

Pain during menstruation could be severe cramping, which is normal during a cycle. Do you have pain anytime other than menstruation? If so, then you need to visit a Dr. There are so many reasons why women have pains in that region. You could have an infection, or possibly kidney stones. It could be absolutely anything!

[gild]

thanks for the concern, i didnt receive any help. nor did i ever confront my brother. i dont want any problem in the family, but still i am desparte

[tcom]

I am very sorry to hear about your story. It's a sad one but it's also one that is too often reported. I am just wondering if you ever received therapy from someone who has experience in dealing with these types of issues? This is important.

You have already managed a possible complication. You chose to be a nun and I am not sure your reasoning for this but I do know it's very difficult for both women who have dealt with these issues in therapy and those who haven't to be in relationships in the future. Perhaps the closest experience you may have had with this is just being around a male person who may do nothing wrong at all but some of those feelings come back.

Can I ask if this is something that was ever reported or did your brother ever receive help for this?

As far as the menstraution cycle, I agree you should see a doctor for this. Maybe it's unrelated, maybe not but you muct make sure in order to stay healthy. I wish there were words to help you with your pain, but I have none at all aaccept to hope this gets easier for you. I admire your strength to be able to come on here and ask for support.

[SweetiePie411]

Like margypops said, it would be a good idea to check in with a doctor. There may be something damaged down there. I wish you the best of luck!

[rafe44]

May God Bless you

[margypops]

I am very sorry for what happened to you, The pain may not be anything to do with the trauma , it would be a good idea to go to the Doctor and have a check up to make sure there is no damage.You have turned to religion and I hope this is helping you deal with what has happened to you, was he convicted ?If you want to talk about it you may PM anyone on our forum ,best wishes let us know how you are doing .