what is normal behaviour for a father and daughtet?

Question

Ok here is my issue. A few months ago my daughter and I moved in with my boyfriend and his 10 year old daughter. His daughters mother hasn't been a part of her life since she was 2. Before We moved in together my daughter would make comments about my boyfriend and his daughter acting as if they were dating. Other people in my family brought their behaviors to my attention as well. I wrote it off as people are raised differently and thought nothing of it. Well now We live together and I see what everyone was talking about. He is very defensive over her. Not protective but defensive. He goes in the bathroom with her when she takes a shower. 
They constantly touch each other. Patting and slightly rubbing her butt. She puts her hands up his shirt to rub his chest. Very kissy. She sits on his lap in underwear and rubs her nose along his neck and kisses on his neck. If he kisses me or flirts with me he immediately does the same to her. He climbs in the bed with her in his underwear...knowing that's all she has on herself. If he pushes her away she gets infuriated...to the point of she put feces on my clothes. I could keep going for hours. She's more developed than most 10 year olds and she masturbates frequently. I'm really concerned. Can someone help?

remember_when · Answer

Thank you for your support and understanding. As of Monday of this past week my daughter and I have moved back to our home town. Things seem to be going smoothly. I have been talking with my step daughters grandmother to get her into counseling. She need help.

overopiates · Answer

I believe the poster was referring to his daughte(ur step daughter)otherwise that made no sense ur daughter isnt messed up and need help she is quite intellegent,knows what she is observinf is wrong&doesnt need help to figure that out.u sound like a great mom n a bad,weird and gross situation u c it and r getting away from it.Not sure how long u have dealt w/it and cnt believe u didnt run faster(but I get that u were possibly trying to figure out n the befinning if u were overexaggerating and u r NOT).Get ur daughter away from this like yesterday and next time dnt jump into something w/o knowing what everyone is talking about.U WERE WARNED BY HIS FAMILY THATS HUGE.Next time listen!!!

allmymarbles · Answer

Not every unfortunate experience in life is fodder for a therapist. Given your daughter's instinctive understanding and her ability to talk to you about it is as healthy as it gets, especially as you have both analyzed the situation properly. That said, if you are not confident in counseling your daughter, then you might want someone else to take over.

allmymarbles · Answer

An experience like this is not necessarily harmful to your daughter. It has shown her abnormal behavior and she recognized it as such. During their lives our children are exposed to undesirable situations such as these. We could not protect them from all of them, even if it were desirable. They learn from them and mature, provided their home environment is sound.

remember_when · Answer

He had no reactions to the feces. Just said hmmm. Gayle..My daughter is not sick!! Yes I understand she may need some counseling but shes not as you say ....disturbed. his daughter is..without a doubt

Gaylefluffy1165 · Answer

Get to gettin', Remember - Can't believe you've waited this
long. Your boyfriend's a sexual predator - you should've called the police.
Meanwhile, your daughter is seriously disturbed.
Do what you can to find therapy for her.  She's a very sick little girl.
Sorry to sound angry but I'm a survivor and I feel in my bones
that this guy should be in jail.
Good Luck and Blessings for you both - Elizabeth

allmymarbles · Answer

Isn't wonderful how instinctive the daughter is? That is a quality we often lose in adulthood, substituting it with a desire to see what we want to see.

BabyG4ErTls · Answer

Bail. It's twisted and he'll drive you crazy & start telling you you're just jealous if you keep at him about it. Set the example for your daughter who obviously knows it's wrong anyway. 
Btw, what was his reaction to the feces incident??

BabyG4ErTls · Answer

Bail. It's twisted and he'll drive you crazy & start telling you you're just jealous if you keep at him about it. Set the example for your daughter who obviously knows it's wrong anyway. 
Btw, what was his reaction to the feces incident??

remember_when · Answer

Thanks guys. I've been told they are all a loving family even extended family. Atleast now I know how I feel isn't wrong or that I'm crazy. Yes We have somewhere to go. Making arrangements tomorrow.

Nighthawk61 · Answer

There is no way in this world or any other that I would subject myself to this kind of behavior, and certainly not a child of mine. When are you leaving this sick situation? How far and how fast can you go? I can't imagine for a minute a normal healthy woman putting up with this kind of nonsense. I feel bad for the both of them, but it seems to be of their choosing, that's not to say that his child had any choice in her early upbringing, but what is your question exactly? Don't you know that this is sick behavior, is there really any question in your mind? This does sound like a post, verbatim, given earlier, and the answers are the same. It's sick!!!

allmymarbles · Answer

Find another boyfriend. This one has too much baggage - and you have your own daughter to protect. By the way, whether or not his relationship with his daughter has a sexual component. it is unseemly on many counts and nothing to involve yourself in.

remember_when · Answer

My daughter knows its not right...she is very outspoken and has said something about it several times. My boyfriend has raised his daughter pretty much alone. His exwife had no relationship at all with her step daughter. In his words...she was too jealous of his daughter and that was ultimately the demise of their marriage. However the daughter acts as if shes the wife. What she says goes