Was it my fault?

[brittmarie06]

I grew up in an abusive household, and I've been around it my whole life. Verbal and physical abuse were the norm in my family but about a year ago I delt with sexual abuse for the first time. I'm not sure what to do.. I don't want to go into detail. I'm still dealing with everything but when I told my mom she didn't believe me and I think that's what hurts even more than the abuse apart. I just can't help but feel like its my fault....

[margypops]

Thats so hard and MOm should believe you, you were also a minor which made it worse .I hope you dont have to spend anytime near him now .All you can do is try to put it behind you and move on with your life you are now an adult and life is ahead of you ,you have college and will be busy enough Sorry this happened to you, its hard you could always seek some therapy .Good Luck..  

[brittmarie06]

I told my therapist and they told the right people but nothing really got solved. My mom was mad at me for telling my therapist, she called me selfish. My mom isn't a monster but in this situation, I can't say I'll forgive her for the way she handled everything. It was her husband who abused me, I'm 18 now but I was about to be 17 when it happened... I remember praying the whole time thinking God why me? I finally got the courage to talk about it but my mom said I needed to think about her happiness. She chose him over me. I'll never understand why. As I'm going to college I realize I need to let my past go so that I can move on so that's why I became a part of this and went to therapy, I just want to finally be rid of it all!

[allmymarbles]

Yes, go to the police, but if you are very young, a teenager say, then bring a female adult with you, perhaps an understanding relative. Otherwise seek the help of a school counselor.

[thatquietgirl]

Turn the person who did it into the police.  If he's done it to you, what's to say he won't do it to someone else or hasn't done it to someone else already?  He needs to be registered as a sex offender and dealt with.  And as Margy said, seek some counseling.  Without it, it can affect you and future relationships quite a bit.  I've watched the affects of sexual abuse that has been ignored rather than dealt with in my mother and father's relationship (her father sexually abused her growing up); it has caused a lot of tension and unhealthy views of sex.

I'm sorry your mother didn't believe you.  People do tend to go into denial about these things, not out of a desire to hurt the person abused but out of a desire to believe you're ok or that the other person isn't really so bad.  You did the right thing going to her, but if she isn't willing to protect you, you need to take matters into your own hands.  You can file a report with the police.

[margypops]

Unfortunately moms are often in denial especially if the abuser is another family member ., not certain what age you are. It depends on what kind of abuse you are talking about when passing blame .If you are a minor I would tell you that you are not to blame, even as an adult if he forced himself upon you , you are not to blame . It does sound as if some counseling would help you ,help you get to the stage of talking it out.Hope you feel better soon, I am sorry your Mom doesnt believe you ..