Actual writings on pateint charts by doctors.

[Mangee]

These are professional men.

1-She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states that she was very hot in bed last night.
2-Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
3-On the second day the knee was better,and on the third day it disappeared.
4-The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
5-Discharge status: alive but without my permission.
7-Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
8-The patient refused autopsy.
9- The patient hs no previous history of suicides.
10-The patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.
11-Patient's medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the last three days.
12= The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
13- She is numb from her toes down.
!4- While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent home.
!5- The skin was moist and dry.
16- Occasional ,constant infrequent headaches.
17- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
18- Reactal examination revealed a normal sized thyroid.
19- She stated she had been costipated for most of her life,until she got a divorce.
20- I saw your patient today.who is still under our car for physical thereapy.
21-Both breasts are equal,and reactive to light and accomodation.
22-Examination of gentalia reveals that he is circus sized.
23- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
24- The patient was to have a bowel resection. Howver, he took a job as a stock broker instead.
25- Skin: somewhat pale but present.
26- The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
27-Patient was seen in consulatation by Dr. Blanc, who we felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
28-Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
29- Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
30- Patient was aggresive, obnoxious, and foul mouthed but otherwise polite.
31- I sent the patient home where he died before .
32-He was given a brain scan which showed he had nothing there.      


  




  
  

I have a cadillac on my eye.

Clerk:   I`m the cashier
Patient:   I`m catholic.

Patient having just left the clinic, comes rushing back:   Nurse, I had an accident on the street.
Nurse:   are you hurt.
Patient :   No, but my pills got crushed

Nurse:   these are directions on how to use your birth control pills.   Guard it with your life.
One week later:
Nurse:   have you followed my directions about your pills.
Patient:   I don`t know
Nurse:   What do you mean.   I wrote it down for you.
Patient:   but you said it was very important, so my husband put it in his safety deposit box at the bank

      



  
  
  
    
  

  



      

[narla]

Girls,girls get your minds out of the gutter,the poor doctor just mixed up circumsized

[dominosarah]

that YOU are a perv!!

[vicki595]

Sara~   That's the ONLY one that stood out...wink  wink!    

Oh....Lordy!  What does that say about us??    LOL

[dominosarah]

that is the one that stood out for me too!!  Go figure~~~~

[Mangee]

I get these from family and friends. Usually by Email.Some I get on the net.

[vicki595]

Circus sized!!!   LMAO

[dominosarah]

Where do you get these!!!  Too funny...