Alcohol Detox

[learning1349]

My 27 year old son detoxed from vodka and continued on for two months of rehab.  When he was discharged he relapsed in two days when he ran into his old roommate from rehab.  This was two weeks ago and now he is in a Motel6 in a small town in Mississippi, doesn't know a soul and is drinking up to a pint of vodka per day.  He says he is miserable and wants to stop, has a court date in another town on July 31 but can't seem to come off of the alcohol.  He says when he wakes up in the morning he feels quite sick until he takes a drinkl.  

He is terrified of detoxing by himself without medication.  The first detox was handled with Tranzine and valium.  He has no money and I am paying for his food and hotel from California by Credit Card.  I've poured thousands of dollars into him during the two month rehab and have nothing left.

He is depressed and very anxious and the other hospital in town which has a rehab he went to see, was assessed and told they couldn't help him.  Because he was just out of rehab, I guess.  We are
desperate.  If we could get him detoxed again I think he would really work the program.  He had been quite happy in rehab and hopeful.

Can he go to a new dr and expect that they will give him a prescription for Tranzine?  What should he do?

[learning1349]

"loved to death"----I really hear that, bdoon.  I know I've been an enabler some of the time but it's hard to distinguish between truly helping and being co-dependant.

Your story about your cousin...wow...what a tragedy.

I pray that your son will be able to pull himself out of the cycle.  It's hard to know how much is just his age.  My son is 27 and it's getting harder to tell myself he is still a kid, though he is obviously very immature.  He really needs to detox right now and I don't know how he can do it.  I am going to  try everyone's suggestions and I really thank you for everyone's support.

[bdoon]

I think you should fly out and bring him back and put him in a hospital and tell him it is the last time and mean it......you might be enabling him. I know exactly how you feel...I have a 21 old son who went to court this week for his first dui. It is so hard when you love someone. I had to disconnect from my son for the last few weeks before he went to trial because he was acting like he just didn't care...a state of denial. Fortunately or maybe unfortunately the judge was a friend of my mother who is grandmother of my son, The judge must have recognized the name because all she did was give my son probation before judgement and a $200 fine. He had a dui, carrying 2 concealed weapons and driving 110 mph. ..and all he got was pbj. I am more worried now cause he got off so easy . I asked the lawyer to talk to the probation officer and make sure my son gets stipulated to AA meetings and community service. He is a very good looking kid with a great personality and every one likes him. I had a cousin just like that who at the age of 41 died in a trash dumpster in Miami ...he had been stabbed but at first they didn't know if he died from the stabbing or all the diseases he had. His wife (a registered nurse he met in prison) and his kids had not seen him (by court order) in a couple years. At one time he owned a half dozen cars, a couple of houses and was working with these Columbians running an interstate smuggling operation...he was riding the crest of a high wave which all came crashing down as all waves do. He was the good looking guy that everyone liked...even the prison hacks , some came to his funeral. Mr Loveable who left this world in pain and causing pain to his 10 brothers and sisters, his parents and his own wife and kids. No one could understand but the truth was he was "loved to death".

[awakan]

When When will I ever learn that one of course your his mother my apologies. I think being a single father has warped my sense of reality..Usually it is the mother that senses these things about their children and is often the one a child turns to when they have something in life try to steal their heart. So let me say you are a wonderful mother to care so much to go to these lengths I hope you are able to find something for him..Again excuse me for being so presumptuous .....a-wakan  

[lady_m]

Thank you Shel.  Yeah, I got sober a year ago (June 4th to be exact) and haven't had a drink since.  It was a hard hard thing and it caused a lot of pain for my family.  That is why my husband started therapy again last week.  It's weird, it is the alcohol that was the hardest for him to get through with me, but it is the pills that were harder for me to fight.

[learning1349]

thank you all so much for your kind and loving words.  I am actually his mother.  His father goes along with how I feel but gets upset when he relapses.  

I definitely take all of your advice but even more importantly, I will tell him to find a computer and get on this website.  He needs the kind of support that you all are giving!

He tells me I just don't understand but I understand  people in pain.  Calijen, I hope he can talk to you since you've been through exactly what he has.

Again thank you all!  You give me hope!

[shelby74]

I am so so sorry for the pain you and your family are going through.  I am sorry but I do not have experience with rehab or alcohol.  I just wanted you to know that we are here if you just need to talk.

Jen I did not know you were an alcoholic honey.  It brings new meaning to me when I see Intervention with the alcoholics.  I see how much pain they are in.  I am so sorry jen.

[lady_m]

I feel for you so much.  I am so much like your son.  I am a 30 year old alcoholic that drank vodka from morning til night.  I was the same way, I would literally wake up and be so sick until I got that first shot or two down.  I never mixed it with anything, just drank it all day from the bottle.  I am so sorry.  I never realized how much I was hurting my family until I finally got sober, for good.

He is so lucky to have you.  I wish I had more advice for you, but everything you are doing for him is wonderful.

[TimH2]

I don't know much about rehab, but I pray for your son to overcome his addiction. I would try to find a doctor in your area and explain the situation. You are a very caring and loving father. Best of luck and God Bless.

Tim

[awakan]

learning I am sorry and know how you feel it does appear that rehab centers care only about the loot, but within some of these places work people who have been their and will fight to help those who have need..i-go-hi-da-quu-ge-sv...u-yu-gi  (forever faith) a-wakan

[awakan]

I know it is tough but you can help him and you are a loving father and he a lucky son good luck and my heart is with you and check halfway houses too my best to your son keep the vision..a-wakan

[learning1349]

Thank you awakan for your reply.  I will look on the internet for a detox center.  Would a dr seeing him for the first time give him the meds on an outpatient basis do you think?

Again, thanks for the tip...he certainly qualifies as indigent.  What I have learned throughout this ordeal  is that the whole addiction rehab business seems to be a for profit business and he keeps getting turned away.  It's very surprising.

[awakan]

learning get ahold of a phone book for the area he lives in from the library if they have them some do. Look for alcohol detox centers in the area sometimes you can get someone into a free program but it takes leg work some have what they call an indigent fund and it will pay for the services , it is worth a try or have him go to a doctor for detox meds . Only problem with that is sometimes the person won't or can't take them responsibly. Check it out and good luck ...a-wakan