Pain killers cost me in ways I never knew

[eyeofhorus2010]

My wife and I have been fortunate in that we've always worked hard and with a few lucky breaks going our way we've been able to build success in our lives to a point that leaves us extremely comfortable. All these years of drug abuse didn't have an affect on us in that regard. Or did it?

On a hunch and mostly out of curiousity I pulled the yearly financials for the past ten years at the company I'm at.

Making a graph I can see that there has been a steady climb every year in revenue and profits up until 2006 and at that point it flattens out and then slightly decreases over the last two years( because of the economy I had to make a few extrapulations in regard to industry downturn and so forth).

2006 was the year I fell back into pain killers with a vengance. It was also about the time I started letting lower level managers have more latitude in their departments. I had pretty much checked out and was on auto pilot. Now that I'm a little more clear headed I see that productivity and efficiency have fallen off.

My point being that if my business suffered this badly then surely I short changed my family. I thought I was doing well but I now see that I let opprotunities slide by that I can never recover.

I'm going to start turning over every stone in my life and see what else is under there.  

[DayToTry]

Just checking in to see if you guys got that time travel key stroke figured out.  I got some things I gotta fix ...

[pillfree21]

My only suggestion would be to learn from your mistakes of the past, but not allow them to create a larger sense of guilt and despair which will only make you feel regret and could contribute to increased depression.  I often think of the money and opportunities I wasted during my use and it boggles my mind, but then I come to the realization that I can not get these days back, but I can make sure the ones in front of me are better....just my thought.

Congrats on your clean time and ability to think and see things more clearly.

[eyeofhorus2010]

I know what you mean by hoping nobody notices your not doing anything at work. I had to use a lot of smoke and mirrors and slight of hand this past year in creating the illusion of work.

So about this problem of hitting the wrong keys: Is that what got this moved to a new forum? If so, then see if you can figure out if there is a key sequence that allows time travel. lol  We'll go back and slap ourselves silly before this all became a problem.

[dede2121]

lol. i have a new computer and i keep hitting the wrong buttons. i will leave this post so i dont cause more chaos.

[dede2121]

it is amazing what you see with a clear head. i cant wait til i start work on thursday. this will be the first job i have had in awhile not on pills. i will actually  feel like working instead of just showing up and hoping nobody notices that i am not doing anything.

i like you am seeing what those pills have done to my life.

forgive me if i posted twice. i am doing something wrong with my computer and

[dede2121]

yep since being clean it is easy to  see how those pills cost us alot of things.
i will work on these things with a clear head and everytime i think of a pill i will have to be strong and remember the crap that they caused me.

[eyeofhorus2010]

Yes I am! I've used a few times since I quit the all day every day routine back in August. I was thinking this past weekend that I was at about 3 weeks with no use. I got my day planner out yesterday and back tracked November. It looks as though today makes 26 days clean. That's pretty good though I've hit 30 to 40 days of sobriety a few times before only to fall short of my goal of going clean forever. I've never been 60 days clean so that's the milestone I'm shooting for before I start patting myself on the back.

I gotta say, being here with you guys sure is making it seem easier this time. Confidence is high!

[MV77]

HI there!  I like when you said you are going to turn over every stone in your life and see what else is under there.....bet you will be surprised.  Good thoughts going your way in finding your TRUE happiness.  : )

[jeffclowns]

so are you clean now or no..???