Can I be Honest???

[TimH2]

I would not be as honest on the other board.

[TimH2]

My liver is great and I had all the blood work. I just can't quit for my wife because this has a real hold on me. I would like to tell you I will do it for my family. I can't feel happiness anymore without pills. I really can't and that scares the **** out of me.

[hopeless]

I take them for the same reasons...they calm me down and make me happy too.

I get this feeling like "everything will be ok"...this is what i miss so damm bad.

Without them, i feel lost!  Like a NOBODY! I need them to get through each day, to have that feeling. Now without ANY i am awful, not myself, wanna lock myself in a room and stay alone... I hate this feeling i wanna get better, but God, i love how they make me feel...Does it ever get better?

Me

[ilikevics]

Then don't say anything to him.  What do you see yourself doing?  If I may ask......

I only quit for my hubby.  It was killing him.  He hated it.  I don't really need them, I wanted them, and sometimes I still do, but he means the world to me and I just can't continue to be selfish like that anymore.  And omg, my liver.  Geez.

Sheri

[TimH2]

I really want to do this, I don't like being a addict. I want to live my life and not have to go through this anymore.

[TimH2]

I think there is something missing in my brain chemistry. I am going to look into it. The reason I take the pills is because they calm me down and make me happy.

[ilikevics]

That sucks, not that you love him, but the situation you are in.