Getting Clean/Using While Working

The new girl is at it again ;) I was wondering if you all have jobs, and if so how has this affected your work?

I landed a great job almost 6 months ago. At the time I was doing well with tapering off. I had also just graduated with an Associate's Degree and just had surgery which helped with a lot of my pain issues (hence being able to start tapering off the pills). Life had done a complete 180 and I was on top of the world!

Then I started to relapse. I started to take pills at work. At first it appeared that this was helping my productivity, but now I see that it caused more harm than good. Of course they made me out of it and drowsy. I started making mistakes that I don't believe I would have made it if weren't for the pills. Oh and we can't forget how apathetic the little buggers make you...so not only was I messing up, but I didn't really give a rat's @$$ about it. The past few weeks have been really bad. I've taken a lot of leave because I've basically been depressed. I sunk really low before I told everyone the truth.

Now I'm trying to get clean again, but it is too late? I sure hope not. Any bad that comes from this is my own fault, and I'm just going to chalk it up to living and learning, but I really hope that I can turn things around and keep this wonderful job.  

[dominosarah]

It is never to late to get clean and start fresh.  Dig deep within yourself, face those demons and deal with them.  That is why we preach aftercare.  There is no reason why you cant turn this around and keep your job and be better than before.  The only thing standing in your way is you so go for it, you can do this!!        sara

[quitinoxys]

We all have had our demons trying to control us, but you have to get control on your demons. I am also a chronic pain sufferer but last month after 120 days clean when I was on travel I had to face my demons. Fortunatley I logged on to this forum and received tremedous support and DID NOT use. As Sara said you need to get aftercare to learn the tools you need to stay clean. You will bponce back again just always be on guard as your demons are just waiting for a moment of weakness to pounce. I wish you luck and I know you will make it.

[Nicole1105]

Thanks guys :) I know I can turn things around if I work extremely hard, but part of me is still really scared and pessimistic. I always think what if it's too late? What if I'll never catch up/get back on track? That's probably good ol' pill head talking...*I* know that I can do this!