Help,I need some opinions!!!

[harley79]

Ok, how do I make a long story short?  OK, I'm married, same man, father of children for 10 years. We have 2 boys and 1 girl. My husband has worked on and off way too many times to count. He has been diagnosed with depression, bi-polar and sometimes I tend to think a bit of scitzo. He smokes weed, has for like 8 years, if we have it, it'll be gone same day. I can't keep up with him.Anyways here's the problem. I have been taking OC's for about 4 1/2 to 5 years, on and off. There was a period he took them too.  One day he decided he didn't want to take them anymore and told me not to take them.  Well  I didn't stop taking them. I have been hiding it from him. I do have chronic back pain and a few other problems, which is why I didn't stop them. Right now I generally only take 20mg in the morning. I do feel I'm addicted but I can stop taking them. Like today...no OC's. One year ago I was buying tramadol off the internet and didn't tell him.  Needless to say he found out 3 months later, flushed my pills, so cold turkey off of those. Boy am I glad I don't take them anymore, the withdrawls from tramadol are worse for me than the withdrawl's from oc's. Ok, so a month or so ago he found out I took a pill, then a couple weeks later same thing happened. So now he can tell when I'm on them, my pupils get pinned. So now I'm a LIAR, he dosen't trust me. I admitted I had a problem, which I don't think is very huge.I feel I can overcome the addiction, the mental addiction-thinking about getting an oc is the worst part for me. Like I know in a week or so they will be available to me. I want my husband but he thinks I must be cheating on him all the time.  I am the breadwinner right now. He has cheated on me 3 times and I honestly have never been with another man. So the problem right now is trust. what do i need to do to keep my husband. Sorry this is a long story and I probably jumped back and forth with stuff. Questions and comments please. and help with the mental withdrawl. Thanks

[marcatj]

since you are on an addiction board, i would say yes, the oc is definitely blurring your vision...

i'm not sayin' stay, leave or any of that... at all.  all i'm saying is you want to get off the oc so everything is perfectly clear for you.  41/2-5 years is a long time...

with or without him, you wanna get off...

good luck,
mj

[TimH2]

welcome to the forum. you have to take care of yourself and not accept this kind of disrespect toward you. i am sorry for all you are going through and hope you make some good choices. he is the one with the problem and he has nerve to call you a liar, he has cheated on you.

God Bless,
Tim

[harley79]

Wow, sounds so easy when someone else says it. My dad says I need to get a divorce too. You are totally right, when he doesn't have the weed he is wayyyyyyyy worse.He's ok with the kids.Maybe we have just worn each other out. Is the OC blurring my emotions?

[facetoface]

Ill make it short and sweet...... Just drop the loser!!  Sounds like all he wants to do is not work....sit around all day smoking weed and worry about what you are doing. I think his main problem is since he dont have a job he has too much free time to sit and think about all the bad stuff you might be doing. The main reason he thinks this stuff about you is because its just stuff that he knows he has and will do again to you if you give him the chance.