Help With Opiate Addiction

[OpiateFree]

Hello..  My name is Ryan and I am a opiate addict. I never though that i would ever hear myself say that, but deep down inside I know its true. It is taking alot of self-will to post this comment, and truly I just want to live a normal healthy life without opiates. I became addicted to opiates through recreational use, and slowly I began to take more and more, untill I never knew when "enough was enough."  The opiate I always turn to are percocet,  it doesnt matter the strength. It just seems my mind will let me take enough to feel good. I had gotten up to about 35 percocet a day, at my highest self medicating dose. I have not though however touched a percocet in about 2 days, but that doesnt mean there is a second that I do not think of them. The only thing I have taken which I am happy to say are 2 Vic 10's, yesterday around 10 Am... And them 2 this morning at 10 Am.  I am ready to free myself of this ugly addiction, and get my life back on track to the life that I once had. I knew this bored existed moths ago,  but I was never ready to free myself, and now I am. This bored will be my moral support and unconditional love, that I need at the most desperate times of measure. I will post everyday, maybe a few times a day, as i feel this is a tool in which i can further free myself. I had been using for over a year, every sing day, and now im down to 4 Vics in 2 days..... And officailly quit today....I feel the worst is gone since I havent had a percocet in 2 and a half days. Thanks everyone who reply and listen, it truly means the world.  Ryan

[buddyb]

The first 5 days after going cold turkey are the worst.  If you can tuff it out you're homefree.  
I hate to say that after a year of 10 lorcets a day I tried to get off and could not.  Think I went crazy.  I had run out of options for getting more and turned to alcolhol for relief.  Ended up in a hospital in a 48 hour psyche hold.  Forced into rehab by my family and did 30 days.  Wish that all of the times I made it through the 5 day withdrawls that I couldve stayed off of them.  Even after rehab and a supportive family I still think of the pills, wish I didnt, but trying to get my life back.  Dont know if it'll ever be the same again but appreciate reading about everyone out there with so much in common and the same **** I went through.  Hang in there as I am and know that it gets better little by little.

[IBKleen]

Hello and Welcome to the forum!

There are people who have legitimate pain and can take pain medication as prescribed. Personally, I am not one of them. Although I do sufer with chronic back pain, I abuse the medication when I take it.

You are really the only one who can answer the question as to whether or not you are addicted. If you take them for legiatimate pain, as prescribed, then you may not be. There may come a time when your tolerance may build and you will need more to ease the pain.

I wish I could be of more help, but you have the answer yourself.

Please keep posting and talking. There are good people here who are willing to help.

Take care.....

[missthing]

hello
I have been taking Lortabs 10/325 6-8 daily for ten or so years for Interstitial Cystitis.
These are prescribed from a pain clinic and I have never gone over the dosage nor had to seek other doctors. I sometimes have some left before my next visit. My problem is a long laundry list now. Body temperature, depression, RLS, stomach pain, diarrhea, no testosterone, extreme fatigue. I am 43yr old female. These symptoms have been going on for some time now. I have been off Lortab for years at a time when I was pregnant. I like the pain relief that is why I went back to them. Is it backfiring?? Am I taking enough to be called "addiction"? I feel ^&** when I take them and *##( when I don't.
Anyone???please??

[01quickslvrstng]

Working out helps alot with the energy.  Also eat as soon as you get up if you can and through out the day.  Change to a healthier lifestyle and focus on natural healthiness to give yourself something to motivate you.  It feels so much better to feel good all of the time naturally than to ONLY feel good when you have pills.  Thats what made me decide to quit.  (sorry about the second person thing btw..lol)

[oneis2many]

good going!
what did YOU do to deal (or not) with the cravings?  Did you keep yourself busy?  Or white-knuckling it at home?  just curious.
I'm happy for you, really!  
Keep on, keep on!    :-)
renee

[OpiateFree]

My Oh my almost 4 and a half days................. WOW i stuck out the worst craving of my life.. I am not haveing the w/d like some people said.. I am thankfull for that.. XoxO Ryan

[oneis2many]

i've written some stuff on the withdrawal thread, if you want to respond there.

[oneis2many]

thanks for your kind words, ryan.
i'm also going to go off smoking.   I'll get the nicotine patches there, and I figure if I'm going to be hurting (or not), just get it all over with.
I accept i'm nervous and excited ryan.  Because I have been clean.  I was able to get close to nine years from '94 to '02.  But I wasn't taking narcotics at the time. just benzos.  I loved being clean.  I want it again.
Narcotics were a whole new world to me.  I'd never done any in the over 25 years of using b4 I got clean in '94.
These things are bleepin' powerful, man.  Even the ludes I was doing way back when couldn't touch these things.
The control, oh the control.
It's time I take my life back give the control to a power greater than myself.
i'll be using until i go in for detox-just  to let you know
thanks again

[OpiateFree]

It will be day 3 1/2 days without and perc's in my system, and yes i just quit cold turkey for me there was no other option, I know if I tryed to taper I would just take them all, and be in the state I first started in. Dont say your nervous, say you are Excited, that way you go to detox with determination. I know its hard, believe me I know how hard it is firsthand. But isnt health and recovery something you long for, as we all do? Be strong keep your chin up high, and dont give into temptation, as hard as that may seem, stick it out I believe in you. I hear your cry for help and I am here if you have any questions, concerns, or even if you just wanna chat..  Ryan

[oneis2many]

looks like people are posting to you.
like i said i'm going in to a medical detox on the 24th.   I know they taper me off the ativans and give me something for the perc's which they take you off immediately.  Are you saying you went of oxy's by yourself?  
I don't remember the name of the pill given to help with the w/d's.  
I'm really nervous already.  I'm writing here because I really need the support to keep me going and not to change my mind.

[nurseintrouble]

OK...here's my story.  I am a RN and in management, I have very easy access to drugs.  I hurt my back (minor injury) 3 years ago and the MD gave me Vicodin.  I didn't really need it for the pain, but liked the energy it gave me.  At the time I was working the floor, a lot of 16 hour shifts.  It started out as just one at a time every 6 to 8 hours.  But, over the years it became a 12 to 15 pill a day habit just to function.  I switched to oxycodone (percocet without the acetaminophen) about a year and a half ago because I was worried about my intake of acetaminophen (BUT NOT ABOUT MY NARCOTIC USE).  I knew I had a problem but did not truely want to quit.  I can't even count the number of times I threw away my pills, only to go into work the next day and grab more.  I decided a month ago that I was done.  I tapered my oxys for 2 weeks until I was down to 2 pills a day, and quit completely on August 26th.  I had minimal w/d symptoms because I started Xanax and Effexor, plus I think the taper helped.  This forum was my life line!!!!  The mental cravings were the worst.  I just wanted my energy back.  Every time I wanted to go and grab a pill, I logged onto this forum, sometimes I responded, but always read everyones posts.  It gave me the strength to stay clean.  I have been clean now for 12 days and have no desire to take another pain pill.  My energy is still low, but it gets better every day.  That's my story!

Ryan, stay strong, you can do this!  Going through life numb is no way to live.  Just remember everyone here on this forum has been through what you have been through and are about to go through. If and when the w/d's get bad, log on and talk to us, that's what we are here for.  It really helps!!  Good luck to you, baby  And remember to stay on this forum, we are all here for you.
Caitlin

[FLHubby]

My wife quite opiates 12 days ago. She did it with the use of the Thomas receipt, without the attached valium. Before day 3 and 4 of being clean kick in, do yourself a favor and get the ingredients of the recipt. If you look a the thread titled "FL Hubby" it details what the the past 12 days have been like for us. Good luck!!!

[oneis2many]

hi,
i'm new to this forum, and am hoping I can get some feedback and support.
I have been on percocet and ativan for almost five years now.   I abuse them like crazy and have just scheduled myself in to a medical detox in my city.
I'm nervous and excited.  
I did this detox thing back in '04 and ended up using again after two weeks.  I don't want that to happen again.  I'm so sick of this life-it is no life.  Those bleepin' pills are running my life.

[OpiateFree]

Does anyone here, have any other personal stories that they would like to share, it really inspires me when i hear about people who beat more difficuly opiates than mine..  xoxo Ryan

[liscamdave]

Look, you can do this. I know it sounds like you will never be able to get through it, but you will. If you are determined and truly WANT to quit, then you will. I tried so many times to quit. Because I had no money, or my dealer was out, or the w/d was too bad, but I always went back. I came to realize that I had to truly want to rid myself of these pills. I was taking anywhere from 1200-1600mgs, of Oxy Contin a day, that is equivilant to 320 5mg percocets a day, YES A DAY. I had built my tolerance up so high that when I went to start my detox, the doctor told me I should have been dead. HE said that there were 300lb men that could not take the amount I could take. The w/d was something fierce and lasted almost three weeks. I stayed clean for three months, give or take, then caved in when I saw my dealer. I am now on day 10, and starting the battle with a different outlook. The last time I quit, I really wanted to, but didn;t really do much thinking about the "Aftercare" aspect of addiction. I thought simply getting through w.d was all I had to worry about, but getting through w.d is the easy part believe it or not. Its remaining sober that is the hard part. Look into aftercare, PLEASE. And read all the above posts, they are all good ways to detox at home...Good Luck Ryan, stay positive.

Lisa

[hydrofusion]

Colly hit the nail on the head.  For me, when I went through the withdrawls of methadone it was so scary because I didn't know what was happening and nobody could relate to what I was going through.  Only thing I can really offer is to keep telling yourself that you WILL get better and the body does get through it.  When that demon comes knocking on your door, tell him to **** off.  Hang in there buddy!

[CollyDog]

You and I share the same favorite drug.  Welcome aboard and keep posting, keep reading, and try you're best to remain strong.  I will tell you this honey - I am 18 days clean today and was taking between 8 to 10 to 12 percs a day, withdrawal did come on a lot slower than it does for the other pills i.e. hydros (I was taking those too).  It's not a pleasant experience at all honey and you will feel like you've got the worst case of flu you can imagine.  The good news though:  it will end and you will come out the other side.  The main reason:  you have a desire to quit!  For me, that was the biggest decision I made and once I truly did make the decision, I knew what I had to do!  Personally, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done because in all reality it's hell but now, looking back with the benefit of hindsight, I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.  The physical ailments are about over for me now although am still not sleeping like I did but I do have to keep guarded against the mental cravings as we all do.  I pray for your strength Ryan and please, please, please keep coming to the Forum - the people here are amazing and the strength, support, encouragement and selflessness is an oasis in the middle of a desert, especially when the withdrawals really kick in.

I am glad you posted hon - all the best.
Vicky

[blueyz]

I'm glad you decided it was time.  I don't know what it is, but there comes a time for all of us (somethimes forced) when we realize we can't do it anymore.  I was like you, I just wanted to be done.  HYDRO is right, you may not be out of the woods yet and you will have MANY people tell you that on this forum..BUT I can tell you that I have never suffered from the w/d that people describe on here.  The only issue I had was learning to function w/o the extra energy the pills gave me.  After a couple weeks I got my wind back and I was fine!  I never went thru the flu symptoms, sleep issues, etc...  I just was on them for about a week due to some unexpected girl issues that were found after a trip to the ER.  Have been off a day and a half now and again still none of the above.  I think some people are like that.  So go into this thinking positive, rather than dreading what could be.  I think you would already be feeling like &*^$ if you were going to.

Good job and kee us posted!

[OpiateFree]

I had not taken 35 percocet everyday, i was just saying that was my highest dose, and they were 5/325 i only took that many once or twice. I really appreciate all the posts and hopefully I will get more words of encouragement and things. I know I can kick this habit, because i have made up my mind. Ryan

[CATUF]

1.  Search this forum (or just Google) ["Thomas Recipe"].  It really helps a lot.  My one problem with the Thomas Recipe is its suggestion for "Valium (or another benzodiazepine such as Klonopin, Librium, Ativan or Xanax)."  I'm not crazy about the idea of using an addictive substance to help detox from another addictive substance.  Plus, when you introduce actual meds into a detox, it becomes, by definition, a medical detox . . . but without the necessary element of a medical professional.  I may be a bit rabid on this point, but I think it's worth considering.

2.  Get at least some of the following books (they're all worth getting): END YOUR ADDICTION NOW, by Charles Gant; THE MOOD CURE, by Julia Ross; and SEVEN WEEKS TO SOBRIETY,  by Joan Larsen.  These 3 are strongly focused on the brain chemistry aspects of addication and recovery, and show you hom to address the same via nutrition and specific supplements.  This is not some health-nut BS, it has been absolutely critical to my Recovery.  I know many addicts with sustained Recovery who say it quite literally changed their lives.

3.  Get some other good books on more general aspects of Recovery.  There are lots out there, but you might start with:  STAYING SOBER, by Gorski and Miller; and STAYING CLEAN AND SOBER,  by Miller and Miller.  There's a lot more to getting (and staying) in Recovery than just stopping the use and getting through wd.  Books like these will show you how to get (and stay) on the path.  

4.  Start going to AA or NA.  Go to one meeting a day for the next 90 days.  Get a Sponsor (or at least a temporary Sponsor) immediately and "work the program" as he advises.  AA has been an important part of my Recovery.  I rather doubt that AA alone would have done it, but I also doubt I'd still be clean without it.  

5.  Don't change your clean date, no matter what.

6.  Check yourself into a rehab and stay there as long as possible.  This should really be at the top of my list, but I put it at the bottom because few people like to hear it and even fewer will follow such a suggestion.  I know the notion used to seem like the END OF THE WORLD to me.  I had countless reason why I couldn't possibly go to rehab.  I stuck to my guns until my addiction had simply taken every one of those reasons away from me, one-by-one.  I sometimes wish I had gotten into Recovery before I lost pretty much everything.  Then again, I sometimes think that my losing pretty much everything was simply what was necessary to get me into Recovery.

Good luck,

CATUF
DAY-822

[hydrofusion]

Ryan,
I hate to be the bearer of bad news but percocet will stay in your system for 36-52 hours (or so I've been told).  So although you feel good now, I can almost assure you the worst is not over.  You will probably start to feel the withdrawl symptons in another day or two, but trust me if you were up to 35 a day, two and a  half days isn't going to cut it.  Once the w/d kick in, I'd say probably 14-21 days would be a more realistic number before you start coming out of it.

Question though:  how long were you on percocet?