i am truely sorry to hear about your cousins addictions....its a hard thing to rid of....she may have healthy children but that dont mean this one will be...I was pregnet and just lost my child...I had been on vicodine for 4 years...and was using them and never knew i was pregnet...when I found out I freeked out about it but it was too late...thats why i started coming to this forum. I was completly honest with the doctor and she never said pain drugs were the cause....but I cant help feel it was....she needs help and I hope she understands that someday her children will know she is using,,,even if she is a good mother...and coming from a alcoholic father I had a very hard time growing up as a teenager...I dont really drink to this day because of it. Please dont quit coming back,,,,there are some people on here who want to help...just be careful how you post....babys are a very sensitive issue...its not just one life but two that we are talking about here...more if you inclue the other children...and even though they may not have problems now...they may when they grow older and see what is going on....I am not in anyway judging you or your family,,,only giving you my experiences and hoping they may help...I know that God helps me get through all of this...
When you are going to write such a misleading post..You will get misleading feedback..The whole post started out to where no one even wanted to comment on it , because all we could think about was the baby and the situation as it seemed when she posted...So no one is to blame except for the one who first posted it, then came back to jump on everyone , for her mistakes...
Me, i still feel sorry for the children...I am not being judgemental, because i feel sorry for my own children, that is why i am clean and doing better with that...
r2r
think if the kids are in a ****** drug infested environment....YEAH they're gonna be troublesome kids. But then on the flip side...you got people who can burn both ends of the candle (for a while at least) and have a functioning life.
Well then there is nothing to worry about. She's clearly "functioning" as you say.
Just because 2 of her babies she had while she was using drugs "appear" to be fine now doesn't mean problems won't arise later and even if they don't, why is she still tempting fate and using with this one?? Maybe she DOES need a convinction to straighten herself out, take this seriously and get the help she needs. It seems to me that as long as the kids are "healthy" and "smart" that she will never see what she's doing as wrong because there are no apparent consequences for her actions.
I am an addict and I am not judging as I've done things as well BUT she DOES need help and the disease of addiction progresses over time so that one day she might not be able to take care of them the way she is now and they might very well wind up living in one of the ****** up drug houses like you say so why not get her help NOW before it's too late for her kids AND for her. And if she won't go herself which is evident then she needs her kids to be taken away until she's got some significant clean time and stops being so selfish.
I have to say , I can understand why people are upset over this post . The post seemed to be geared toward being concerned about who long the crack would stay in the babies system, not for the baby or even concern for the addicted mother .
The doctors do need to know she is a "functioning addict" they do need to bag the urine . the mother needs to get into some type of program to help herself ( helping her kids in the process). I really wish her the best I hope she get the help she needs .I hope in ten years the kids are doing as well as they seem to be now .
Avis
Glad to see you are back. You have my sincere appology for my harsh comments. Please understand a few things:
Your original post left a lot of room for interrpretation. You did not explain the whole story. You were not honest about who it was. It was "implied" that it was you. Secondly, this is a huge forum and people come and go. There are people who post here for shock value. Sad, but true. When someone posts somethign as urgent as your post was, and they don't return, it is often times assumed that it was a shock post. Again, I am sorry. I thought that is wht it was.
I am glad that you did return and that you did explain the whole story. I will keep your cousin in my prayers. That is all I can do.
Addicts have a blatant disregard for everything except getting high. Just because she is pregnant makes her no less of an addict and I am afraid that some of the more judgemental posts would do no good except to make her not come back here where she could get some advice and tough love but in such a way as to encourage her to post more and perhaps learn something or take some action.
I agree that it seems as if she was maybe more concerned about hiding the fact that she was using but as we already know addicts are selfish and self serving as well.
If you were concerned about her neglect and disregard for her unborn baby maybe your posts should have been a wee bit less judgemental/harsh to encourage some kind of dialogue instead of scaring her away.
We don't know the whole story. She may have been speaking about herself but to ashamed to say so, we just don't know.
If she is reading this I would encourage her to tell her doctor as they will know anyway once the baby is born but at least maybe the medical team can be proactive and know what to expect when the baby is born so they can be on the lookout for potential problems.
Isn't this a support site for addicts? One poster referred to someone she knew as a "skank" because she was using while pregnant. Very nice indeed.