I just wish my brain would switch back on.

[lady_m]

This head fogginess is unreal.  I expected it, but it is so frustrating to actually TRY to think and you can’t.  I was at a deli yesterday and the lady asked me what I would like.  I could not think of the word “salad”.  I seriously stood there staring at her.  “ahhh… ahhhh…” I actually had to look at the menu board on the wall and find the word.  I notice now when I am having conversations with my husband (especially long ones or ones that are heavy discussions) I find myself constantly stopping searching for the right word or phrase, or sometimes I’ll just lose my thought completely.  He knows what it is so he understands, but it is still so frustrating at times.  

I have been absolutely swamped today at work (which is why I haven’t been on the forum much) and this morning I just stared at the piles of things on my desk – projects that I need to do that require a lot of thinking – and detail.  Things that I used to do were taking twice the time.  It’s like I knew these things, but my mind couldn’t fully put all the pieces together.  In fact, as I was writing this one of my big bosses called me back to point out an error I had made on a project I had put together.  Something that I had done a million times, something that shouldn’t have ever happened.  I hate feeling inadequate – especially with my job.  I take pride in what I do here and it kills me to know I’m not functioning at my top level.  The forgetting of words or having to frequently stop in the middle of a conversation with my husband are things I can shake off – and even laugh at.  But I have to admit, the fact that this is happening to Professional Jen, that hits a little deeper.  Because I know I’m better than this.

But this too shall pass……

[meme53214]

yes I can relate ...now I make coffee every day but id find my self starting the steps then going off in the middle of the task and starting some thing else...this was really bad on days 3 and four but now on day 6 has gotton lil better...

[TimH2]

The head fog and forgetfullness drives me crazy. I feel like an idiot at times. It does take time and Catuf is right about the aminos. I started taking them two weeks ago and they have helped. I look at it that everyday brings us a step closer to normal. It is much better than destroying ourselves more with the pills.

[TimH2]

It is so nice to see you posting here. You are such a inspiration and wealth of knowledge on addiction.

[lady_m]

Great post, thank you.  I really appreciate that information and it makes a lot of sense.  I know that being on and off antidepressants since the age of 17 that I have already had issues with balance and such.  I’m still working on getting those things right, it’s just hard right now because until I get back to that pre-addiction state, I won’t know what is off balance due to my own deficient levels, or the levels that are off due to the stopping of opiates.  I’ve gone back on medication in the last few weeks which I think is helping me where I’m at now.  Once I’m through this I know it may need to be adjusted once my mind is back to where it was before.

I have a HORRIBLE addiction issue and one day I would like to get to the root of it.  For me, nothing in can ever be “just one”.  A taste of something leaves me with a huge hunger for more – stopping at nothing to get it.  I don’t know why some have it and other’s don’t.

[CATUF]

I posted this on the "other page" under "Will I ever feel happiness?," but what I said about mood/emotion applies just as much to mental clarity/ability to focus
==========================
Yes, a return of pre-addiction levels of happiness, joy, etc. is far more than just possible, but it does take time.

I have benefitted from a growing school of professionals holding that amino acid therapy is an essential part of treatment and Recovery.  Aminos are the building blocks of neurotransmitters ("NT's"), such as dopamine.  Without sufficient aminos, we're not going to have sufficient NT's.

Active addiction, as was noted, does horrible things to NT levels.  It will take time, good eating/health habits and continued abstinence for NT production to return to pre-addiction norms.  But part of the whole amino-school is that for most addicts, pre-addiction norms weren't normal.  The idea is that many/most addicts-to-be were deficient on the NT's that keep most folks reasonably happy most of the time (w/o living in a substance-induced fog).  

Thus, when these same people finally quit their DOC, at best they're left eventually with that pre-addiction something-is-missing state of existence that made frequent/constant use of their DOC so attractive in the first place.  In fact, many never even get back to that point because the transition is so difficult.

Aminos not only help with that transition, but they can address the issue of the pre-addiction deficiencies as well.

Take a look at one (or all) of these books: END YOUR ADDICTION NOW, by Charles Gant; THE MOOD CURE, by Julia Ross; and/or SEVEN WEEKS TO SOBRIETY, by Joan Larsen.

CATUF
DAY-766


  

[lady_m]

You know how when you open a bottle of pills and there is all that cotton on top?  You have to pull it all out…. I feel like that is what I need to do with my head – just grab all the cotton in there and pull it out.

I just realized I used an analogy about pills.. go figure.  LOL

[liscamdave]

I know what you mean. It seemed as if my boss secretly knew I was in w/d and decided to pile on extra work for me that entire two weeks. I was literally never more busy than I was during that time...I too, find myself forgetting things often, but it was worst when I was on the pills, they made me forget everything. I was never aware of what was going on. It was crazy...

xoxo, Lisa

IT WILL PASS DEAR