If the shoe was on the other foot....

[Brokenbutglued]

If instead of you being the addict it was your son, daughter, girl/boyfriend, wife or husband what would you expect out of them once they admitted to having a drug or alcohol problem? How quickly would you expect these things?

[Tab57]

Timely question. I not an addict but both of may parents had such realated issues. While I did not have a family member come foward and admit to a drug or alcohol probelm, 18 dyas ago I had a vefy close friend admit to me tht they are addicted to Loratabs.

My expectation was based on one question. That question is do they really want help or is their motivation to do something to avoid going to jail or out of desperation not to loose any moere people and/or possessions.

In my friend's case his answer was that he was sicjka ndtired of craving drugs every waking moment and he wanted to get better for his own well being.He was well aware that he was on the verge of losiing people after losing many materail possessions.

When addicts get this way they need tough love ans desire it as they need help with accountability. They want to do the right thing but may not have the self discipline to stay the course without some help. We had a one on one meeting where he explained his probelm and his desire to get clean. I todl him of what reasonable expectations would be and how I untended to hold him accounatble. He was fine with all of this.

My expectation is that he get off drugs and stay off them witout substitiuting alcohol or other addictive items. I expected him to call a treatment facility the next day and go in for
an evaluation.

[Tab57]

To continue m prior post, I would alsoexpect him to correct whatever problems that his drug addictiuon caused. This is a gradual process. In my case my friend borrowed money fromm me on a few occasions. Until six months ago he was real good about payin me back. Suddenly he was unable to pay me back.

He claims he never borrowed money ffrom me to buy drugs. Even if that is true what I di unknowingly do was to enable his addiction by using my money to pay bills and his to buy drugs. He said he needed money for the treatment center first visit fee and the iniitial drug screen. I gave him the money but the condtions were that he would proive receipts for his rehab related expenses and provide me the change. This was done.

You have to set well defined expectations and old the addictt accounable once the addict wants to get help. nature of the expectations depnds on the individual. Please let me know if you have additional questions as I have a lot of experience as a victim of addictive behavior.