Prescription Oxycontin Addiction

[tippy1124]

I came across this site while I was looking around.  I've been looking for people to talk to that actually know what I'm going through.  I am 28 years old and I'm still recovering from back surgery.  I had to have 2 discs replaced and a metal rod inserted to hold my spine upright.  I had my surgery on October 12th of 2006 and I am still currently seeing a pain management doctor.  I have been prescribed Oxycontin 20mg (3x a day), Flexeril 10mg (3x a day), and Lunesta (to help me sleep).  The Lunesta was just added a couple months ago, but I have been taking the Oxycontin and Flexeril for almost a year now.  I had no problems other than some memory loss up until a month or so ago.  Now, I find myself very depressed.  I cry all the time and since my doctor added the Lunesta, I have horrible nightmares every night.  I start arguments, I get highly emotional, and I cry at the drop of a hat...all for basically no reason.  I have a 6 year old son and he has been staying with my mother for the past year or so because I was incapable of caring for him after the surgery.  Now it's time for himto start school again and my fiancee keeps telling me that I need to take care of my son, but my mother is trying to convince me that I'm not ready yet.  They pull me in different directions so often.  I am sooo stressed out and I was recently put on blood pressure medication which I believe was directly attributed to my stress level.  Just talking on the phone with my mother 2 nights ago stressed me so badly, I had to be taken to the emergency room, passed out when I got there, and when I woke up the doctors told me I passed out because my blood pressure was 199/97.  Sometimes it feels like these two try to convince me what's best for me, but shouldn't I be able to do that?  Even on the medication, I function fine, except for the occasional lapse in memory.  Not to mention, the stress, on more than one occasion, has caused me to take one more Oxycontin a day than I should.  I have had many thoughts of suicide, but I keep telling myself it's just the medication making me feel this way, but I'm not 100% sure that I won't feel this way after I'm off the medication.  I'm scared.  It's like I don't know how to handle life anymore other than medicated.  Please help me.

[Kspraggins]

Wow, I'm sorry you're going through the stress from the people who should be helpung, not adding more stress! I sugfest seeing a therapist to help you decide what's best for you & your son. Good luck & God bless

[tippy1124]

I know how that feels.  I hope you feel better soon and thank you for reading my post.

[shelby74]

I am sorry I want to write to you right now but I am withdrawing a little here.  Not feeling like myself.  Someone will be along soon.  And trust me we understand.

I will post more when I feeling a little better.

shel