ashamed and paranoid

[littldeb]

Hey ya'll, hope everyone is having a great day. Hubby is doing well, but still takin the trams after coming off hydros.  I feel so ashamed and paranoid right now, and this is the only place I feel I can admit these feelings.  He owns a remodeling company and an employee got a pretty good gash in his arm on the job.  Hubby went to take him to the hospital and my very first thought was "oh no, they are gonna give him hydros."  then it dawned on me that I use to not think like that and my concern should be for the employee.  I feel horrible!!  This stupid little pill has changed us in so many ways.....it's unreal.  And even thoughh I feel guilty and ashamed I still am paranoid about what the Dr. will prescribe for pain.  Is that not insane??  I know there will be times when I will just have to let go and trust....but I don't think I am at that point yet.  What do ya'll think....besides me being absolutely crazy in my thinking....do you think as an addict and only having 19 days off the hydros the temptation may be there....or am I just being paranoid and over reacting?  I feel awful for my way of thinking but can't help myself.  :(
deb

[littldeb]

Thank you for your kind words....i needed to hear that and all is well...five stitches and 305 dollars later and  noone mentioned the scripts and neither did I.  Sometimes the fear and anxiety of the unknown is our biggest enemy.
Thanks again,
deb

[littldeb]

Hi Ionote,

No I wasn't takin the pills and didn't even know he was takin them for a year..just found out about six months ago..i'm addicted to nicotine and chocolate :)
deb

[IBKleen]

Hi Hun!

I am not surprised that you feel this way. You have been through a lot. Also, your feelings are justified. I am sure I would think the same thing in your position.

Trust is something that is earned, much like respect. Hubby has 19 days, and that is wonderful! You still need time to heal. Don't beat yourself up over this.

Yes, there will be times when that nasty little pill will come into your life, for one reason or another. That is just a fact of life.

Just try not to dwell on this. I am glad that you shared your feelings ad got it off your chest.

You take care and be good to yourself.

[lonote]

Were you doing the pills too? I don't know your story.