lonote

[Mangee]

I know what you are feeling. Holiday season brings to mind all those who have passed on and it brings a sadness and loneliness that we feel will never go away. Nostalgia takes hold and grips us in a myriad of emotions. Don't try to shy away from it. Remembering is a good thing. We think of all the good times we had with those who have gone on and, as lonely as we feel, it brings a smile to our faces in between the tears. As long as we keep them alive in our thoughts they are never really gone. You feel that no one can ever replace them but that does not mean that you have to stop living. Give others a chance to fill your life even though they can never entirley fill the hole that you feel in your heart. There is life out there and you have to give it a chance. You still have a lot of living to do and you shouldn't try to live it by keeping it tucked away in your mind. Open the door,so to speak, and look around there just might be someone who will help to fill the void that you feel. There are a lot of good people out there and some just as lonely as you. It's time to start living again.

[Mangee]

Do not dwell on age. What you need is a way to stimulate both him and you, Maybe if you went back to some of the old haunts you used to go to. Dancing, dinner out, a trip. When you walk, hold hands. It only takes a memory to get the juices flowing.  Antidepressants may not be the problem.  It may all be in your mind. My son was on them for a while and they never slowed him down. As I said, "You havs to start living again and so does he.He my be staying away from intimacy  because he loves you and thinks that is what you want. Talk to him,tell him everything you feel. You may be pleasantly surprised.

[lonote]

Such wise words, and I can't thankyou enough for saying that. By being in a dark place is preventing me from letting others in.Who knows,? I may have something they need? Perhaps I could put a smile on someone elses face. It was hard yesterday cause as I come up on the anniversery every year, I put something in the paper in rememberance of my brother. I appointed myself of that.  I'm not good at poems, so I googled poems of that sort to get some ideas.
But You are so right. I don't know what to fill the void?? My marriage isn't to fulfilling right now. We are in a slump. He's a wonderful man, but we need to get on the same page. I woulden't trade him for anything, but theres this silent emptiness. (this might be t.m.i.  but my antidepressants kill my sex drive, and its been months) And he's fine with it cause he has back problems and is 58. Is it supposed to slow down? In the beginning I thought we'd f--- ourselvs to our grave.Me 53 him 58. I'm going to talk to the doc. Its one of those unspoken things. Well, if I don't say something, who will?
Really, its the intamacy, not the act itself. So, I'm off to the mirror, hug myself and tell me how wonderful I am. Cathy