the problem is that all the doctors here say that lining things up is normal development and that all kids hit there is no other specialists available unless i drive to vancouver which is 28 hrs away. And my pediatrician will not refer me because he said that she is fine and developing normally... what should i do??????????????
You need a developmental pediatrician. There are lots of things besides autism and aspergers... ADD or ADHD cause problems that children can't control. Sensory disorders can cause things. Hitting herself and others sounds like big warning flag. And the lining up toys. Those things are also warning signs of various things, hence you need to find a specialist. Regular pediatricians can't diagnose these things.
It sounds like you have a lovely 2 year old daughter who just needs some help. By the way, I find this forum helpful even if you are not sure if your child is autistic or not. My daughter has a lot of sensory issues, and that is one common thing of autism and also of other things. SO, I keep checking this forum out to see what people say. Sensory issues are something to deal with. Getting in to a specialist has a wait list, and I think you have to see the regular pedicatrician to get referred, but your pediatrician should be able to tell you if she needs therapy in the meantime, just to resolve some of the sensory and behavioral issues. Every state (if you live in the US) should have a 0 to 3 program for therapy, that is heavily tax payer subsidized and is free for most people. My daughter's occupational therapist has helped my daughter immensely in the last month with sensory integration therapy. Sensory stuff alone, even without autism, is hard to handle as a parent, and as a child, sensory issues can impact their social interactions and learning. Definitely something you want to address with the pediatrician and see if you can qualify her for therapy for it. After the age of 3, therapy is available generally through the school system or if you go in to a therapist office. Not sure how the payment is set up on that, since not at that point yet.
Good luck. You daughter does sound lovely with the waves, kisses and cuddles. 3 word phrases, she also sounds quite intelligent.