Aa
I'm sorry
My nephew was autism. My sister want him to drive
Oh, were you asking if I was sorry or if addy2008 was sorry? I think we were both sorry. LOL.
Oh, the thing I was sorry about was in a different message thread from addy2008. I'm really kind of disjointed (not sure if that's the correct adjective) in my thinking/writing.
Okay, this post is more about driving and taking the stupid drivers test, not autism. I've lived in a lot of states, so I have a bunch of experience dealing with some good DMV/BMV (whatever the states want to call them) and bad ones.
I was 23 when I learned to drive. I never bothered learning before that. Driving is expensive. you have to factor in cost of the car, cost of maintaining the car, cost of having insurance, and then after all that the $4 price tag on gasoline nowadays. I didn't get my own car (and rarely drove) until after my daughter was born. At that point, I was already in my 30s. Before that I always took public transit or commuted with my husband. Where we're moving doesn't have public transit, so I will really need my own car, though we might scale back to one car for a year if we can't sell our house down here. Luckily our house isn't worth that much (unfortunately it's goign to sell for less as well too), and we didnt' pay that much, so the monthly cost is not goign to put us out too badly (just enough to cut back on things like no second car, no cable TV, no high speed internet)... not that we have cable TV currently but I was hoping to get it. I heard that if you don't have cable tv, you have to get a box because the government is making everything going to be high definition and you need to have the special box to get reception if you just use the rabbit ears antennas. I also heard there are free government waivers/coupons you can get so you don't have to pay the stores money to get the boxes. I'll have to look into it.
I am not a perfectionist, so failing never bothered me. If it did, I would be one unhappy person (I make a whole lot of mistakes). Failing does bother me when there is a price tag involved. And if it's a big one. When we moved to Connecticut (which i guess is like 12 years ago at this point?) they make you retake the written test. I failed that thing 3 times. It wasn't that i didn't know the stuff, they made the test really confusing. How do you move over 1 1/2 lanes? That state was really bizarre... and at $65 a pop for the written test (they do give you the 3rd and 4th test free if you managed to pay for the first two... or maybe they did that for me because I was throwing such a loud fit in the DMV they wanted to shut me up). I finally passed that thing on the 4th try. And barely. My husband passed on the first try. He memorizes everything in one read through. In most states the fee is like $15 for the written test. Not sure what they charge for the driving test. I haven't taken that one since I was 23. :) You should have heard me arguing with the DMV people. Usually I keep my mouth shut. Not that I was trying to have a conversation with them. I was just going on a tirade and making a scene. And a lot of nearby people were saying yes they agreed with me. Which I usually don't do upset tirades unless I'm really really really upset. I did pass the driver's test and the written test on my first try when I was 23 and first got the liscense, but every state is different. That state was an easy state to get a license. And their tests focused on driving questions, not drugs and alcohol and motorcycles. Connecticut was the only state I failed the written test. The other states I passed with flying colors on the first go. Though I guess I would have failed the driving portion if they asked me to parallel park.
Some states try to make it harder. I seriously think some states want to collect more money out of you so they make that test as hard and unrelevant to driving as they can. how many points on your license for passing a school bus (it's illegal anyways... would you do it if it was only 1 point instead of 2?), which makes your driving more impaired: drinking or marijuana? I don't do either, and both impair your driving... is that state offering me a choice? Like if you have to do one, you better choose the one that makes your driving less impaired? Um, no, you are not supposed to drive while doing either! I know that, but they seem to think that there's a choice involved. They're the stupid ones! And at least in the state I was taking the test, marijuana is illegal for all thing including medicinal, unlike California where I am not sure if they still allow it for medicinal usage. One state I was in had a whole ton of motorcycle questions. I wasn't even taking the motorcycle test... I was taking the car test!!! Funny thing is in Florida, they don't make you take the written test. They just give you a license if you have one from another state. They don't retest your vision either. So, you wonder if people can actually see worth anything the older they get and don't want to go get their eyes tested on a regularly basis (my, at-the-time, 90 year old grandmother was one of those people until she had an accident which totalled her car and she admitted she couldn't see well enough to drive). So some states, really easy to get a driver's liscense and cheap too. Other states really hard and more expensive. Truly they must make it harder to collect more money from people.
Okay, this post is more about driving and taking the stupid drivers test, not autism. I've lived in a lot of states, so I have a bunch of experience dealing with some good DMV/BMV (whatever the states want to call them) and bad ones.
I was 23 when I learned to drive. I never bothered learning before that. Driving is expensive. you have to factor in cost of the car, cost of maintaining the car, cost of having insurance, and then after all that the $4 price tag on gasoline nowadays. I didn't get my own car (and rarely drove) until after my daughter was born. At that point, I was already in my 30s. Before that I always took public transit or commuted with my husband. Where we're moving doesn't have public transit, so I will really need my own car, though we might scale back to one car for a year if we can't sell our house down here. Luckily our house isn't worth that much (unfortunately it's goign to sell for less as well too), and we didnt' pay that much, so the monthly cost is not goign to put us out too badly (just enough to cut back on things like no second car, no cable TV, no high speed internet)... not that we have cable TV currently but I was hoping to get it. I heard that if you don't have cable tv, you have to get a box because the government is making everything going to be high definition and you need to have the special box to get reception if you just use the rabbit ears antennas. I also heard there are free government waivers/coupons you can get so you don't have to pay the stores money to get the boxes. I'll have to look into it.
I am not a perfectionist, so failing never bothered me. If it did, I would be one unhappy person (I make a whole lot of mistakes). Failing does bother me when there is a price tag involved. And if it's a big one. When we moved to Connecticut (which i guess is like 12 years ago at this point?) they make you retake the written test. I failed that thing 3 times. It wasn't that i didn't know the stuff, they made the test really confusing. How do you move over 1 1/2 lanes? That state was really bizarre... and at $65 a pop for the written test (they do give you the 3rd and 4th test free if you managed to pay for the first two... or maybe they did that for me because I was throwing such a loud fit in the DMV they wanted to shut me up). I finally passed that thing on the 4th try. And barely. My husband passed on the first try. He memorizes everything in one read through. In most states the fee is like $15 for the written test. Not sure what they charge for the driving test. I haven't taken that one since I was 23. :) You should have heard me arguing with the DMV people. Usually I keep my mouth shut. Not that I was trying to have a conversation with them. I was just going on a tirade and making a scene. And a lot of nearby people were saying yes they agreed with me. Which I usually don't do upset tirades unless I'm really really really upset. I did pass the driver's test and the written test on my first try when I was 23 and first got the liscense, but every state is different. That state was an easy state to get a license. And their tests focused on driving questions, not drugs and alcohol and motorcycles. Connecticut was the only state I failed the written test. The other states I passed with flying colors on the first go. Though I guess I would have failed the driving portion if they asked me to parallel park.
Some states try to make it harder. I seriously think some states want to collect more money out of you so they make that test as hard and unrelevant to driving as they can. how many points on your license for passing a school bus (it's illegal anyways... would you do it if it was only 1 point instead of 2?), which makes your driving more impaired: drinking or marijuana? I don't do either, and both impair your driving... is that state offering me a choice? Like if you have to do one, you better choose the one that makes your driving less impaired? Um, no, you are not supposed to drive while doing either! I know that, but they seem to think that there's a choice involved. They're the stupid ones! And at least in the state I was taking the test, marijuana is illegal for all thing including medicinal, unlike California where I am not sure if they still allow it for medicinal usage. One state I was in had a whole ton of motorcycle questions. I wasn't even taking the motorcycle test... I was taking the car test!!! Funny thing is in Florida, they don't make you take the written test. They just give you a license if you have one from another state. They don't retest your vision either. So, you wonder if people can actually see worth anything the older they get and don't want to go get their eyes tested on a regularly basis (my, at-the-time, 90 year old grandmother was one of those people until she had an accident which totalled her car and she admitted she couldn't see well enough to drive). So some states, really easy to get a driver's liscense and cheap too. Other states really hard and more expensive. Truly they must make it harder to collect more money from people.
I was about to add, but it got posted before I had a chance to ask. I wonder why are you sorry? I guess I missed that.
My driving ability seems to be severly hindered by my desire for perfection... I can't get myself to take the drivers test because I want to pass it on the FIRST try... To me it seems to be more comforting to imagine there's the chance for me to pass it on the first try than to actually do it and find out that I'm no better than many people who've said it's impossible to pass the first time. I'm sure there are people who passed the first time, but from the sounds of it (and what my younger sister went through) that they are rather exceptional people.
I know my desire for perfection is unrealistic but I can't yet understand it on an emotional level, enough to actually take the jump... I'd like to get behind the wheel training... But at the moment, I can't afford a car, insurance, or gas, so I see no point striving to get the license anytime soon.
People honking: For me what was more upsetting than the sound was the feeling I failed. I had my temps some years ago and it seemed no matter how hard I tried, I always got honked at least once. It got to be a competition. I’d try to see if I could drive without being honked at ANY time in the trip... If I got honked at once, then I failed the mission and my self esteem plummeted... I also had the compulsion to try to look over my left shoulder, which always presented a blind spot for me because the back of the car wall blocked me from seeing people on the left lane… I think I’m supposed to use the mirrors for that… A lot of the peripheral activity was a bother. Otherwise highway driving (free of traffic jams) no problem.
In fact I founds myself almost anxiety free driving on the freeway on a calm day whereas in the city driving, I’d be a nerve wreck. I find it funny and ironic because many people claim to be the opposite.
I figured I’d share my viewpoint. It isn’t always sensory overload that can cause anxiety. It can be unrealistic expectations and an internal desire for everything to be done perfectly that can be just as crippling if not more than the sensory stuff.
I know my desire for perfection is unrealistic but I can't yet understand it on an emotional level, enough to actually take the jump... I'd like to get behind the wheel training... But at the moment, I can't afford a car, insurance, or gas, so I see no point striving to get the license anytime soon.
People honking: For me what was more upsetting than the sound was the feeling I failed. I had my temps some years ago and it seemed no matter how hard I tried, I always got honked at least once. It got to be a competition. I’d try to see if I could drive without being honked at ANY time in the trip... If I got honked at once, then I failed the mission and my self esteem plummeted... I also had the compulsion to try to look over my left shoulder, which always presented a blind spot for me because the back of the car wall blocked me from seeing people on the left lane… I think I’m supposed to use the mirrors for that… A lot of the peripheral activity was a bother. Otherwise highway driving (free of traffic jams) no problem.
In fact I founds myself almost anxiety free driving on the freeway on a calm day whereas in the city driving, I’d be a nerve wreck. I find it funny and ironic because many people claim to be the opposite.
I figured I’d share my viewpoint. It isn’t always sensory overload that can cause anxiety. It can be unrealistic expectations and an internal desire for everything to be done perfectly that can be just as crippling if not more than the sensory stuff.
Talk to your sister about your concerns. I'm sorry if I was a little crazy in my last post about your driving question. I'm a bit stressed out since I will be moving very soon.
It really depends on if he's ready to drive or not, whether or not he has autism. I was not ready to drive at 15 or 16. I was 23 when I learned. Some people are ready earlier, though. High schools generally offer a behind the wheel course where they drive around in the parking lot of the school, not in real traffic.
If your nephew has sensory issues from autism (like oversensitivity to sound or light) he'll have to recognize how that might impair his driving. I don't drive at night for instance because I can not stand the glare of headlights in my eyes. I'd drive off the road. I really have to focus on driving. When people honk their horns, I freak out sometimes. But as long as I'm mentally prepared for sounds and stuff... I don't freak out and I don't drive off the road. I don't know how other aspects of autism would affect driving. I don't have autism, but I do have sensory integration problems, that is common in autism. I'm probably not the best driver in the world. My depth perception is also a bit off. So I have to leave a huge amount of space and if I make a turn I annoy other drivers because I wait for the big break. Usually I'll turn right and then u-turn so I don't have to turn left. I also have a hard time parking sometimes if the spaces are small, so I park far away where there is more empty spaces and I can repark it until I get it right. I can not parallel park for the life of me, and do not attempt to do so. Luckily I never was tested on that when I first learned.... and I haven't had to take the road portion again since that time. Just the written part.
Oh, taking those stupid road tests are annoying... I'm really hoping I don't have to take a written drivers test again when I move to the new state. It's not about driving anymore... it's all about what is the blood alcohol contect level for when you are legally drunk, which is worse drugs or drinking while driving, how many points do you get if you pass a schoolbus (it's illegal, so why would I do it anyways?), and tons more questions about drinking and drugs. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. It's just annoying stuff you have to memorize. They don't ask questions anymore like how many feet do you have to stay behind a fire truck or ambulance, or how many feet from a corner/stop sign do you have to park. Though the last state... I had lots of questions about the road signs and what they meant... that was nice to have some questions about real driving!!
It really depends on if he's ready to drive or not, whether or not he has autism. I was not ready to drive at 15 or 16. I was 23 when I learned. Some people are ready earlier, though. High schools generally offer a behind the wheel course where they drive around in the parking lot of the school, not in real traffic.
If your nephew has sensory issues from autism (like oversensitivity to sound or light) he'll have to recognize how that might impair his driving. I don't drive at night for instance because I can not stand the glare of headlights in my eyes. I'd drive off the road. I really have to focus on driving. When people honk their horns, I freak out sometimes. But as long as I'm mentally prepared for sounds and stuff... I don't freak out and I don't drive off the road. I don't know how other aspects of autism would affect driving. I don't have autism, but I do have sensory integration problems, that is common in autism. I'm probably not the best driver in the world. My depth perception is also a bit off. So I have to leave a huge amount of space and if I make a turn I annoy other drivers because I wait for the big break. Usually I'll turn right and then u-turn so I don't have to turn left. I also have a hard time parking sometimes if the spaces are small, so I park far away where there is more empty spaces and I can repark it until I get it right. I can not parallel park for the life of me, and do not attempt to do so. Luckily I never was tested on that when I first learned.... and I haven't had to take the road portion again since that time. Just the written part.
Oh, taking those stupid road tests are annoying... I'm really hoping I don't have to take a written drivers test again when I move to the new state. It's not about driving anymore... it's all about what is the blood alcohol contect level for when you are legally drunk, which is worse drugs or drinking while driving, how many points do you get if you pass a schoolbus (it's illegal, so why would I do it anyways?), and tons more questions about drinking and drugs. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. It's just annoying stuff you have to memorize. They don't ask questions anymore like how many feet do you have to stay behind a fire truck or ambulance, or how many feet from a corner/stop sign do you have to park. Though the last state... I had lots of questions about the road signs and what they meant... that was nice to have some questions about real driving!!
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) Community
Fearing autism, many parents aren't vaccinating their kids. Can doctors reverse this dangerous trend?
Yummy eats that will keep your child healthy and happy
What to expect in your growing baby
Is the PS3 the new Prozac … or causing ADHD in your kid?
Autism expert Dr. Richard Graff weighs in on the vaccine-autism media scandal.
Could your home be a haven for toxins that can cause ADHD?
