more involved

[Taylor_Bride_to_Be]

I wish I could get my fiance more involved with the baby (we just went and the tec said it was a girl, but I think she may be wrong).

I've been looking at nursery ideas for when the babies room gets built on so I can start looking st paint and things and get estimates, but when I show him things he says "yeah that's ok/I like that" or "wtf you been smoking woman?/no"

I ask him what he thinks and he just laughs and tells me its up to me, that this is my thing and he doesn't really care. I tell him I dont think that's fair because ive never had a baby, and this is our first child together (he has 2 daughters 11&8 by his ex wife).

I've been bugging him too about outfits and the middle name. We had agreed on Lilly, but my cousin (whose been trying for a baby for years) wants a girl named Lilly, so I decided to change it.

My fiance got upset, but when I told him that I would be upset and heartbroken if someone took the name Arya or Lincoln before we had a chance (we had to make a list of our family members name to make sure we didn't have 2 of somethings, then came friends and friends kids and other kids from people we didn't like)

Now he won't look st me and say "I like this name, spelled this way." He just makes passing comments like

'Arya writes better then Aria, but I still like Aria better to look at."

So when I ask him which he wants to use he gets frustrated and says "I don't care, just pick the one you like."

I've told him time and again to be more assertive and tell me what he wants/likes for the baby but he just laughs

Anyone else have a dad like this?

[specialmom]

My husband and I planned our kiddos and they were very much wanted.  :>)  But my husband could care less about paint colors or baby bedding.  He isn't into any of that but really isn't into that type of thing at all period.  For me, over the years, it has worked out nicely.  I pick.  He paints.  I pick everything I like.   He doesn't say much.  the room looks just as *I* want it too.  :>)  Show your girlfriends. They'll be more interested.  

and don't let this make you think he won't be a great dad.  My husband is for sure.  The aesthetics of the room and baby equipment were very uninteresting to him . . .   but our babies were his joy.  

good luck

[Chima7]

It's a completely different experience for guys. They aren't the ones carrying the baby so to them its still just a concept and not a reality. They are not feeling what you are feeling. Give them a chance because the measure of a true father is how he acts once the baby is born. Once he sees the baby it all becomes real and he will either rise to the challenge and be an awesome father or he will be just another deadbeat. Time will tell.

[HisHoneyBee]

My husband is like that too. I try looking up things online and all then show him to get him more involved and I want to walk through baby isles and look at stuff together. Plus in the mall where we live there is a store for infants and babies and I went in, wanting him to go to, but he didn't want to go in. I know exactly how you feel. He is always like "Whatever you like." I hate that! I want us both to decide it's our first child and we have been married for almost a year, but have known each other since 4th grade and I would like his opinion and all, but it's like pulling teeth. I hate it.